Kuroshitsuji  Naruto Style
by Sakura aka L-sama no Miko
Summary: Just my crazed retelling of my latest love/obsession using everyone's favorite ninjas.
1. Chapter 1

Kuroshitsuji – Naruto Style

By Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Just a bit of a warning here folks, there is going to be a bit of OOCness for most of the cast here so please don't yell at me for not getting their characters right – though I will try my best to stick to their original personalities as much as I can.

Feathers of purest white continued to fall around him, illuminating the darkness with an eerie glow as the twelve year old hung suspended in mid-air. A cloth of blood red was draped over his naked form, barely hiding the expanse of milky white skin which was covered in cuts and bruises of various shades of red, black, blue, purple and sickly yellow.

"Think hard now," a cool, breathy voice spoke from deep in the darkness, "for once you've done this, you will never be able to reach heaven for the rest of eternity."

"Hn," the boy snorted, "Do you really think someone concerned about such things would call upon a creature like you?"

There was a sardonic chuckle before the voice spoke again. "I'll ask you one more time; do you wish to form a pact with me?"

"Ch. What do you think?" the boy said, getting rather impatient. "I called you here didn't I? So do we have a deal or not?"

The voice went silent for several moments as if considering the child's demand. Suddenly, the feathers began to violently swirl about the eleven year old, completely blocking him from view. Gradually, the snowy white plumes turned from purest white to deepest black.

**Three Years Later…**

"Time to get up, bocchan," the red headed butler announced, drawing back the curtains and deftly tying the heavy blue silk back. The raven haired boy stirred as the early morning sunlight streamed through the delicate window sheers. The master of the Uchiha mansion let out a muffled grumble as he rubbed his still sleep hazed eyes. He said nothing as the man dressed in a deep red – almost black – tailcoat and trousers began removing the boy's pajamas.

"I have prepared toast and scones along with today's breakfast," the butler continued as he expertly poured the boy's morning tea. "Which would you prefer?"

"Toast," his master replied, the black sheet with his clan's crest sliding down to his waist as the young lord sat up. He frowned at the smiling redhead. The man seemed to take great pains to get on his nerves every chance he got. His butler knew he hated anything sweet, yet still he made a sweet dish with every meal. "What is the schedule for today?"

"You have a meeting with Mr. Nara, the expert on the Sunan Empire," the redhead began as he pulled the boy's shirt over his head and gingerly guided his arms through the sleeves before fastening the cuff buttons. "Then later this evening Mr. Kakuzu will be paying you a visit."

"Hmm… isn't that the person in charge of the stuffed toys at the clan's factory in Ame?" the brunet queried as his butler tied the eye patch around his head, making sure it was completely covering the boy's right eye, but not too loose or too tight.

"Yes. I have heard he is rather a ruthless man when it comes to money. However, we will offer him the best hospitality we are able."

"Oolong?" the young master asked, lifting the china cup to his lips.

"Yes, bocchan. It was imported from Tea Country this morning. I will see you in t he dining room sir." The butler gave his employer a bow and headed for the bedroom door.

The young Uchiha lord scowled and quickly grabbed a kunai from a set he kept by the bed. While the redheaded man started reaching for the doorknob, the fourteen year old launched the throwing weapon at his servant, aiming for the butler's head.

The red headed man didn't even flinch when he heard the kunai whoosh toward him. Instead he waited to the last possible second before neatly catching it between two white gloved fingers. "Not a bad throw, bocchan," he said nonchalantly, "But I'm afraid the games will have to wait for later," he added with a smirk.

'Tch. Whatever, Gaara." The butler made no reply; instead he continued to smirk at the boy's attempt on his life and calmly strode through the door.

A kunai went sailing through the air and landed squarely on the back of the shaggy haired gardener's head. The teen let out a startled yelp of pain as the weapon bounced off his thick skull and landed on the plush carpet with a dull thud. "Hey!" he shouted, "Why'd ya do that for Master Sasuke?"

"I don't have to explain to the likes of you," the bratty Uchiha huffed as he continued to eat his breakfast.

Before the gardener could further protest his master's unfair and uncalled for actions, the dining room door burst open to reveal a rather annoyed redhead.

"So this is where you've been," Gaara stated, "I assume you've finished weeding the garden, Kiba." The gardener gave a rather sheepish look. "Hinata, has all the bedding been cleaned?"

The unusually shy and meek maid who'd been currently been hanging around in the dining room as well let out a frightened squeak at her superior's question. "W-W-Well y-you see," she stammered, touching her index fingers together.

Gaara chose to ignore her for the moment to focus on the tall blond standing next to her. "Deidara, I thought I told you to start preparing for dinner." The cook gave a nervous chuckle. "Asuma," the butler started, glancing at the former Uchiha steward as he sat calmly smoking a cigarette, while making sure none of the smoke blew anywhere near their master. "You can stay as you are." The older gentleman gave a grateful nod before taking another puff. "As for you three," Gaara said, giving the other servants his full attention now. His teal eyes narrowed dangerously as he continued to glare at them. "There's no time for you to be goofing off. Now get to work!"

The air suddenly felt heavy and the three of them began to scatter about like chickens with their heads cut off. None of them wanted to face their superior's ire. There was just something about the butler that screamed, 'mess with me and you'll wish for death when I'm through with you.'

"Ch. Baka," muttered the redhead.

Gaara smiled as he surveyed his handiwork. He allowed a rush of pride to wash over him as he glanced at the thoroughly polished silverware, the spotless and crease free linen tablecloth, the immaculately arranged flower arrangement that included snow white lilies – the young master's favorites, and the choicest ingredients for the evening meal.

"This shall indeed be a meal worthy of the Uchiha name," he said extremely proud of his achievements. Just as he was about to start on the menu for tonight, a little bell marked 'study' rang through the kitchen.

The redheaded butler let out an exasperated huff as he pulled his dark red tailcoat back on. "He knows how much I still have to do, yet he still calls me," Gaara grumbled to himself as he strode down the hall and toward the upper floors.

Unbeknownst to the redheaded butler, the three morons – better known as Deidara, Hinata, and Kiba had been spying on their superior. "Hah! I knew it, un!" the overly cheerful cook piped. "We've got a guest comin', un! Now's our chance!"

"What the hell do ya mean?" Kiba asked.

"Well," answered the taller man, "You know how Gaara's always scolding us, un? Well, why don't we show 'im just how good we really are so he'll never yell at us again, un! That'll really blast his socks off, un!"

"T-That's a w-wonderful idea," Hinata beamed.

"Yeah! It's not like we have to rely on Gaara to do everything. I mean, we're not completely useless, right?" added the gardener.

"That's the spirit un!"

"Gaara, I'm a bit hungry," Sasuke announced as the butler entered the upstairs study. "Bring me a snack."

"You'll only ruin your appetite bocchan."

"Who cares? Do as I tell you."

"I must apologize, my lord," the redhead said calmly, though he was seething inside at his master's perpetually bratty behavior.

"Tch. Fine," the fourteen year old spat flippantly. "About that hideous portrait at the landing, I want it removed. I am Sasuke Uchiha, son of Mikoto and Fugaku. I am master of the clan now."

"It shall be done, my lord," Gaara said bowing to the boy.

"Now," the red haired man queried, his eyes narrowing dangerously yet again, "Would you three fools kindly explain just how the garden got utterly destroyed, the best china smashed to smithereens, and today's dinner transformed into inedible charcoal?"

"I kinda forgot the sprayer lid was busted so the extra strength weed killer leaked everywhere."

"I-I-I w-w-w-was t-t-trying to r-reach the tea set w-w-we use f-f-for guests and t-the c-c-cabinet f-fell," the poor maid stammered.

"Well, ya see," explained Deidara, "That was a lot of meat, un. So I figured I'd speed things up if I used my special explosives to make it cook faster, un."

"Please forgive us, Gaara-dono!" the servants pleaded in unison as they began groveling on the kitchen floor. "We didn't mean for things to get ruined like that!"

'Great', the butler fumed silently, 'Kakuzu-san is due to arrive at six, which is two hours away. Not enough time to correct those idiots' mistakes. Just once, I'd like for bocchan to order me to deal with them properly.

"Will you calm down?" Gaara commanded. The sniveling servants immediately snapped to attention. "Why can't you all follow Asuma-san's example for…" The redhead stopped abruptly an idea forming in his mind. "Now listen up you three. You have to do as I say to the letter and it must be done as quickly as possible. There is still a chance to redeem your worthless selves as well as the master's reputation."

**Two hours later…**

"I must say I am impressed," Kakuzu said, admiring the Japanese style garden at the front of the Uchiha manor. He'd heard of the Uchiha clan's immense wealth and thus had expected an overly extravagantly planted garden filled to the brim with expensive and frivolous statues and what not.

"A truly elegant, yet simple garden," the factory foreman exclaimed, "I see his lordship does know the value of a ryou after all."

Gaara bristled at the insult to his master, but restrained himself. The money obsessed fool will be dealt with all in good time. "Dinner shall be served out front," the butler said in perfectly veiled annoyance, "Please let me escort you inside. The meal shall be ready shortly.

"Not what I was expecting, but the Uchiha has been a rather unpredictable clan," Kakuzu remarked again, following the shorter man into the manor.

"We're making excellent progress with the Ame factory," the factory foreman said as the boy move the game piece along the multicolored board. "We have a highly capable staff so we should be able to bring in quite a profit."

"Looks like I have the worst luck," Sasuke said, ignoring the man and glancing at the space his piece had stopped on. "I've become charmed by the dead. I've lost a turn."

"As I was saying, your lordship," the man tried again, clearing his throat, "now would be an excellent time to expand the business. Build a strong labor force and…"

"Are you going to move or not?" interrupted the boy.

Kakuzu glared at the fourteen year old brat, but quickly stopped himself from saying anything that might make his meal ticket throw him out. He hastily spun the top then moved his piece. "I think twelve thousand ryou should be enough for this expansion and I assure you, it'll be very profitable for us both."

"You lose a leg in the enchanted forest," Sasuke said, once again ignoring the money hungry man. Kakuzu gave the boy a confused look before remembering the game, so intent on closing the deal was he. "Oh, by the way, it's your turn again. I lost a turn just now remember?"

"Ah, yes of course." Kakuzu once again spun the tope and prepared to move his piece further along the board, "Six spaces, right?"

"Wrong," the raven haired child spoke, "You've lost a leg, so you can only go half the number which means you move three."

"Quite the gruesome game for a child to be playing, don't you think?" the factory foreman said with a bit of a nervous chuckle. "You don't think I could get that leg back?"

"Hmph. I'm afraid not. Once you've lost something, really lost it, one can never get it back." Sasuke then snatched the man's piece from his hand, placing it on the proper colored square. "Burnt by a towering inferno," he said as if such a thing was an everyday occurrence and thus not worth noticing.

"Everything is going well, I trust," Gaara said, entering the kitchen as Deidara began slicing what little meat they had left.

"Yep," chirped the blond, "but are you sure this is what you want us to do, un?"

"Yes, just keep doing as I say and it'll be…"

"G-Gaara-san!" Hinata called as she ran down the hall carrying several heavy looking boxes marked 'fragile'. "F-F-Found them!" True to Hinata fashion, the poor maid tripped in her haste and the boxes went flying in several directions.

Gaara being the superb butler that he was - as well used to such disasters involving their maid - reacted with lightning speed and cat like grace, saving the boxes from crashing to the floor and thus shattering their precious contents. However, as a result, Hinata had crashed right into the redhead's firm chest, causing her to become beet red.

"Really Hinata," said Gaara, sighing, "How many times must I tell you not to run inside the manor house?" The maid however hadn't heard a single word. Hinata had fainted dead away.

Sighing once more, the butler turned to the other servants – also used to the girl's all too common fainting spells. "Now that we have everything we need, I shall be taking over. You two can retire for the rest of the night if you like. But first, see to Hinata before you do. Oh and one more thing, there had better not be anymore slip ups. Not a single one, have you got that?"

Kiba and Deidara both gulped at the man's hard icy teal orbs.

"Dinner is ready, my lord," the redheaded butler announced as he opened the drawing room doors.

"Thank you, Gaara," Sasuke said, rising from his chair. "It looks like we'll have to finish this game later."

"Must we, your lordship," Kakuzu protested, anxious to get on with his business deal. "You can see I'm just going to lose anyway."

"Out of the question," huffed Sasuke. "I don't like not finishing what I start and I'm not about to start doing so because you want to be a coward."

"Little brat," the man spat, causing the boy to whirl his head around. "I-I mean," he started, clearing his throat. "Sometimes you need a child's eye to see what is the most important. Maybe that's what has made Uchiha the most popular name in toy making. I can't say I'm not impressed after all."

The dubious factory foreman continued to brown nose, completely missing the deadly stare of the young lord's butler as they passed by.

"Raw beef and rice?" Kakuzu asked in barely veiled disgust as he stared at the small bowl with painted cherry blossoms. He had been expecting simple fare like a three course meal since the young lord seemed to be less extravagant than his ancestors, but this was ridiculous. Did he really expect his guests to eat a poor man's dish?

"That is donburi, sir," Gaara explained, "It is a traditional dish from the Land of Rice Patties given to someone who has done a great favor. The young master simply wishes to reward you for all your hard work at the factory."

"I see that the famed Uchiha hospitality lives up to its name," Kakuzu remarked, his disgust vanishing rapidly with Gaara's bit of ego stroking.

The dinner went off without any problems except for a tiny bit of clumsiness on Hinata's part. The maid had spilt most of the wine on the pristine tablecloth due to the fact that Gaara had previously pulled her aside to remind her of her duties and causing her to become flustered because of her crush on the rather handsome butler.

The redhead had seen the shocked look on his master's face as the increasing puddle began to resemble a pool of blood and promptly yanked the practically ruined cloth off the table without disturbing a single dish – much to Sasuke's relief.

"Quite an interesting dinner, your lordship," Kakuzu said upon returning to the drawing room. "Now as to the contract, we've been discussing…"

"We'll deal with that later. I want to finish our game," protested Sasuke.

"As much as I'd like to, my lord, I do have a rather pressing engagement.

"You do know we children take our games seriously, don't you?" the Uchiha lord continued, "Surely you wouldn't want this _child_ to get upset do you?"

The money obsessed man bristled slightly, but once again remembered that he needed this brat's money. "Then please allow me to phone my associate to rearrange our appointment."

The raven haired boy nodded and called for Gaara to show the man to the telephone.

"I'm getting tired of playing babysitter," Kakuzu spat irately into the phone, unaware of a certain eavesdropping redheaded butler. "You know I can't stand these spoiled rug rats. Look, I don't care; the factory's already been taken care of. I just have to bilk this kid of the rest of the dough. To hell with the workers! They'll just have to find jobs elsewhere. You just worry about the formalities. I'll deal with the brat, Hidan."

The factory foreman then hung up the phone and began making his way back to the drawing room, stopping only to glance at the portrait of the boy's deceased parents. He quickly rubbed his eyes when the eyes of Fugaku Uchiha seemed to move and glower at him, the boy's former words coming to mind. 'I've become charmed by the dead'

"Tch. Rubbish!" he spat, resuming his journey up the stairs.

However, the Uchiha mansion seemed to have been built like a maze and Kakuzu was having trouble remembering the way back to the drawing room and the factory foreman was becoming more and more irate, thus causing him to be less aware of what was going on around him. While Kakuzu was muttering to himself, a white faced, black clad figure began to appear in front of him – the figure of Fugaku Uchiha.

Startled greatly, the money obsessed man let out a gasp and turned tail, running back the way he had just come.

"Hey, wasn't that our guest just now?" Kiba said lugging the family portrait across the intersecting hallways.

"Oi!" called Diedara from the other end of the painting, "This thing ain't exactly light you know, un!"

"Oops, sorry!" the shaggy haired gardener called back and continued to lug the large and heavy portrait.

Meanwhile, Kakuzu continued to run and tripped over the bucket Hinata had dropped and causing him to fall down the double staircase in the front hall. After he finally stopped on the lowest part of the stairs, the man's leg had been bent in an unnatural way, thus making it completely useless.

Poor Hinata began panicking, not sure as to what to do about such a serious injury. The gardener and chef came by, still carrying the portrait which caused Kakuzu to freak out even more since the extreme pain from his broken leg had begun to cause him to hallucinate.

Sasuke's voice seemed to be coming from Fugaku's picture as it spoke to him, "You lose a leg in the enchanted forest."

Kakuzu let out a terrified scream and attempted to crawl away, desperate to escape.

"Leaving so soon?" Gaara asked in mock disappointment. "We haven't even begun to extend the full Uchiha hospitality. You must stay for dessert, sir, I simply must insist." The wounded factory foreman began to scramble away from the frightening butler, completely unnerved by the man's black and gold eyes. "It seems you've lost a leg," Gaara remarked, smirking evilly, pleased that he was finally going to have a bit of fun with the money obsessed man. "That means you can only move half the number of spaces" the butler added, calmly striding after the whimpering man, "So why just stay for a bit and relax, hm?"

Kakuzu somehow managed to get away from the seemingly demonic butler and found a small cupboard to hide in. He gasped and shuddered when he heard the redhead's footsteps approaching.

Suddenly the cupboard he'd been hiding in began to give off an orange glow, the temperature starting to steadily rise. A slit in the door that the factory foreman hadn't noticed in his rush slid open, a pair of jet black eyes with golden diamond shaped pupils appeared.

"My, my, aren't we the impatient one," Gaara said, barely containing his amusement. "Just couldn't wait for dessert to leave the oven."

"O-Oven?" the money obsessed man sputtered now truly fearing for his life. This was no pain induced hallucination. "Let me out! I beg you! I'll give you all the money you want!"

"You know," the red haired man said, ignoring Kakuzu's desperate cries and pleas, "There are many desserts in Fire Country that have meat as an ingredient. Mince pie, plumb pudding for instance. All quite delicious I assure you."

The last thing going through Kakuzu's mind the last words Sasuke had said to him before dinner. 'Burned by an towering inferno.' The irony of his current situation hadn't been lost on him as the factory foreman let out scream after scream as he was cooked alive.

"What an amusing scream," the fourteen year old lord said to himself, Kakuzu's screams being loud enough to echo through the manor. Sasuke glanced at his never to be finished game. "He sounds just like a lamb being led to the slaughterhouse. What nerve. First he sells the Ame factory without getting my approval then he has the gall to come over here and ask for more money. Did he really think I'd be so stupid as to trust the likes of him?"

He glared at the final square on the game board as he moved a piece to the picture of a happily smiling family in a carriage in front of their enormous mansion. "Once truly lost, you can never get it back," he said to no one in particular, knocking the game piece over in disgust.

~TBC~

Sakura: Well, it had to happen eventually minna, I've been seduced by that 'one hell of a butler'!

Grell: You can't have him you hussy! Sebas-chan's mine! (whips out deathscythe)

Itachi: Kindly remove that ridiculous thing from her face unless you want to know eternal suffering.

Grell: Oh my! Such a deliciously dangerous man! Make me suffer you gorgeous hunk you!

Will: There'll be none of that Grell Sutcliff. Now come along, you've got work to do.

Grell: B-But William!

Sebastian: Honestly. Such a vulgar creature.

Sakura: Don't worry Sebas-chan. That freak of a shinigami's gone. Here pet the kitty.

Sebastian: So soft!

Sakura: As I was saying minna, I've been bitten by the BB bug, hence this monstrosity. I hope I didn't mangle things too much so please do be kind with the reviews everyone.


	2. Chapter 2

Kuroshitsuji – Naruto Style

By Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Episode 2

_**I'm baaaaaaack! I must apologize to you all for being away for so long. It's been one hell of a summer for me (sorry Sebas-chan, couldn't resist). First a few health issues, then finally selling my house and moving all of the junk out of it. But I'm officially settled now so updates should be more regular. Well, on with the show!**_

The tall blond let out a curse as he examined the wire in the floor. "This one's a goner, un," he said scowling at the chewed through piece of rubber and copper.

"I-Is it the r-rats again?" the violet haired maid stammered.

"I know the buggers have been going nuts around Konoha, but for them to be this far out…" the shaggy haired gardener started. Just then, a plump gray rat came scampering by. "Ok, now you've asked for it!" Kiba yelled, grabbing a heavy marble pedestal and threw it at the poor creature. Deidara and Hinata quickly scurried away as fast as they could. Kiba's aim was a tad off this time. "Darn! It got away," he said, chuckling sheepishly as the pedestal nearly hit the other two servants.

"What's so funny, un?" demanded the cook, "You almost got us killed you baka, un!"

Meanwhile, in the Uchiha mansion's game room, the lord of the house, Sasuke Uchiha, was entertaining a few guests – Lord Mizuki, head of Konoha Police, his adopted aunt Lady Kushina Namikaze aka Madame Red for her eccentric habit of always wearing red as well as her fiery red hair, Choji Akimichi, the son of a wealthy clan who ran a large chain of specialty restaurants, Rock Lee, a Chinese teenager whose public face was that of a wealthy tea and spice trader, and Nagato Uzumaki, a wealthy businessman with quite a few skeletons of his own.

"Quite the lively home you have," the police commissioner remarked. "So even the famed Uchiha aren't immune to pests."

"Ah yes," the Akimichi heir said, while munching on a bag of his clan's famed chips, "how long are you planning on let these disgusting vermin to run free?"

"Something must be done," Lee said, pulling the Chinese girl who'd been sitting quietly next to him into his lap, making the police commissioner and Choji slightly uncomfortable. That was something one didn't do in polite society. "But I am most certain that someone will do so. he is just waiting for the right moment to strike with his most youthful justice."

"No doubt about that!" agreed Madame Red, "He's the type to settle matters with one blow, believe it! So you gonna pass again, Sasuke-kun?"

The raven haired boy gave the redheaded woman a glare. He disliked his aunt's free talk and less than conventional ways. "Hn. Why shoot if you know you'll just miss?" he scoffed.

"You do have a valid point," the silver haired commissioner agreed, "But when will you make a move and deal with this problem?"

"It doesn't matter," the fourteen-year-old lord answered, "Rats will always come looking for scraps of food. But this time, I'm the one holding the key to the larder."

At that statement, the redheaded, heavily pierced businessman startled, causing his billiard cue to jump and messing up his shot as a result. Sasuke gave the red and black suited man a knowing glance, but held his tongue, instead choosing to continue talking to Lord Mizuki.

"However, this won't be easy a laying a few traps, not if you want the whole nest exterminated. If I were you, I'd start thinking of suitable compensation for a job like this," Sasuke said, addressing the silver haired man.

"You little…" grumbled Mizuki, quickly remembering that this brat of a lord was of a much higher station than his.

"Sir Mizuki," Sasuke said in a warning tone, "I'd watch what I'd say about my family if I were you."

"That was not a wise move, Sir Mizuki," the rather corpulent Akimichi said, causing the silver haired nobleman to bristle even more and grip his billiard cue even tighter. "So what will you do next, Lord Uchiha?"

"Might as well stop this meaningless game," the boy said, rising from his chair and striding to the billiard table, his specially made cue in hand. "About the payment," he queried as he passed by Mizuki, "I'd like it as soon as possible once I've accomplished my task."

"Tch. I can get it tonight, that is if you're done by then of course," sneered the police commissioner.

"Expect a carriage by then. Who knows, I might even have some entertainment for you."

"H-Hey wait a moment!" shouted Choji. "Don't tell me you're going after them all with one shot after giving up on your chances twice?"

"Of course," quipped Sasuke, hopping onto the table and lining up his shot.

"I wouldn't let my greed get the better of me, if I were you," Mizuki sneered, shoving the boy's previous words back into his face.

"Hn," was all the fourteen year old had to say as he hit the white ball. True to his reputation as 'Lord of Games', the rest of the multicolored balls scattered across the felt lined table and rolled into their respective pockets. "I believe I win," Sasuke said, hopping off and heading out of the game room, that being a silent dismissal to his guests.

"Your tea," Gaara announced, handing the raven haired lord his cup.

"This has a most invigorating and youthful scent," the green clad teen commented as he helped himself to some of Gaara's best tea. Once again the Chinese girl who followed him everywhere was settled happily in his lap. "When made properly, tea can quite enjoyable."

"Naruto," Madame Red called to her own butler.

"Y-Yes ma'am?" the rather feminine looking chestnut brown haired man in a black and orange suit similar to the Uchiha butler's, chirped nervously. It was no secret that the shorter butler was impatient and slow to figure things out, therefore totally inept at his profession.

"Why don't you learn something from Gaara for once," grumbled Naruto's mistress, "Why just look at him!" she squealed, copping a feel of the redheaded butler, "With a physique like that you **must **quit this boring country job and work in the city! For me of course!" Lady Kushina quickly added.

Gaara being the gentleman he was, kept his fury at being felt up and ogled like a piece of meat bottled deep inside. He would save it for the work he'd be sure to be done once the proper preparations were in place.

"Auntie Red," Sasuke called, clearing his throat to hide his amusement at his butler's obvious annoyance.

"Oops sorry about that kiddo. Couldn't stop myself, believe it! Doctor's habit you know," the red haired and red clad woman apologized, grinning sheepishly.

"So," Lee began, "Was that most unyouthful drug trafficker you've been after one of your guests today as you thought?"

"Sasuke, sweetie," Madame Red suggested – she never did approve of making such a young and impressionable boy perform such tasks as the one he was currently charged with, "why not leave this to Lee? After all, it'd be easier to set a rat to catch a rat."

"That isn't very youthful of you, madam," the Chinese spice trader protested, tears streaming down his cheeks, "I am merely his lordship's, pet hamster," he continued, getting up from his seat and began ruffling the fourteen year old's hair, "Should Sasuke-dono forbid it, then I will do nothing. Such is our undying friendship."

"Hey! Get your filthy paws off my baby nephew!" Lady Kushina snarled, proving she had earned another – though currently lesser known – nickname, 'Red-Hot Habanero'. She leapt from her chair and immediately snatched the boy from the trader and pressed him close against her, forcing the boy to gasp for air.

"I am appalled!" the bushy browed teen objected once more, tears continuing to fall from his dark eyes. "I would **never** do such an unyouthful thing as paw his lordship, especially in his own home, madam!"

"Are you implying," the overprotective doctor roared, dropping the poor boy, "That you would molest him elsewhere you filthy pervert? Oh you're gonna pay pal!"

"Master Sasuke," Gaara said, helping the young lord back to his feet, ignoring Madame Red who was now chasing Lee around the drawing room as the Chinese teen nimbly dodged her swinging fists.

"I'm fine," snapped the boy, slapping the butler's hand away. "Rat's huh?" he pondered as he left the drawing room.

"About today's dessert," the redheaded butler queried, following his master like the shadow he was expected to be, "Where would you like to have it served?"

"My study," Sasuke replied, "I've grown tired of those two."

"As you wish, my lord," Gaara acquiesced, bowing respectfully. "And just **what** are you doing?" he demanded, as Kiba, Hinata and Deidara frantically chased a pack of rats back and forth down the hall. 'Honestly, these three are practically useless when it comes to simple everyday household duties,' the redheaded butler fumed silently.

The three servants froze at their superior's irritated scowl. Sighing the butler, leapt into action and caught the pesky rodents in one go, the rats dangling by their tails from one gloved hand. "No more goofing off," Gaara warned, "You've got work to do."

The servants gulped then quickly dashed away from Gaara as quickly as they could. With that done, the butler went toward the kitchen to see about making a proper dessert for his master.

"Hn. Morons," Sasuke muttered as he reached the study. The boy opened the door, muttering something about peace and quiet when suddenly a hand covered his nose and mouth. The last thing he noticed was the stink of chloroform and the sensation of being dragged off somewhere.

"Bocchan," Gaara queried as he knocked on the study door. A cart loaded with tea and various fruit dishes stood nearby, ready to be consumed by the butler's young lord. There was no answer, but Gaara opened the door anyway. "Bocchan?" he called again only to see that the usually immaculate room looking as if a hurricane had blown through it. Chairs were overturned, books and papers lay scattered about, and his young charge was nowhere in sight.

The butler narrowed his eyes at the currently open terrace doors, the curtains flapping in the afternoon breeze. There was no way Sasuke would leave the doors open, let alone lift a finger to even open them himself.

"How bothersome," the redhead grumbled, "After all the trouble I went through to get the freshest fruit, this happens. What a waste."

The guardian of Fire Country's antiestablishment population. One of the great clans who've done the rulers' less savory jobs for generations. The Hokage's watch dog that bites those who dare offend her," said the redheaded man with several piercings in his nose and ears, chuckling as he surveyed his 'guest'. "I wonder how long that list of nicknames of yours is, Sasuke Uchiha. Just how many clans were ruined because of you?"

The raven haired boy glared at the man, not bothering to even try to get out of the ropes and wires that had him firmly bound. Blood trickled down his chin from the split lip he was currently sporting. "I knew it'd be you," he spat smugly, an arrogant smirk appearing on his still childish face. "Nagato 'Pein' Uzumaki of the Akatsuki yakuza. Your parents must be weeping up there in heaven over what you've been up to."

"That's rather naughty," Pein said, returning the boy's smirk as he strode over to him. "You of all people should know how hard it is for honest businessmen like myself in this country. All of you here have is tea for brains. And because of that," continued the yakuza boss, squatting down to be at eye level with the captive child. "We're forced to think of other ways to make money, whether its drugs or women or firearms. So what?"

"The Apothecary Act of twenty years ago made your opium a highly restricted substance. That is what the Hokage ordered, so I will get rid of any and all such drugs along with the scum who dares to sell them."

Pein let out an exasperated groan. "You are exactly why I can't stand people form Fire Country. It's always 'Hokage this', 'Hokage that'. You make that old hag sound as if she's your mother! And not only that, you all make a grab for all the cash for yourselves while acting as if you're better than the rest of the world." He then grabbed the boy's chin tightly forcing Sasuke to look him in the eye. "Now you and I know we're not that different, so why don't you be a good little boy and let the grown ups handle things, hm?"

"My servants have orders to give the key you're so desperate to get your hands on to the police if I am not returned to my manor," the fourteen year old replied defiantly, the smirk once again crossing his face. "Looks like you'll have to find another playmate. I refuse to let someone like you run loose."

Pein gave a disappointed sigh then stood back up, drawing a pistol from his red and black suit pocket. "Don't think you've won, boy," he said aiming at Sasuke's chest, "I'm one step ahead of you. My men have been running surveillance on your lovely home for some time now. Unless you wish for your servants to die one by one, then you'd better tell me where that key is."

"No one's going to die," Sasuke shot back, the smirk turning into a ruthless smile. "I doubt you've even bothered to train your dogs to fetch properly."

"Little brat!" Pein kicked the boy in the stomach, causing the raven haired lord to grunt in pain and fall onto his side. The angry yakuza boss stormed over to his desk and grabbed the telephone, hitting the speed dial. "No more wasting time," he snarled into the mouthpiece, "Find that key!"

"Now where did they take him?" the red haired butler wondered, carrying the last remaining dish of wasted fruit.

"G-G-Gaara-san!" Hinata shouted as she came running up to him. "T-T-There was a l-letter a-at the f-front door!"

"A letter? Addressed to whom, Hinata?"

"T-T-The E-E-Earl of U-Uchiha's s-s-servants."

Just as the maid was about to hand him the letter, a shot rang out from outside the manor, causing her to react on instinct and pounce onto the slightly taller man. Both of them crashed to the floor as a bullet sped by them, shattering the window as well as a rather expensive porcelain vase. The bowl of fruit salad went sailing upward only to land safely back down onto its tray, nto a single piece disturbed.

"Hinata," Gaara said as if such occurrences were all too common place. "The letter if you don't mind.

"Y-Y-Y-Yes sir," she stammered, shoving the crumpled piece of paper into the butler's hand before promptly fainting.

Sighing exasperatedly, Gaara rolled the unconscious girl off of him and gracefully rose to his feet. Carefully putting the fruit aside, he opened the letter and tsked at the sloppy handwriting.

'If ya want yer little boss back in 1 peece,

come ta da Mem'ry Stone thingy as kwik

as possble. And don' fergit da key.'

"Such insolent, vulgar people," the Uchiha butler muttered, crumpling the letter even further.

"Gaara-danna!" Deidara called as he and Kiba approached him, having heard the commotion.

"Just what is going on, Gaara?" demanded Lady Kushina as she and Lee entered the hall, also having heard the ruckus.

"Forgive me, my lady," apologized the butler, "Just a bit of clumsiness on Hinata's part. Nothing to concern yourself with."

"Nothing, huh?" the redheaded woman asked skeptically, glancing at the shattered window and vase. "You sure?"

"Yes, madam. If you'll excuse me, I must see to this mess and hire a window maker. Take care of this," Gaara said, handing the fruit salad to the cook and gardener as he passed them by.

"Oi, that means we can eat it, right, un?" Deidara asked, eager to have one of the butler's culinary treats. Turning around when he got no reply, his only visible cerulean eye widened in surprise at the completely empty hall, the redheaded man nowhere in sight. "Uh, Gaara-danna?" Still no answer. Their superior had completely vanished.

"Gomen nasai, sir," Pein's personal sniper said into the car phone, apologizing profusely as his partner drove as quickly as he could from the Uchiha manor. "I missed."

"What do you mean you missed?" came the Akatsuki head's irate voice. "You idiots! Why I hired incompetent fools like you, I'll never know. Look, just get your sorry asses back here!"

"Um, sir, I see something," the sniper said, looking over his shoulder, barely able to make out a figure amidst the dust cloud trailing the car.

"What's wrong now?" the red haired criminal questioned, leaning against his desk. "You ladies run into a wolf in the woods?" There was brief cry followed by static. "What's happening?" Pein demanded.

"Floor it!" screamed the sniper, ignoring their boss's continued shouts and demands for an answer. The car swerved dangerously as the driver pushed the petal all the way to the floor in a desperate attempt to escape. "I-It's coming closer!"

"Stop this nonsense and tell me what's going on!" Pein demanded yet again. There was nothing but screams of sheer and utter terror and static for the next few moments. Then there was a loud sound that resembled something crashing or slamming into something. "Talk to me! What's going on over there?" the yakuza boss yelled into his end of the phone.

Sasuke who was still lying on the carpeted floor, smirked as he gave a sly chuckle. He had a **very **good idea as what was happening to the yakuza goons. "Sounds you've lost your game of fetch, Pein," he taunted, "What a shame."

"Shut your mouth, filthy brat!" the man shouted and started kicking the prone boy again, "If you fools don't tell me what the hell's going on right now," Pein screamed into the telephone, "I'll make sure you beg for death when I'm through with you!"

"Good afternoon," came a strange and amused voice.

"Who the hell is this?"

"I'm speaking on behalf of the Uchiha Estate," replied the unknown male voice. "If it's not too much of a bother, I'd like to speak to my master if you don't mind." Pein suddenly broke out into a sweat. There was something about he man's voice that greatly unnerved the usually hardened Akatsuki head. "Hello? Anyone there," called the stranger after several seconds since Pein had found himself unable to speak.

"Woof," Sasuke said sharply, knowing the one on the other end would be able to hear him not matter how far away from the phone he was.

"Yes, master," the Uchiha butler acknowledged as he stood on the hood of the car, an enormous dent beneath him from the force of his landing. "I shall come for you in a moment." Gaara hung up the phone then leaned toward the two horrified men. "Thank you for the use of your phone, gentlemen. Now, I'd like a few questions I have answered. Who hired you?"

The two remained silent still in shock. "I'd hurry up if I were you. I am not the most patient of people," Gaara said, moving just enough to cause the car to rock as it dangled halfway off the cliff, the two had almost drove over. "I'm sure you are aware of what happened to Humpty Dumpty."

"I-It was P-Pein!" stammered the sniper, "H-He's got a place in the Western District of Konoha.

"My thanks," Gaara said, rising to his feet, making the rear end of the car to dip even further off the edge.

"W-Wait!" pleaded the driver, "W-We're just hired guns!"

"Of course, you are," the red haired man replied, smiling. "I do apologize for disrupting your work, sirs. Do have a safe journey."

With that, he leapt backwards off the car's hood. The vehicle promptly slid off the cliff completely. The two men screamed all the way down only to be killed in the resulting explosion upon crashing into the forest below.

"This isn't good," Gaara muttered as he took out his pocket watch and glanced at it. "At this rate, I'll never have dinner ready in time for bocchan."

**Meanwhile…**

"Lee," Madame Red began as the carriage they were sharing drove on towards the city. "You're absolutely sure there's nothing wrong back at the manor?"

"Of course not, dear lady!" the bushy browed teen assured. "If our youthful friend's butler said nothing was amiss, then it most certainly be so. Gaara-san has been with Sasuke-kun for so long now that it seems that they have developed a very strong bond. He is always by his lordship's side, a most mysterious shadow. Ah, how wonderful it must be to have a servant like that, that you can trust with your very life!" Tears began to stream down the Chinese teen's cheeks.

"So long?" the redheaded woman sputtered, "Gaara's only been around for two years! How can anyone make such a bond like you say in that amount of time?"

"Two years, you say?" the dark haired teen parroted incredulously, "I guess I must have heard things wrong. Then of course, I don't have the best memory when it comes to things. Right, Tenten?"

The ever silent Chinese girl simply nodded.

"Useless moron," Madame Red mumbled under her breath.

"Listen up!" shouted Pein as several of his best men gathered around him. "The Uchiha brat's got men heading this way! I want security tripled, especially at the front gate! Do **not **let a single insect through!"

An army of thugs, each armed to the teeth, raced through out the Akatsuki mansion, several groups breaking off at key positions.

"Nice place," the redhead said in appreciation of the architecture, having slipped in during the rush to secure the building.

"W-Who the f*^ are you?" one of the thugs demanded, whirling around and aiming at the intruder.

"Where are my manners," Gaara said, bowing slightly. "I'm here on behalf of the Uchiha clan." All hell broke loose. Bullets went flying, filling the air and resembling a swarm of locusts. The Akatsuki henchmen soon became flustered when the redheaded man remained standing, not a single scratch on him, his immaculate dark red coat and trousers still immaculate. The butler's eyes changed from icy teal to deepest black, the pupils becoming a gold diamonds. Before any of them knew what was happening, several of the men started screaming as a dark red flash began darting about the front gate.

"Do pardon me," the red haired butler said as he shattered the last man's arm. A pile of corpses and unconscious men lay at the butler's feet. "But I'm in a hurry."

Bullets rained upon Gaara as he opened the door to the dining hall. Unfazed at all, he grabbed the nearest tray and held it before him as a makeshift shield. The redheaded butler then dashed further into the hall, using the tray as a Frisbee and knocking down several men lining the upper balconies. "So many rats," he bemoaned as he started throwing the dishes that had been set on the fifteen foot long table, never missing a single target. "Dinner will definitely be late now."

Scowling, Gaara decided to bring out his favorite weapons of choice. Grabbing hold of all the silverware, the butler began using them as makeshift kunai. The force behind his throws killed quite a few of Pein's lackeys.

"J-Just who the hell is this guy?" one poor sap said as a knife hit his eye, falling backward.

"I'd be a poor butler indeed if I couldn't perform to my master's expectations." Gaara replied, leaping into the air and launched an all or nothing attack of knives and forks. A few seconds later, the dining hall had become a mess of dead and whimpering bodies, quite a few of them lying on the table and floor below, having fallen from the above side balconies.

"That wasted a lot more time than I had hoped," said the redhead, checking his pocket watch again. "Such an inconsiderate master, he has no thought for all the work I do."

Pein shook nervously as he gripped his pistol. Footsteps echoed outside the office and were steadily getting closer. The yakuza boss had heard the pain filled, dying screams of his army of thugs and was now starting to fear for his life. Not knowing who or what was coming down that hall had him on edge.

The footsteps stopped just outside the doors causing the red haired criminal to gulp rather loudly. The doors flew open to reveal Sasuke Uchiha's butler, an amused and cruel smirk on the man's face. "You will kindly hand over my master," Gaara said, the smirk never leaving his face.

"You've got to be kidding me," jeered Pein as he took in the other redhead's immaculate appearance. "From all that ruckus, I was expecting some kind of monster. Not a pretty boy in a butler's uniform. There's no way you're just a butler, who are you really working for? Anbu? ROOT?"

The shorter redhead continued to smirk. "I really am just a butler," he replied, "one hell of a butler to be precise."

"Is that so?" Pein said grinning now. He could definitely handle one measly butler. "Well the Mr. Butler," he continued, rushing over to the still bound and bruised boy, putting him into a headlock while pointing his gun to Sasuke's head. "I'd hand that key over, if you even have it that is, or else…"

"Of course I have it," Gaara replied, pulling out a small envelope from inside his tailcoat pocket. Upon sight of the envelope, shots ran out from behind one of the office's larger paintings, hitting the butler square in the chest. The shorter red haired man was flung backwards and landed flat on his back.

Pein let out a victorious laugh. "Sorry old boy," he sneered, "but did you really think I'd be stupid enough to go against an Uchiha without a few insurances in place?" He then turned to his prisoner, toying with the boy's eye patch, causing the bit of fabric to fall to the floor and making the raven haired fourteen year old to shut is eyes tightly – no one was to find out about the young lord's greatest secret that was hidden within his right eye.

"You're a bit dirty, but I know a few people who'd still pay a hefty price for a prize like you."

"Really," huffed Sasuke, "You're always going on about your precious schedule. Just how long do you plan on playing dead? Get up at once!"

"Yes, young master,' came the butler's voice as the supposed to be dead servant started to rise and stand up.

"What the?"

The henchmen that had started to crowd Gaara while he'd been lying down immediately backed away at the man's sly smile. "Weapons from the Land of Iron have improved I see," the redheaded butler remarked before coughing up the bullets that had struck him. "So many bullets. Permit me to return them to you."

"Kill him!" ordered the Akatsuki leader.

Pein's men hesitated, giving Gaara the chance – not that he didn't need one – to run to the other side of the room and lug the bits of metal at them. As with the plates and silverware, each bullet hit its mark, killing the men instantaneously.

"Just look at my coat," groaned the Uchiha butler, "it's ruined."

"Hn. You should have avoided that," quipped the boy, smirking at his servant's coat which now resembled a mass of bloody Swiss cheese, "You're better than that."

"And just look at you bocchan. Such dreadful hospitality they have here," Gaara approaching the yakuza head.

"S-Stay back!" Pein pleaded, once again threatening to blow the boy's brains out.

"With you all tied up like that, you look like a helpless little child. Then again, you are only fourteen."

"Shut up Gaara! Just hurry it up here. I don't I'll be able to stand the stench of cheap cologne for much longer."

"But, young master, he may kill you if I were to come any closer," the butler said stopping a mere one and a half feet away.

"Are you deliberately trying to break our pact?" snarled Sasuke.

"Of course not master. I have every intention of remaining your most faithful servant."

"Just what the hell are you two talking about?" Pein demanded, his gun hand shaking tremendously.

"You know what you must do, young master."

Sasuke scowled, but acquiesced. "Gaara, I command you to save me this instant!" he yelled, opening both of his eyes. His formerly covered right eye flared and became a swirling mass of red and black.

Pein let out a desperate yell and fired his pistol. However, when he turned to face his victim, Sasuke was completely unharmed. "I-Impossible!" shouted the frantic yakuza boss, "I know I couldn't miss at this range!"

"Looking for this?" Gaara said, holding up the bullet that would have fractured his master's skull. He then smirked as he placed it neatly into Pein's breast pocket before twisting the man's arm that was still holding onto his young charge. Pein had been reduced to a whimpering and crumpled heap as Gaara then moved onto to the taller redhead's legs.

The Uchiha butler scooped his master into his arms and started walking away. "It wasn't as fun a game as I thought it'd be," the raven haired boy said, unconsciously leaning into the slightly taller man's touch. Gaara stiffened for a moment at the boy's behavior. Sasuke would usually shy away from any and all touch if he could due to what he'd gone through two years ago. The butler however, passed it off as exhaustion and carefully placed his lord onto one of the more comfortable chairs, intent on removing the boy's bonds.

"W-Wait!" called Pein as he struggled to sit up. "Come work for me! I'll pay you ten times what he's giving you. If you'll be my bodyguard you can have all the women and money you want!"

"Tempting offer, Nagato-san," the shorter redhead replied as he continued to work on the tricky wire. "But I have no need for such rubbish." He then turned to face the cringing man, having finally gotten the last bit of rope and wire off his master. Once again Gaara's eyes were a frightening black and gold. "I am and always will be one hell of a butler," he said smirking devilishly.

"N-No, it can't be! Y-You're a…" Pein stammered, realizing just what exactly it was that he'd been messing with.

Gaara continued to smirk as feathers of darkest black started to swirl about the butler while equally deep shadows filled the room. "As long as my lord has the mark of the pact," came Gaara's voice from he shadows, "I shall be his loyal servant. I am bound to Lord Uchiha by a sacrifice, a wish and…"

There was a rustling of cloth as the butler strode toward Pein, an eerie light making him visible to the Akatsuki head. "This," the shorter redhead continued, holding up his left hand. On it were two circles, the outer one of thorns. Ancient runes stood between the two circles while within the inner one were two triangles, forming a type of hourglass. Superimposed onto the hourglass was the Japanese symbol for love. We are bound by all this until the time I feast on his soul."

"To bad for you," Sasuke chimed from where he still sat, knowing full well what was coming, "It's game over for you."

The man's screams could be heard form clear across Konoha town, but none came to Pein's aid. Either they were too scared to fetch the police or too wrapped up in themselves, believing someone else would send for help.

Gaara carefully carried his young lord up the driveway. Sasuke let out a frightened gasp, the setting sun had caused the manor to appear as if it had been set ablaze. Painful memories, ones he constantly wished he'd never had, leapt to the forefront of the boy's mind.

"Awake are we?" the butler queried. Sasuke relaxed once he heard the demon's voice, realizing he was no longer in **that **place, **that** time. He was safe, at home where he belonged, even if two very important people would never walk these halls again.

"Welcome home, master!" Kiba called, running up to them like a puppy would its owner.

"Y-Yes, welcome home," beamed Hinata.

"Master Sasuke what happened? You're hurt!" exclaimed the gardener, noticing the boy's bruised face and split lip.

"I tripped and fell, so don't start fussing over it," the fourteen year old lord replied. "Don't you believe what your employer tells you?" he asked when the two servants continued to stare at him and Gaara.

"O-O-Of course we do!" the maid stammered, blushing as she always did whenever in the demon butler's presence. "It-it's j-just t-that…"

"You look like a baby being held by its father," Kiba finished for her.

"Put. Me. Down. **Now**!" Sasuke ground out through clenched teeth. Gaara allowed himself to be amused for a few more seconds before obeying his young lord's order and gingerly setting the boy on his feet. "For crying out loud you two! Stop staring at me like that!" the master of the Uchiha clan ordered, blushing like the tomatoes he so loved at being caught in such an unseemly situation. He was going to berate them further when Gaara interrupted him.

"My apologies, bocchan," he said, getting down on one knee and placing his hand over his heart. "I have made a most grievous mistake for a butler of the Uchiha clan. I could never possibly atone for this. "I have yet begun to prepare your dinner."

~TBC~


	3. Chapter 3

Kuroshitsuji – Naruto Style

By Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Episode 3

The chestnut haired butler frantically chased after the runaway cart as it sped through the Uchiha manor. The effeminate looking man managed to grab hold of it, but only to give it more momentum and cause it to go faster. The cart crashed into the dining hall doors, but the heavy wood planks did not halt its progress one bit. Instead, the heavily laden cart forced its way past the doors and into the large room, stopping only after hitting the shaggy haired gardener. The tea pot, which was filled to the brim, slid off the cart and spilled onto Kiba's shirt.

"Ai-ai-ai," the brunet teen yelled, "Hot, hot, hot!"

"I'm really sorry!" said the clumsy butler, grabbing one of the napkins on the dining table, however in his haste, he snatched the table cloth as well. "Let me get that for you!" The table cloth slid off the table taking all of the young master's breakfast with it, which Sasuke had been in the middle of eating.

The raven haired boy gave the slightly taller brunet an angry glare before letting out an exasperated sigh. "Why'd you even bother to let that baka stay for, un?" the cook, Deidara, whispered. "He's completely useless, un!"

"And you're not?" the Uchiha lord shot back. There had been more times than he had fingers and toes when the tall blond blew up the manor's kitchen. "Though I didn't think it'd be this bad," he added as he remembered his favorite aunt's request.

Flsahsback

"_Sasuke sweetie," Aunt Kushina began, "I have a teeny weeny problem. You see, Naruto's totally inept. So could you have Gaara teach him or something? Would you do that for your dear Auntie, pwetty pwease?"_

End of Flashback

The fourteen year old sighed again. "I really thought that Gaara'd be the only one who'd be inconvenienced, not the whole household," Sasuke continued, turning his attention back to the now totally ashamed brunet, the other servants giving Naruto angry glares of their own.

"I'm… I'm really sorry everyone, believe it!" apologized Naruto, subconsciously picking up on his mistress' favorite catch phrase and bowing low as he could. "I really don't know what I can do to make it up to you. I really don't!" He sat miserably on the plush carpeting, trying his hardest to think of something, **anything**, to make up for his ineptitude. "I know I'm not that bright and I **always** screw up. Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a butler."

He then brought out a dinner knife and pointed the blade towards his throat. "Maybe it's just best if I died!" the brunet cried, "That way I'll never be in anyone's way again!"

"O-Oi! Just hold on there, un!" Deidara yelled in utter shock. True Naruto was the **worst butler ever**, but that didn't mean he had to kill himself for making a mess of the master's meal.

"Naruto," Gaara said, placing one gloved hand on the chestnut haired butler's shoulder and giving him a slight smile in amusement, "You don't need to do that."

"G-Gaara…" Naruto said awestruck at the redhead's kind words and gesture. Such an occurrence was rare where he was from for there was always someone yelling at and scolding him.

"You'd make an even bigger mess don't you think? It would take forever to get the blood and food stains out."

"Y-You're so right, Gaara!" the brunet beamed, his depression fading rapidly. "You're such a nice guy!"

"Gaara…" started the cook.

"Nice?" finished Kiba, shaking his head in confusion along with his fellow servants.

"Don't tell me," Gaara started picking up the teapot and examining what was left of the contents. "you intended to give Master Sasuke such inferior tea." The demonic butler then began giving the instructions on properly brewing tea, which Deidara, Kiba and Hinata were vigorously writing down, while making another pot of tea. Naruto, however, wasn't really paying attention to what was being said, for he was so much in awe of the Uchiha lord's butler. Gaara always seemed to exude an aura of completely confident elegance in everything he did. Oh how the black and orange clad brunet wished he could be more like him.

"Oh yes," the redheaded butler said, remembering a very important task his master needed to see to personally. "It is almost time, bocchan. The carriage should be at the front by now."

"Hn," the raven haired boy said, taking a quick sip of the freshly made tea. "Whatever."

"As for the rest of you," the demon butler said turning to the servants. "This place had better be spotless when I get back. Why don't you just sit there and relax Naruto," he continued, noticing that the other butler hadn't moved from his spot on the floor. "You'll cause less trouble that way. Or if you're still intent on committing suicide," he added as an afterthought, smirking devilishly. "Please do it outside and try not to make a huge mess."

"Gee Gaara! You're the best!" Naruto said bouncing happily in an enormous effort not to glomp the slightly taller redhead.

"Get yer papah here!" the newsboy called as the young nobleman and his butler entered the cane maker's. "Prostitute mysteriously murdered!"

"Well, hello there, young man," the old shopkeeper said upon noticing he had a customer. "Running an errand for you father are we?"

"No actually, the redheaded butler replied, handing a slip of paper to the older man. "My master is here on his own business. We were informed that that particular order has arrived.

The shopkeeper adjusted his glasses before looking at the paper. "So you're the one who requested that," he said grabbing a can that had been lying nearby and used it to hook onto a drawer and pull it open. He then carefully lifted out the expertly crafted stick and handed to the red haired man. "I was wondering who'd want such a short stick. To think that a mere child…"

He was abruptly cut off by the child's sized cane's end being pointed directly between his eyes. "Excellent craftsmanship," Gaara said looking down the length of the walking stick, "Not a single bend or warp anywhere." The butler placed a large pouch of coins on the counter before lowering the child's cane and exiting the shop with his young lord. "Keep the change," he called as they strode through the door.

The poor man, however, heard none of it, still in shock at what had just happened. AS soon as the door shut, he fainted.

"What a pain," griped Sasuke as he and Gaara started down the shop lined street to where they left the carriage. "How anyone could break a walking stick is beyond me. That freakish strength of Kiba's is such a nuisance."

"Yes," the taller man replied with a smirk, "What a shame you had to go through all that fuss. You haven't grown an inch in all these years." The boy glared at him, but the demon ignored it, used to his master's indignation at cracks and comments about his size and age. Sasuke really did despise being short for his age – even that useless imbecile Naruto was unusually short for his own age but he was taller than Sasuke!

"We shouldn't tarry too long, bocchan," Gaara remarked, "I am still uncertain it's wise to leave Naruto by himself or if he is going to work out at all."

The Uchiha lord silently nodded to show he'd been listening as he watched a young boy similar to his age and station fuss over the toys displayed in a shop window to his doting mother. A tiny, almost imperceptible, wistful smile came to Sasuke's face as he recalled doing the same with his own mother, the now late Lady Mikoto. The smile grew upon seeing that the toys were those from his company's latest line. Naturally, **his** toys would be the ones to bring the biggest smiles to children's faces.

"The Fan-Fan Toy Company?" Naruto asked as he happily started clipping away at the hedges with a large pair of shears. "They're that company who makes toys and candy right? They've really grown the past three years. I bet Master Sasuke's got such an awesome mansion because the company's doing so well don't you think?" he asked the cook who was lounging on the grass nearby.

"Actually, the place's been around for two years, un," replied Deidara.

"Really? It looks like it's been around for years, but not the creepy, scary, over grown kinda for years, but the lived in, well kept kind."

"Of course it would," Asuma said from behind the chestnut haired butler, startling him. "That was the young master's intention. It was built to his exact specifications as a complete duplicate of the last Uchiha manor. Right down to the cracks in the pillars and squeaks in the floor boards.

"What do you mean duplicate, Asuma-san?" queried the brunet.

"The old Uchiha manor was completely destroyed in a fire three years ago. It was an enormous loss for those of us who've been living and working there."

"Gee, that's too bad. But what about the kid's… I mean Master Sasuke's parents? Don't tell me they…"

"I must press upon you not to repeat what I'm about to say to anyone," the former Uchiha steward said solemnly.

"I won't tell a soul!" Naruto vowed, pausing in his pruning.

"Even though the public has been told that the young master's parents perished in the blaze; that is not exactly the case. The late Lord and Lady Uchiha were murdered and then those who did it set the manor to burn to cover up the deed."

"That poor kid!" Naruto cried, wiping furiously at his eyes. He himself may not remember his own parents – they had died such a long time ago – but he could sympathize with the young lord. "He's got to be missing them something fierce. D-Does he know… what happened to them?"

Before the older man could reply, Hinata who'd been enjoying a nice lunch break with Deidara and Kiba gave a shriek. Both Asuma and Naruto turned to ask her what was the matter. The violet haired maid frantically pointed behind the orange and black clad butler with a trembling hand.

The butler whirled around to see that the hedge he'd been working on was now in the shape of a skull. In fact, **all **the hedges he'd done previously were skulls! But that wasn't the full extent of the damage. Every single plant that Naruto had pruned – which was practically the entire garden – was in the same shape. Everywhere they looked, there were green grinning skulls! The once lovely and elegant Uchiha garden had taken on a rather morbid feel thanks to the brunet's absentmindedness.

"That sure is a lot of skulls," Kiba said, pointing out the obvious.

"Oh no! Not again!" bemoaned the black and orange clad man. Naruto ran to the nearest tree and immediately attempted to hang himself as an apology. The three servants rushed to stop him.

However, before they could, a pair of hands yanked the ladder from under the brunet, causing the noose around his neck to tighten. Hinata fainted while Deidara and Kiba gave out a pair of loud gasps. It was thanks to the gardener's tremendous strength that Naruto was saved, just as he was beginning to turn blue.

"You must be tired, young master," Gaara said, approaching the manor's front doors. "Tea will be ready shortly."

Sasuke gave a shriek upon entering the front hall. Hundred's of multicolored streamers hung everywhere from the ceiling and upper railings. Every single object had a frilly pink bow attached to it – even the bloody doorknobs! There were also hundreds of cutesy stuffed animals littered the place along with other hideously girlish things. The entire interior of the Uchiha mansion looked like a dentist's dream come true with all the sugary sweet décor. But to the master of the house, it was his worst nightmare next to the ordeal of three years prior. The raven haired boy could feel a vein threatening to burst in his forehead.

"Just what happened in here?" the redheaded butler asked, his shock and disgust equal to his master's. His teal eyes narrowed dangerously. If a certain brunet idiot was responsible for this, Naruto would most certainly get his wish to die, however, it'd be **very **slow and **very, oh so very **painful.

"Gaara-sama!" Sasuke's three bumbling servants cried, running into the hall and clutching onto the redheaded butler for dear life. Poor Kiba was wearing a pair of rabbit ears while Deidara had a bib and baby bonnet. Hinata had apparently escaped the current lunacy that latched itself to the Uchiha household.

"Why are you dressed like that?" demanded the demonic butler.

"She's nuts I tell you, un!" answered the cook.

"A total nutcase!" added the gardener.

"Who's a nutcase?" parroted Sasuke, trying his hardest to avert his eyes from all the horrid cuteness and pink. The frantic servants could only point toward an open door. Scowling, the master of Uchiha manor, stormed over to the door and shoved it further inward. The room inside, which happened to be the salon, had been given the same treatment as the main hall. However, he didn't have the time to be outraged for upon entering, the sight of Naruto hanging from the ceiling with a rope around his neck and a bright orange young girl's bonnet on his head.

"Just what do you think you're doing, dobe?" the young lord demanded.

"Dying of shame, Master Sasuke, believe it!" replied the mortified butler.

"Gaara."

"Right away sir." The demon then promptly cut the other butler from the ceiling.

Suddenly there was a very high pitched squeal and a pink blur sped past the redhead. "Saaaaasuke-kuuuuuuun!" the blur cried as it latched itself onto the boy. "I've missed you sooooo much!"

"S-Sakura. I should have known," the fourteen year old said as he tried to worm his way out of the pink haired girl's death grip.

"How many times have I told you to call me Saku-chan!" chided the girl, still refusing to let him go. "Oh, you're as handsome as ever!" she continued to gush, "I just go weak in the knees looking at you!"

"Lady Sakura," interrupted Gaara, keeping a firm grip on the back of Naruto's waist coat.

The pink haired bubble head that had presently invaded Sasuke's home, finally released the fourteen year old lord to give the butler a polite curtsy. "Hello Gaara," she said warmly totally oblivious to the man's loathing of her and her inconsiderate actions of showing up uninvited and unwanted. "You're looking well. Oh, why'd you take him down?" she whined.

"He was clashing with your excellent décor too much, my lady," the demon replied, with a mock smile.

"Hmm. Maybe you're right, but still doesn't it look lovely? Right Antoinette?" They all turned to see who she was talking to and saw Asuma sitting comfortably on one of the salon's couches, a bright yellow wig of curls upon his head. "Oh I almost forgot! This is for you, Gaara!"

The pink haired menace of the current Uchiha clan head promptly placed a frilly bonnet of bright pink with white and yellow flowers and matching ribbon upon the red haired butler's head before he could even blink. "You're always wearing that ugly old red all the time so that'll be a nice change for one," she added, approving her handiwork, once the ribbon had been properly tied under his chin.

"How kind of you to go through so much trouble for a lowly servant," Gaara said, pouring on the charm as thickly as he could. Inside, however, he was secretly plotting the vapid girl's torturous demise and longed for his master to give the order, which he would fulfill wholeheartedly. "You are much too kind, my lady."

"Glad to see you like it," beamed the air-headed female.

"Why are you here, Sakura?" Sasuke demanded, "Aunt Tsubaki couldn't have let you come alone."

"I know," she said giggling mischievously, "I snuck out, 'cause I wanted to see you." She then immediately re-attached herself onto the boy, much like a leech.

"Hey Gaara," Naruto whispered, "Just who is that crazy brat?"

"That 'crazy brat' is Lady Sakura Haruno and you will refer to her as such," the demonic butler warned. He may not like the idiotic female, but he did believe in proper etiquette no matter how someone irked you. "She is the young master's fiancée."

"H-His fiancée?" the shorter butler and Uchiha servants cried in unison, "**HER**?"

"What would you expect?" Gaara chided, "She is the daughter of a noble just as my lord is the son of nobles. It is common practice that nobles marry other nobles. Especially if they wish to avoid the scandal of being seen with someone of a more vulgar class."

"Ne, Sasuke-kun," squealed Sakura, "Since we've got the dreary old mansion prettied up, why not throw a ball to celebrate?"

The raven haired boy blanched at that. He hated balls with an undying passion. Not lonely did he think them to be useless and frivolous wastes of time and money, but the main and most important reason why he loathed balls so much was – he couldn't dance if his life and very soul depended on it.

"Oh! It'll be so much fun!" the pinkette went on squealing, usually oblivious to her cousin and fiancé's discomfort. "We'll dance **all **night long! You'll be my escort and of course you'll wear the outfit I picked. Oh! It'll be sooooooo good on you!"

"J-Just a minute, Sakura!" protested the raven haired lord, fighting against the urge to personally throw the squealing female out.

"You're coming with me!" Sakura said, grabbing hold of what was left of the rope around Naruto's neck and dragged him out of the salon. "I haven't finished with your makeover." The poor brunet butler choked and gasped for air as he was pulled through the mansion.

"Great," Sasuke grumbled, "She never listens to a thing I have to say."

"Bocchan," Gaara said, cutting the tomato sandwiches into fours. "It'd be best to just do what Lady Sakura wants."

"Just give her tea or something then get her out of here," the fourteen year old grumbled from behind his study desk, his head pressed against the cool polished surface.

"I'm afraid not," the redhead replied, serving the sandwiches. "You know as well as I do, that she'll never listen to reason."

"I know that Gaara!" he snapped. "But we don't have time to deal with her nonsense."

"Be as that may," Gaara said, pouring the tea – a plain Japanese green blend this time, "But you really can't refuse Lady Sakura all the time. You'll have to dance with her eventually. Maybe not here, but at some other soiree or your wedding perhaps."

Sasuke blanched once more at the mention of his still far off wedding day to that annoying pink haired harridan. "What?" the boy asked a few moments later upon feeling the demon's stare on him.

"Tell me master," Gaara queried, "Why is it that I've never seen you dance? Surely you must know how to by now." Sasuke refused to answer his butler; instead he began to go over the various business correspondences. "So that's how it is," the taller redhead sated, smirking slightly at the teen's obvious embarrassment. "You don't know how."

"Hn," snorted Sasuke, "I've got a company to run, plus there's the Hokage's work as well. I just don't have the time to waste on stupid parties."

Being the fastidious demon that he was, Gaara wasn't going to allow his master to shame himself, the Uchiha family name or his reputation as an Uchiha butler. He marched over to the desk and snatched the stack of papers out of the boy's hands then snatched away his favorite tomato sandwiches.

The young lord as about to protest and demand the man to return his snack at once, but Gaara didn't give him the chance. "Young master," he scolded, "Parties and other social gatherings are just as important as your work. In fact, they're vital for obtaining and keeping contact with business associates and other members of society." Sasuke desperately tried to grab at the food, but the butler kept it just out of reach of his child sized arms. "Noblemen, no, every gentleman **must** have at the very least some basic dancing skills. If you keep refusing invitations like you do, the Uchiha family reputation will suffer greatly."

"Hn. Fine," Sasuke grumbled, still eying the sandwiches. "I'll let her have her stupid ball. Now go find me a teacher, Kurenai-sensei or Shizune-sensei will do."

"We don't have the time, bocchan," Gaara said, replacing the food back in front of the boy. "But if you'd let me," the demon continued smiling mischievously, "I could teach you."

"Out of the question!" the fourteen-year-old protested, "There's no way I'm letting a man teach me. Besides, do **you** even know how?"

"I've been told the waltz is my best dance," replied the demonic butler rather smugly, "And of course, I've been a guest at many palaces from time to time, especially the Wind daimyo's." Sasuke stared at the redheaded demon servant in shock. Sure he'd known that Gaara had had many contracts before him, but to have been invited to royal balls and such, that was certainly **not** what he'd expected to hear.

"Shall we start then?" the demonic butler said once Sasuke had finished his snack and stood before the taller butler. "You'll be leading of course, so be sure to start on your heel. Also make sure you have your hand on the lady's back, like this." Gaara grabbed Sasuke's right hand and placed it at the demon's hip, guiding it as far around his waist it could go. He then took hold of the blushing boy's left hand with his right and placed his free hand upon Sasuke's shoulder. "We don't have any music at the moment, so for now, just count to yourself – one, two, three… one, two, three."

The two attempted to dance across the study floor, Sasuke stepping on the demon's feet every few steps or so. It went on for a few more beats then the butler let out a disappointed sigh upon having the boy trip and cling to him. "I should have known you'd have **no **skills whatsoever," he remarked, "Bocchan, you simply most not cling onto your partner like that."

Sasuke jumped back, blushing profusely before sputtering out a hasty "You're too tall!"

"But what's more important," Gaara said, ignoring his master's protest, "You've got to wipe that depressing look off your face," he scolded, grabbing hold of the fourteen-year-old's cheeks and tried to get his young charge to smile. "The ladies will be insulted if you don't smile. If you must, then pretend it's fun."

The shorter brunet growled and lashed out at the demon, punching him squarely in the jaw as well as slapping his hands away. "Leave me alone!" he yelled. Gaara had a totally shocked look on his face. Sure his master has struck him on several occasions before over the past three years, but not to such intensity as this.

"Bocchan…" Gaara tried, barely managing to hide the shock and hurt; he'd only been teasing him in fun after all.

"It's impossible for me to smile," Sasuke said turning away, "I've forgotten how, so I can't even pretend to have fun if I wanted," he added, toying with the blue stoned ring he always wore since that day, "Not now, not ever."

The demon looked at the young charge with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Please kill me now," moaned the brunet as he stood before the mirror. Reflected back at him was a girl in a pale blue party dress. A matching ribbon was tied snuggly around her neck while her spiky chestnut brown hair was adorned with a light blue bow with pink roses. Poor Naruto had never been so humiliated.

Deidara laid a sympathetic hand on the brunet's shoulder. "Might as well grin and bear it, un," he said morosely. The Uchiha chef was feeling his own desire for death. His beautiful – to him at least – blond hair had been dyed bright orange and curled. He had been forced into a girl's sailor style school uniform that was white with neon pink trimming. In fact, he and Naruto weren't the only ones made to wear ridiculous outfits for Lady Sakura's 'ball.'

Poor Kiba was wearing a French maid's outfit with cat ears, tail, and paws. The former Uchiha steward, Asuma, was dressed like a daimyo's wife or daughter. The only one to be safe from the madness was Hinata for the pink haired lunatic of a girl deemed the Uchiha maid already cute enough as it was.

"Really! If I've gotta wear a stupid dress," complained the inept butler, "Why can't it be a hot little orange number?"

"That's why ya wanna die?" growled Kiba in disbelief.

"Yeah! It's too damned girly, believe it! And this color's so washed out it's almost white! There's no way I'm wearing this wedding dress! That's it! I'm leaving right now! Goodbye cruel world!"

The mortified butler dashed over to one of the upper windows in the main hall and opened it. He planted one foot on his sill and prepared to plunge himself to his doom. "Y-You're not gonna stop me?" he asked the other men. Asuma, Kiba, and Deidara just stared at him, waiting for the drama queen of a brunet to finish his little performance.

Meanwhile, the source of all their suffering was admiring herself in front of another hall mirror as Hinata helped her with the final touches on her red ball gown and hair. "Blue is sooo Sasuke's color!" Sakura squealed, "I can't wait to see him in that outfit tonight. He'll look sooooo handsome! Now about those ridiculous glasses of yours."

The pink haired nightmare that was Sasuke Uchiha's fiancée, turned to face the maid. The violet haired girl started to back away. "I-I-I'm sorry, my lady, but I-I-I-I n-n-need these g-g-glasses t-to see," she stammered. Not only did the Uchiha maid need those thick lensed spectacles, they were a **very** precious gift from her dear employer. They were the first gift she'd ever gotten in all her life and wouldn't part with them for all the world.

"Nonsense!" protested Sakura, "You don't need silly old glasses to see when you're having fun at a ball! Now give me them!" the vapid noble advanced on her and made several attempts to grab at Hinata's glasses only to force the maid up against a wall. She smirked, seeing she had her prey trapped and made to grab at her girl's glasses again.

"Sakura," Sasuke said from atop of the stairs. He was dressed in a royal blue child's suit with a darker blue waistcoat underneath the jacket. A red rose had been placed in one of the button holes for a bit of effect and contrast. "That's enough. Leave Hinata be."

"Saaaaaaasuke-kuuuuuuuuun!" squealed the pink haired monster as Sakura rushed over to her intended and began to whirl him around. "You look so sooooooo handsome! I knew that outfit would be absolutely perfect for you!" she spun the Uchiha lord around a few more times before finally noticing something wasn't quite right with what the fourteen-year-old was wearing.

"Sasuke," she said icily, her spring green eyes narrowing dangerously, "Where's the ring I got to go with the outfit?"

"Why should it matter?" he quipped, "The ring I have on matches doesn't it?" True enough, the stone in the ring on his index finger was the exact same shade of blue as his suit.

"No. It. **Doesn't**!" she screamed, then started bawling and going off into a tirade of how much trouble it was for her to find the perfect man's accessory and how he was being a cruel, cruel person for refusing such a glamorous and special gift.

"Look Sakura," Sasuke began in an attempt to diffuse the rapidly deteriorating situation, "About this ring, it's…"

He never got to finish what it was he wanted to explain for his pink haired fiancée whirled on him and rushed at him, all smiles now. "Fooled you!" she jeered, knocking the boy down onto the steps then snatched the ring right off his finger. "Hmph. this one's so hideous and it's way too big for you. Now you'll have to wear my ring. Besides it'll fit you much better anyway."

"Give that back!" the head of the Uchiha clan commanded. His tone of voice was so full of barely veiled anger that everyone except for Sakura and Gaara let out gasps of utter shock. None of them had ever seen the young lord so distraught especially over something so trivial as a ring. "Give me the ring _**now**__, _Sakura." He held out his hand toward the girl, his coal black eye glaring at her with an aura of sheer anger and annoyance.

"S-Sasuke-kun…" she stuttered, looking away from her fiancé's angry form. "Y-You don't have to be so angry. It's just a stupid ring! In fact, I hate this ugly thing! You can have your stupid ring then!" She then raised her hand over her head and flung the ring at the raven haired boy's feet with all her might, causing it to smash to bits upon hitting the tiled floor.

The fourteen-year-old's eye widened in sheer and utter fury. He charged at his cousin and fiancée, hand raised in readiness to slap the vapid girl silly. Just as he was about to strike the now whimpering and cringing girl, his wrist was grabbed, thus preventing any further bad blood between the two.

Sasuke whirled, ready to strike at whoever dared to get in his way. Before him stood Gaara, a reproachful look upon the redheaded butler's face. "Bocchan," he said, in a voice that belied his displeasure. "Don't forget the walking stick we had so much trouble getting." He then placed the cane into both of the boy's hands, making sure he wouldn't use it as a club.

"While Sasuke was desperately trying to calm himself down and catch his breath, the demon butler stepped between him and the sobbing Sakura, further protecting both children – Sasuke from himself and the pinkette from her cousin's wrath.

"You must forgive my lord, Lady Sakura," Gaara said bowing, "But that ring was extremely precious to him. It was a family heirloom that has been worn by the Uchiha clan head for generations; a one of a kind item. That is why he got so angry."

"I-I never knew," sniffled the girl, "that it was so important to him. And now… and now I've totally destroyed it."

Sasuke picked up the broken shards and calmly walked past her. "S-Sasuke-kun, I…" The boy ignored her, instead he chucked the fragments as far out the open window that Naruto had forgotten to close. Once again, those gathered gasped in shock at the fourteen-year-old's actions.

"Why did you do that for?" asked Sakura, rushing over to him, but it was too late, the shattered ring was nowhere in sight on the grounds below.

"Doesn't matter," Sasuke said coldly. "It was only an old piece of junk. Whether or not I wore that ring or not," he went on, turning to face his servants, "I am still the head of the Uchiha clan. That is one thing that will **never** change." Gaara couldn't help but stare at his master in awe. No matter how long he'd been living, humans always seemed to find a way to surprise the demon.

"Sakura," the young lord said going over to his once again sobbing fiancée. "Are you planning on crying all night?"

"G-G-Gomen," she managed to squeeze out.

"You're a mess," he said taking out a handkerchief and began to wipe at the prominent tear streaks running down her cheeks. "And you call yourself a lady. I don't dance with ladies who have snot all over their faces and red, puffy, eyes."

"D-Dance?" she sniffled again, "Y-You still want too…"

Just then, the red haired demon appeared at the main hall's landing and started playing a lively waltz on a viola he'd apparently snuck off to fetch.

"S-Sugoi yo!" cried Hinata, awed by the Uchiha butler's amazing repertoire of skills.

"What can't he do?" Kiba huffed, jealous that he had only two talents, albeit not very useful ones, abnormal, inhuman strength and an affinity for animals.

"Hey let me help!" Naruto cried and rushed over to stand next to the redhead, making sure not to trip over his dress. Once in place, he began singing a wordless tune that matched the demon's melody perfectly. Gaara lifted one non-existent eyebrow in amazement, not even once pausing or skipping a single beat. An almost imperceptible smile crept onto the taller butler's face, pleased that the normally useless and inept brunet hadn't missed a single beat. Yes, indeed humans were surprising creatures.

"T-The idiot can sing, un?" cried a flabbergasted Deidara.

Now that the two cousins had successfully made up, they agreed to forget the whole ordeal over the ring and danced the evening away, the Uchiha servants joining in the revelry.

"Don't worry, I'll get her home," Naruto said as Deidara laid a sleeping Sakura into Aunt Kushina's carriage.

"You sure?" Gaara asked, not to sure about leaving his master's betrothed with such an inept and overly dramatic fool of a butler.

"Yep. I may not look it most of the time, but I can be deadly efficient, believe it! I've gotta thank you, Gaara. I've learnt a lot about being a butler!" He grabbed the red haired man in a bear hug before placing a quick peck on the demon's cheek, causing the slightly taller butler to clear his throat in embarrassment. "Ya know," the brunet continued, "people say that when you're about to die, your whole life flashes before you. Well, when that happens to me – don't worry I'm not about to kill myself this time – I'm gonna make sure that I remember the time I spent here today or your kindness to me, Gaara."

"Funny that," the demonic butler quipped, eyeing the now peppy brunet butler with suspicion. Something was currently off with the man, though Gaara wasn't able to figure out what exactly it was. "you'd be the one to say something like that."

"Y-Y-Yes," piped Hinata, "N-N-Naruto-san w-w-wasn't very g-god at d-dying w-was he?" Asuma agreed with her buy giving a chuckle. The spiky haired man gave a sheepish chuckle of his own before hopping onto the driver's seat and waved as he started down the driveway.

"What a pain it's been," Sasuke said as Gaara helped him prepare for bed. "I'm glad that's done and over with."

"You did appear to be having fun, though, bocchan," remarked the butler.

"Don't," snapped the boy, "It's not like you to play the fool, Gaara."

"Oh? Are you so sure about that?" he retorted, "I know how much that ring meant to you. Yet you still threw it away and put on that little act for her ladyship."

Sasuke let out a gasp as he felt something being placed on his index finger. Glancing down, he saw a blue stoned ring – the very ring he had so vehemently discarded. It was now completely whole again as if the day's events had never occurred at all. He stared at the demon in undisguised awe and gratitude.

Gaara couldn't help the Cheshire grin that appeared on his face. "Now bocchan," he said, "did you really think a butler of my caliber to be incapable of doing such a simple task as repairing a ring for my master? How foolish of you. You really need to treat it better; it's seen so much these many years."

"You're right," the fourteen-year-old agreed, "It's seen the death of many an Uchiha. My grandfather, my father, and one day it will be witness to my own end. It's heard each and every single dying scream of the Uchiha clan. Even now, when I close my eyes, I can hear them as well. That's why I threw it away. I thought if I did that, the screaming would stop. You're right Gaara, you're not the fool here. I am."

Once again, the demonic butler gazed at his young change with an unreadable expression on his face. "It's getting late, sir," he said a few moments later as he tucked the boy in, "You should sleep, bocchan, not unless you wish to make yourself ill. Oyasumi nasai, my lord." He then picked up the candelabra and began to make his way to the master bedroom's door.

"Gaara," Sasuke called from the bed, lying on his side now, "Stay. Until I'm asleep at least."

The redheaded demon paused before the door. "Showing weakness before me now are we?" he teased.

"It's an order," the boy replied.

Gaara returned to the bedside, placing the candelabra back in its proper spot on the night stand. "As you wish, master," he said, kneeling down at the boy's side, "I shall ever be at your side, bocchan, to the very end."

Sasuke said nothing as he rolled over onto his other side, a tiny relieved smile upon his face.

~TBC~

Happy Halloween everyone! Hope you enjoyed the festivities here at the Uchiha manor! As always feedback is encouraged! Till next time, jya ne!


	4. Chapter 4

Kuroshitsuji – Naruto Style

By Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Episode 4

"I can't stand this," the raven haired fourteen-year-old grumbled as his slightly taller demon butler opened the front door to the Uchiha heir's town house located in the immediate suburbs of Konohagakure. "Konoha has too many people."

"Be as that may, my lord," Gaara replied, "you know full well that it's tradition for nobles to spend the summer in the city."

"Stupid waste of time," the boy quipped as they began moving through the large house.

"Still, getting away from the manor is a nice change for once," the demon continued, "We'll be away from _those four_ at the very least." 'Those four' being the extremely inept Uchiha servants – Kiba, Deidara, and Hinata plus the semi retired steward Asuma. "Just think of the peace and quiet we'll be able to have."

"That does sound nice," Sasuke said, stopping in front of the upstairs drawing room. Gaara, being the superb butler that he prided himself to be immediately opened the expertly polished double doors.

Black and teal eyes narrowed in disgust and annoyance at the sight before them. The drawing room was a mess. Items were strewn about everywhere along with several of the young master's china.

"Now where the bloody hell do they keep the tea?" the culprit – Sasuke's aunt Kushina – pondered as she began to rummage through the secretary desk against one wall. As usual, the red headed woman was dressed head to foot in bright scarlet.

Crouched on the floor in a corner at the opposite side of the room and looking into a Ming vase was Lee. Naruto, Lady Kushina's inept butler was on the floor as well, looking underneath the sofa. "I must apologize Madam," the Chinese teen said forlornly, "I can't seem to locate any tea anywhere."

"Don't be so silly!" Kushina giggled, glancing toward her companion, "Of course they wouldn't keep tea in _that_! Believe it!" She gave an exasperated shout and tossed an empty inkwell from the desk after checking it.

"Auntie? Lee? Just what are you doing here?" demanded the Uchiha lord, annoyed that the promise of peace and quiet had been shattered.

"Oh! You're here early Sasuke sweetie!" the woman squealed before rushing to give her nephew a crushing bear hug. Sasuke briefly struggled, but stoically endured his aunt's enthusiastic affection.

"If you're here, then that means…" Lee began to think vigorously, trying to remember why the head of the Uchiha clan was in the city so late into the summer migration season.

"The Hokage's dog has new prey to hunt," Kushina supplied slyly. The fourteen-year-old said nothing, only glared at them with an unreadable expression on his face.

"There's been another brutal murder in the slums," Sasuke stated once they've all been seated and served the tea 'Madame Red' had been so desperately searching for. "Another whore. Normally, the Hokage would let the police handle this, but the level of brutality in these crimes is not normal nor is it like anything before."

"The latest victim was someone named Meimi Nishizawa," Gaara contributed, "It has been said that an unusual type of blade had been used. She'd been torn to pieces and was barely recognizable."

"Due to such horrific methods, the murderer has been given a nickname," the boy resumed, "'Kyuubi', or the 'nine-tailed fox', after the demon that had attacked Konoha during the time of the fourth Hokage."

"Quite a scary name," the redheaded woman muttered darkly. She, like every citizen of Fire Country knew the tales of the demon fox's supposed violent and cruel actions of so many years ago.

"Indeed," parroted Lee.

"That is why I'm here now," their host explained, "I rushed to Konoha so I could look into this personally."

"That is very admirable, youthful friend," the Chinese teen began, rising from his seat, "But are you sure you can handle such a gruesome crime scene?"

"Why do you ask?" the raven haired boy challenged.

"As your most knowledgeable butler stated moments ago, the poor woman was torn apart. And of course, there'd be the noisome(1) remains. Her blood and entrails splattered all over the place. I've heard tales of grown men going utterly mad at such terrible sights." Lee then crossed the distance between the two and placed one callused hand on the boy's cheek before going on. "I would hardly think one as young as you could…"

Sasuke glared at the taller teen, slapping the hand away, "I am the head of the Uchiha clan," he ground out through clenched teeth, "and in the Hokage's service. Stop being so stupid and asking doltish questions."

"Please forgive me," apologized Lee, "You are absolutely correct. I should not be doubting you, your lordship."

Iruka Umino stood in the archway leading to 'Kyuubi's' latest bloodbath, going over his stack of notes and making sure none of the more curious members of the gathering crowd attempted to get a better look and thus disturb any evidence at the scene. "Sorry young man," the plain clothed detective said upon noticing the raven haired boy followed by a redheaded butler approaching him. "This is no place for a child. Now why don't you run along?"

"I'm here to see the victim," Sasuke announced, glaring at the man authoritatively. He was getting rather perturbed at this latest obstacle to his investigation as well as the detective's obviously patronizing manner.

"Now look here son, I'm not quite sure you know what's going on here. Someone's been hurt very badly and…"

"Umino!" called a silver haired man as he approached from further past the archway, getting the detective's attention. Mizuki's eyes narrowed upon spying the boy standing imperiously before his subordinate. "So Lord Uchiha has decided to grace us with his presence has he?" the police commissioner said, barely managing to hide the sneering tone in his voice. "Just what are you doing here, boy?"

"Um… Sir Mizuki, you know this child?" Iruka inquired, stunned. How would the head of Fire Country's Leaf Guard know such a well dressed – and obviously high ranked – child?

"I'm here to help. Why else do you think I'm here?" shot the fourteen-year-old, ignoring the confused detective and produced a scroll with the Hokage's personal seal on it. Iruka's eyes bugged out upon recognizing the seal. Just who was this kid? "It seems certain parties believe you're taking too long."

The silver haired man gritted his teeth, but said nothing – he wasn't stupid enough to risk angering their ruler and thus losing his job or worse, his life. Sasuke then promptly snatched the stack of papers from the still dazed and confused Iruka who then began to sputter futilely.

"Still haven't found any useful clues yet, I see," the boy noted as he glanced through the case files, making sure Gaara could see them as well in case his own sharp eye missed anything.

Mizuki quickly seized the stack of papers back before either of them could learn too much. However, unbeknownst to the commissioner, the red haired demon had already memorized all the pertinent details on each and every sheet. "Well if certain… parties would let us do our job, we'd be more than capable of solving this in a timely manner. And on our own, I'll add!" he hissed.

"Is that so?" Sasuke parried, "Then I'll leave you to it then, gentlemen. Come Gaara."

"Of course, sir." With that, the Uchiha heir and his butler strode away from the still sputtering detective and his rather annoyed superior.

"So what now, sweetie?" Lady Kushina asked once her nephew had joined her and Lee amongst the still growing crowd of curious onlookers.

"We go see someone who can actually help us."

"Surely not…" Lee gasped.

"Could there be anyone else?" the fourteen-year-old interrupted smugly.

A few minutes later found the motley group standing in one of the 'nicer' neighborhoods of Konoha's slum districts before an undertaker's shop of all places. "Ano… where are we again?" Lee inquired, staring at the coffins and blank headstones on display outside.

"You. Don't. Know?" Kushina all but screamed, "Then why the bloody hell did you act as if you knew where we were going?"

"A family 'acquaintance' runs this particular establishment," Gaara explained.

"This is the best place for answers considering slum crimes," the raven haired Uchiha lord disclosed, opening the door and stepping into the darkened shop. Coffins and various items of a funereal nature were scattered about. Some of the morbid boxes were in various states of completion.

"I thought I'd be seeing you soon," a voice chirped from further within the funeral parlor. Suddenly, one of the coffins leaning against the walls slid open to reveal a young man his late twenties to early thirties. He had messy silver hair and was dressed in traditional funeral robes, his equally black hat askew, hiding one eye, the lower half of his face also obscured by a thick dark gray scarf. Tucked into the robes' sash was a small bright orange book.

The group – with the exception of the Uchiha lord and demon butler – let out shrieks and shouts of surprise at he unexpected appearance. Poor Naruto – who had tagged along with his mistress – had almost fainted from the fright, landing on his rear several feet away from the strange man.

"Let me guess," the man known only as 'The Undertaker' queried, his only visible eye an upside down 'U', "You're here to finally be fitted for one of my coffins."

"Of course not!" declared Sasuke, used to the eccentric man's behavior, "I'm…"

The mortician placed a single half gloved finger on the boy's lips, effectively silencing him. "No need," he said, "I already know. All too well, you might say. My latest 'customer' was a bit… unique shall we say. No worries though, she looks much better than ever thanks to me."

"The details, if you don't mind," requested the fourteen-year-old, getting right to the point.

"Ah I get it now!" the Chinese teen piped, "Your being an undertaker is only a cover. Name your price."

The silver haired man's eye narrowed dangerously at Lee. "If it's the Hokage's money you think I'm after, you're _dead_ wrong. I've no need for that. I get more than enough almost every day." He then moved quicker than any of those present could follow and grasped onto Sasuke's supper arms. "Please, Lord, I **know** you have **it**!" he shamelessly begged, "Let me have it and I'll tell you whatever you want!"

"It seems there's no other choice," the demonic butler said, snatching his young charge from the still pleading mortician. "If everyone were to please wait outside," Gaara said quickly ushering the group from the shop.

"You know what to do," the Uchiha lord ordered before closing the door, receiving a curt nod from the redhead.

A few moments later, maniacal laughter could be heard from inside the funeral parlor. It was so loud that it shook the shop's huge sign right off the building's front façade. The door shortly opened and a smug looking Gaara greeted them. "He'll talk now, my lord," said the butler allowing the rest of the group to pass.

The Undertaker lay sprawled across one of his coffins, sill giggling and drooling. Clutched tightly in hi spasming hand was a shiny, new, bright orange book.

Once their host had recovered from receiving his 'payment' and had served everyone his signature bone shaped cookies and tea – using beakers as the pot and cups – he got down to business.

"I've been noticing a certain pattern with my 'customers' as of late," he stated, playing with a cookie, "They've been employing my services a bit… lacking."

"Lacking?" repeated Gaara.

"Yes. They arrive with a certain part missing – that most important organ that allows a lady to bear children. As messy as our 'Kyuubi's' been, that specific part is _always_ expertly removed."

"'Kyuubi' committed these murders on streets where people were sure to pass by," the demon added, "An amateur would certainly have a hard time with doing such precise surgical work without screwing it up in such limited time."

"Exactly what I was thinking Mr. Butler," agreed the silver haired man, going over to stand behind Sasuke. "You see," he began, wrapping an arm around the boy's shoulders. "'Kyuubi' slits her throat." He dragged a semi-gloved finger across Sasuke's neck while placing his other hand on his abdomen. "Then he rips her open right here." The mortician continued rubbing the Uchiha head's stomach, "and pulls out that most precious part right out. Such vicious killers like our Kyuubi won't stop until you make them. So my little guard dog can you out fox the fox?"

"The honor of my clan is at stake here," Sasuke replied, glaring at the Undertaker. He didn't particularly like being used as a visual aid. "I'll get rid of whatever threat the Hokage commands me to. By **ANY **means necessary."

"Thanks to the Undertaker's information, we can narrow down the suspects," the fourteen-year-old said as they rode the Uchiha's carriage which was being driven by Naruto at the moment. It seemed to be the **only** thing the extremely inept butler **didn't **mess up.

"First we weed out those who don't have the skills for precise surgical work, meaning those within the upper class," Gaara commenced, "then focus on those that do, excluding those with airtight alibis of course. Now since only specific part of their anatomy was taken from each victim, I would assume that 'Kyuubi' has some sort of connection to the occult. That would mean we yet again exclude certain others and concentrate on those with the necessary medical skills _**and**_ association with the occult."

"Well that leaves me out," Madame Red remarked nonchalantly, "I may have enough experience and skill to do what Kyuubi did, but I certainly **don't** have any interest or connection to any occult stuff. Believe it!"

"That much is true, my lady," the redheaded butler acknowledged.

"It's not going to be easy," Kushina went on, missing the scrutinizing look Gaara had been giving her, "The summer season's almost over and Sasuke-kun's gong to have to get his bum in gear before people start going back to the country, taking their doctors with them."

"My sentiments exactly, Madam," Gaara agreed, a Cheshire grin on his handsome face.

"But such a task would be impossible," Lee protested, "Given the amount of nobles in this fair city. Not to mention the medical practitioners of good standing, they all would have left and cleaned up after themselves before his lordship has made any progress."

"On the contrary," the demon said, the cryptic grin not once leaving his face as he opened the door of the still moving carriage. "What kind of butler do you think I am? I shall start your list of suspects at once, my lord." Sasuke gave a short nod, not bothering to look at the man. With that, Gaara leapt from the carriage, shocking Kushina, Lee, and Naruto – who very nearly lost control of the horses upon witnessing his fellow butler's rather dramatic exit. The Uchiha lord just smiled, the grin on his face mimicking his butler's as the boy shut the door.

"Don't worry," Sasuke said, returning to his seat, "Gaara is more than capable of handling things. Let's go home. I'd like a cup of tea."

"Welcome back, minna(2)," the redheaded butler greeted, bowing as Lee opened the townhouse's door for Sasuke. Kushina's eyes bugged out upon seeing Gaara standing before them. It had only been twenty minutes since the demonic servant had leapt from the Uchiha's carriage. "I've been waiting for you," he said, rather enjoying the woman's shock. "Your tea is ready for you in the upstairs drawing room."

His young master nodded sharply, handing his silk top hat to the taller redhead before making his way upstairs.

"Now just a minute!" his aunt shouted, stepping up to face her fellow redhead. "Why are you here? I thought you were going to…"

"Already finished, my lady," the demon interjected, grinning that smug Chishire grin again.

"Don't you dare lie to me, buster!" Kushina bellowed, "There's _**NO**_ bloody way you could have a viable list already! Believe it!"

"But I do, madam," Gaara countered, producing three enormous scrolls, all bearing the Uchiha seal.

"Suuuuuuuuure you do Gaara," drawled the skeptical woman, "No one could be _**that**_ good or _**that**_ fast. Not even you."

"Forgive me, but I beg to differ, my lady," he continued. Gaara then broke open one of the scrolls, the roll of parchment unfurling down to the floor into a puddle. The demonic servant began to read off the names of suspects, listing each person's alibi.

Sasuke paused at the top of the first set of stairs to give his aunt an equally smug smirk of his own. The raven haired boy knew full well of his 'butler's' exceptional talents.

The poor woman could only stare wide eyed and slack jawed as Gaara continued on and on. Lee and Naruto gave the Uchiha butler awed stares of their own, the chestnut haired butler's admiration of his colleague rising tenfold. He'd never seen anything like this man.

"From what I have discovered," Gaara started, dropping the last of the scrolls, "I was able to reduce our list of suspects down to a single individual.

"You can't be just a butler," but in Madame Red, visibly impressed. "You've gotta be from ANBU or maybe some kinda ex-samurai of some daimyo. Believe it!"

"I assure you, Lady Kushina," the demonic redhead replied, smiling his trademark Cheshire grin, "I am merely one hell of a butler."

"The Viscount Kuchinawa(3), or Lord Orochimaru, has a medical degree from Konohagure University, but has never shown any interest in starting a practice," Gaara commenced, adjusting his glasses slightly as he and the others rode in Sasuke's carriage – once again being driven by Naruto.

"As of late, he has been holding soirees at his home here in Konoha. However, these parties are only a camouflage for secret gatherings of a few select friends and intimates."

"I've heard he's shown interest in the occult lately," Madame Red added.

"So you're saying," Lee piped, " is that he's having all these parties to disguise his most unyouthful activities of ritual sacrifices and other such fowl things involving those unfortunate women."

"This is last soiree of the summer season," Sasuke said as the carriage stopped at a large mansion on the very edge of the other side of the city from the Uchiha townhouse. "which means we can't mess this up. It's our only chance at apprehending 'Kyuubi'."

The boy allowed the valets to help him from the carriage, scowling at his smirking butler. The Uchiha heir had been forced to wear a _dress_ of all things! Not only that, but an uber frilly _**PINK**_ monster that required the sheer hell and torture of a whale bone corset and hoop skirt. Sasuke's hair was expertly tucked into a pigtailed wig that matched his raven locks perfectly. An equally monstrously pink and frilly had sat crookedly on his head, tastefully obscuring is usually covered right eye along with the wig's bangs.

"Sasuke, you'll be my niece," Lady Kushina whispered as they were escorted into the viscount's mansion. The vivacious woman had chosen an off shoulder gown of blood red and a large black hat with at matching red ribbon. A white feather boa had been flirtatiously draped around her waist and elbows. "And Gaara, you're Sasuke's tutor."

"Why do I have to be your _**niece**_? the boy hissed back furiously.

"Because I've always wanted a girl," Kushina whispered back merrily.

"I don't believe this!" the Uchiha lord grumbled.

"Do you want Lord Orochimaru to know you're an Uchiha?" the boy's aunt warned, "And besides, my sources tell me that Viscount Kuchinawa is a known collector of pretty and unusual things. You're certainly pretty enough to catch his eye. Not to mention you're sure unusual as well, believe it! So don't we want to catch his eye or not?"

"You did tell our 'friend' the Undertaker 'by **ANY **means necessary' did you not, my lord?" Gaara included slyly. The demon was definitely enjoying his young master's discomfort immensely.

"Tch."

"First we have to locate the viscount," the demon butler began, leading Sasuke further into the partying throng, leaving Kushina and Lee to fend for themselves.

"At least I don't have to worry about Sakura being here. I'd die of sheer humiliation if she'd ever saw me like this," the Uchiha lord griped.

"Oh your dress is sooooooo cyuuuuute!" came an all too familiar squeal, causing the old saying 'speak of the devil, and he'll show up' to come to the boy's mind.

_'I-I'm just hearing things,'_ he muttered to himself, _'there's no way _**she'd**_ be here!'_

"Everyone's dresses are just too lovely!"

Sasuke froze in utter terror. There was no mistaking that annoying, squealing voice this time. He shakingly took a glance over his shoulder and sure enough, there stood his nightmarish pink haired cousin in all her frilly glory. "S-S-S-Sakura?" he stammered lowly, quickly whipping his head away from the hyper, squealing pink terror.

"Now sir, I mean young miss," Gaara whispered, quickly correcting himself and remembering he had a new part to play at the moment. It was extremely rare the demon to slip up like that, but he, like his young charge, hadn't been told that Sasuke's cousin and fiancée would be in attendance at the viscount's final ball of the season. "You must calm down, let's go before she sees…"

"Oh now _**that's **_the cyuuuuuutest dress ever!" the pink haired girl cried upon spotting Sasuke's retreating back.

Gaara swiftly lead his 'mistress' even further away from Sakura, both managing to give the squealing girl the slip by hiding behind one of the enormous multi-tiered cakes scattered throughout the mansion.

"Forgive me mistress," the demonic redhead apologized, fully in character now, "I truly did not think Lady Sakura would be attending tonight."

"If she'd seen my face…"

"The name of Uchiha would be forever ruined beyond repair for generations to come," finished Gaara.

"We'd better go back to auntie." The redheaded butler nodded and began to follow him.

Meanwhile, Lady Kushina was seated on an enormous plush chair, laughing uproariously and having the time of her life. A bevy of young men were surrounding her like moths to a flame.

'Looks like she's enjoying herself,' Sasuke huffed silently.

"There you are!" came Sakura's dreaded squeal.

The raven haired boy once again started to panic, but Gaara, being the exceptional butler that he was, quickly dragged the Uchiha heir away yet again, stopping only to tell one of the many hired caterers to give the pink haired nightmare a drink, thus effectively distracting the persistent female.

"Why do I always have these things happen to me?" Sasuke grumbled, panting as he and the demon made it safely to a terrace.

"Oh my!" came a woman's voice from inside, "Lord Kuchinawa is as handsome as ever!"

"That long black hair of his looks as soft as a raven's wing!" remarked another.

Upon hearing them, the Uchiha heir and his demonic servant moved from the terrace and back into the mansion. A tall, pale skinned man was chatting with a small group of guests. He was dressed in a finely tailored kimono of creams and lavenders.

"That's him," whispered Sasuke, "That's Lord Orochimaru. Let's get this over with." Just as they were about to go over and 'greet' their host, the hired orchestra began to play, causing guests to swarm into the large room which appeared to be the viscount's dance hall. The dancing couples made it virtually impossible to get near the pale man without disturbing anyone.

"Tch," cursed the boy. "We'll never get close enough to him at this rate."

"It seems we'll have to dance our way through this," Gaara said rather calmly, spotting their target at the far end of the hall near a pair of stairs.

"D-Dance? In public? With _**you**_?" sputtered his young master.

"You already know I'm an accomplished dancer," Gaara replied, smirking as he grasped Sasuke's wrist. He wasn't about to give the boy a chance to protest any further. "And besides that, _young miss_, social etiquette allows a lady to dance with her tutor while at such a public gathering as this."

"Must we?" Sasuke complained. How he absolutely _**loathed**_ dancing!

Gaara said nothing, he simply grinned and grabbed hold of the Uchiha lord's waist and began to lead him into a waltz. Thanks to the demon's graceful skills at dancing, the two of them managed to dance across the crowded hall without stumbling or bumping into anyone. Sasuke dropped down to his knees and began panting again once they'd reached the other side.

"Now, now," chided the demon as he helped him to stand, "Surely one dance couldn't have tired you out already, young miss."

Before the fourteen-year-old could launch a rather scathing retort, they were startled by the sound of someone clapping. Turning around the Uchiha lord came face to face with Viscount Kuchinawa. "That was simply exquisite," their host praised, giving the disguised boy an appraising gaze. "Your dancing reminded me of a little robin fluttering about, young lady."

Whether the creepy looking man was buying the disguise or not, Sasuke couldn't tell and their target was obviously not going to show any signs in either direction. Even so the man's golden eyes were seriously starting to unnerve him.

"Shall I fetch you a drink, my lady?" Gaara inquired then promptly leaving before the boy could reply or order him to stay.

"G-Good evening, Lord Kuchinawa," Sasuke stammered, actually remembering to curtsy and disguise his voice by raising the pitch as high as he could, making it sound what he hoped to be girlish.

"Enjoying the party," Orochimaru asked, taking the fourteen-year-old's gloved hand and kissing it, "Little Robin?"

"Yes," replied the boy, pouring on as much feminine charm as he could, remembering to bat his eyes like his aunt drilled into him, "It's lovely, but I've been waiting to speak to you all evening night."

"Is that so?" the serpentine man inquired again, seeming to fall for the raven haired boy's act.

"I'm done with just dancing and eating."

"My, my. You're quite the spoiled princess aren't you?" Orochimaru remarked, placing an arm around Sasuke's waist. "You want something more entertaining is that it?" The older man's hand slipped further down the Uchiha heir's hip.

_'You can do this, Sasuke,'_ the Uchiha head told himself silently, _'After Gaara's torturous etiquette lessons and auntie's crash course in finishing school – not mention being forced into this hellish contraption – this should be a piece of cake!_'

"There are other amusements?" the boy queried, "I'd be ever so happy to see them."

"Anything for my lovely Little Robin," the viscount murmured grasping Sasuke's chin.

_'I'm going to kill him when this is over! The perverted snake!'_

"What did you have in mind, my lord?" Sasuke asked, continuing the coquettish act. _'I have until the end of this song to find out what he's up to,'_ he inwardly noted having finally noticed that the band had started another waltz while he'd been talking with the snake of a man. He quickly gave a glance at the dancing couples and spotted a certain pink head and frilly red gown. _'Oh no! If Sakura comes over here…'_

"Are you sure you wish to know, my dear little bird?"

"Of course! I simply must know, my Lord Kuchinawa."

"Hmm, I don't know," hesitated Orochimaru, "You do look to be rather young."

"Don't tease me like this, my lord. I'm a **lady** not a little child."

The music stopped and Sasuke glanced back at the crowd to see his cousin starting to make her way towards them. _'I'm done for!'_ he silently moaned, certain his life would be over in a manner of seconds.

"Why so distracted, my lovely butterfly?" the serpentine noble asked, taking hold of the boy's chin once more to bring his attention back onto him.

"I-It's nothing," Sassuke stammered, praying desperately that his cousin would find something else to hold her interest.

As in answer to the boy's silent begging, Gaara swooped down between Sasuke and his rapidly approaching pink harridan, bearing a large cabinet like box. The demon's handsome face was hidden by a party mask.

"Now if you'll all gather 'round," the redhead announced as he rose to his feet. "This evening's magic show is about to commence."

The guests who had remained to wait for the next number circled the mysterious man, eager for the latest bit of entertainment. Sakura – effectively distracted once more, gave out an awed gasp of excitement. She loved parlor tricks.

_'Thank goodness,' _the raven haired Uchiha sighed inwardly, _'My reputation's saved.'_

"You there!" Gaara called, pointing at Lee who'd been fanning Kushina up to then, "I am in need of an assistant."

"Certainly!" chirped the Chinese teen, smiling widely, "I am always ready to assist those in need." He promptly lost the large bamboo fan and rushed to the demon's side.

"How odd," Orochimaru mused, eyeing the redhead suspiciously, "I'm sure I didn't ask for any illusionists"

Seizing the chance his demonic butler had just given him, Sasuke turned back to the viscount. "Lord Orochimaru," he entreated, pulling out all the stops on this one moment, "Must we stay for this? I've no interest in parlor tricks. I find them boring and quite frankly, rather passé."

"Of course, my dear Little Robin," the snakish nobleman replied, causing Sasuke to inwardly flinch in disgust at the older man's leering. The two promptly left the dance hall, Orochimaru leading the way up the stairs and deeper into the mansion.

Meanwhile with Gaara…

"You'll observe that this is but an ordinary box," the demon began, addressing the audience, "No hidden tricks or false panels anywhere." He then knocked on all sides of the cabinet like box, even the top and bottom. "Once I step inside this box, my assistant shall wrap these chains," he gestured to a sizeable amount of chains and padlocks nearby, "around the box and lock them. After that, run these swords," he made a sweeping bow to pick up a sword from another large pile opposite the chains, "straight through like so."

The redhead ran the sword through the box with a flourish then promptly pulled it back out and dropping it back onto its pile. Sakura, along with several other ladies let out gasps of concern, fearful for the seemingly handsome performer's safety.

"Fear not ladies," Gaara declared, hamming it up. How he adored playing on a woman's emotions, "I shall be completely unharmed. For unlike those other mountebanks, my performances are those of true magic." Without further ado, the demonic butler stepped into the box, closing the doors after him.

Lee eagerly then began wrapping and locking the chains into place until there was absolutely _no_ possibility of escape. "Here goes!" the black haired 'assistant' muttered, grasping one of the swords. He then leapt straight up onto the top of the cabinet and plunged the weapon all the way to the hilt.

The entire audience let out shouts of sheer terror, for such a blow most definitely would be one hundred percent fatal! Almost all the women fainted, believing they'd just been witness to a murder. Lee ignored them and continued to plunge sword after sword into the box at lightning speed until the box resembled a cactus.

Once the Chinese teen had finished, the chains shattered mere seconds afterwards. The doors promptly swung open to reveal a smiling and completely unscathed Gaara, not a single hair was out of place. The audience cheered wholeheartedly as the demon stepped from the box, cries of 'true magic' rippled through the crowd.

"Wow Gaara!" cheered Lady Kushina, "That was really something! Amazing even, believe it!"

"Yes!" piped Lee, "I had begun to worry I had done you serious harm, my friend."

"It did hurt a bit," whispered the demon, "I wasn't expecting you to aim for my head first. I'm just glad it was me in there and not someone else. Otherwise, they'd most certainly be dead."

"At any rate Gaara, what exactly was the secret behind such a marvelous illusion? How did you manage to escape harm?"

Before the demonic redhead could answer, Lady Kushina grabbed Lee. "You didn't know? And you still used _**all**_ those swords?" she bellowed, throttling him.

Gaara turned to them before going in search of his 'mistress' "As I told everyone here," he said, giving his customary Cheshire grin once more, "there was no trick, simply magic?"

"I assure you, my lovely butterfly," Orochimaru said, opening the door for his guest, "that you'll find this place to be so much more amusing." A cloud of strange smelling perfume hit them "I certainly do," the serpentine smile seeming to increase in width with each step they took.

As Sasuke ventured further into the dark and smoky room at the bottom of a hidden staircase, he felt himself start to wobble upon his feet. _'This stench… it's overpowering,'_ he thought. Suddenly, he slumped against the door, unable to support his own weight anymore. He'd failed to notice when the viscount had shut it, thus blocking off the only visible route of escape. The Uchiha heir silently cursed his stupidity for letting Gaara go off to who knows where as his vision rapidly blurred and his mind finding it hard to concentrate long enough to summon the demon.

"Already enjoying yourself, I see," Orochimaru taunted, the snakish grin reaching from ear to ear at the boy's drugged stupor, "my dear, Little Robin."

~TBC~

A/N:

Noisome – odorous (blame my current obsession with H.P. Lovecraft for this one folks, he loves to use words like this)

Minna – everyone

kuchinawa – old word for snake (I think this is what should have been Orochi-sama's clan name if Kushimoto sensei had given him one)

Sasuke: ONNA! (readies his Chidori Stream)

Sakura: Yeah, yeah I know Uchiha. You're gonna kill me. Take a number and get in line, brat!

T. M. Riddle: My, my, my, and they said **I **was the most evil.

Sakura: Tom! How in Merlin's name did you get in here?

Harry: um… you see…

Sakura: Ooooooh. Never mind then. Anyhoo, if you want Sasuke saved ASAP (shut it Uchiha your vote doesn't count!) then send me feedback! Any flamers – especially for my Sakura bashing – however get fed to Nagini. You've been warned. ^_^


	5. Chapter 5

Kuroshitsuji – Naruto Style

By Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Episode 5

He awoke to utter darkness. Refusing to let the fear that was starting to gnaw at his mind to get any further hold, Sasuke took a deep breath and began taking stock of his current situation.

He could feel cold iron bars at his back, so that probably meant he was in a cage. Again. The raven haired boy desperately bit the inside of his cheek, refusing to let the memories of _that _time two years ago force him into one of his panic attacks. For once he gave a grateful mental sigh that a blindfold had been tied around his head and therefore was unable to see the bars.

Next he noticed both his wrists and ankles were tied tightly, but not enough to cut off circulation. Also he was still wearing that hideous pink monstrosity he'd been forced into mere hours ago. Sasuke'd never admit it, but the Uchiha lord was extremely grateful the perverted snake of a man hadn't removed the dress. He had wanted that frilly hellish contraption off, but not he wasn't that desperate.

"And finally," came Orochimaru's hissing voice from somewhere in the dark. "What you've all been waiting for. Our star of the night, our crowning jewel." There was a swishing sound of something being uncovered, his prison most likely.

Sasuke inwardly snarled at the awed gasps from the gathered crowd. 'When I get out of here, I'll show what it means to gape at an Uchiha like a piece of meat,' the fourteen-year-old silently vowed.

"She'd be a lovely decoration, don't you think?" Viscount Kuchinawa continued. "I'm certain she'd make a sweet little pet for one of you. That is if you'd prefer to keep her whole and healthy of course. Though, should you desire to sell off her parts, those of you who are discerning collectors would appreciate that her eyes are two different colors. That alone should add to the value of this lovely's attraction.

'So Orochimaru's secret parties are black market auctions,' Sasuke mused, fighting against the fear and anger he was feeling. Fear of being sold to some disgusting old pervert like the Viscount; fear of being killed before he'd gotten his revenge; and anger at being talked about and put on display as if he mattered no more than a slab of meat or some useless decorative bauble. 'He's been selling the missing organs this way. So that's what he's been up to.'

"The bidding shall now start," the snake like man stated.

The raven haired boy startled slightly as he felt someone untying his blindfold. He began to tune out the Viscount's voice as the perverted noble started calling out bids. "Gaara," the fourteen-year-old nobleman whispered softly, "Get your lazy ass over here this instant."

Within milliseconds of uttering that command, all of the candles scattered about the attic room went out at once as if a giant's breath had simply snuffed them out.

"W-What's going on?" demanded a flustered Orochimaru. The Uchiha lord simply sat in the cage as screams and sounds of bodies hitting the floor ensued. Just as suddenly, the candles back to life, revealing a completely spotless and untouched red haired demon.

"Honestly young master," Gaara said exasperatedly, brushing off imaginary dust off his pristine gloves. "It seems you're only good for one thing – getting yourself kidnapped. Such a shame."

Sasuke glared at his demonic servant. "As long as you and I are under contract, you'll tail me wherever I go regardless. Whether you like it or not. Am I right, Gaara?"

"Such a contract as ours," the taller redhead said, approaching the cage, "Is sealed with a mark a demon places on their prey. The more noticeable the mark," he added giving the boy's glowing red eye a cursory glance, "the tighter the bond between demon and prey. The demon must serve…"

"While the prey can never escape," finished Sasuke, the contract mark placed within his right eye slowly beginning to dim down to its usual faint glow.

"That is so," Gaara replied, bending the thick iron bars as easily as if they were toothpicks. "Where you go, I go. Until the very end." He then started untying his master's arms and legs. "Should I die in this mortal form, I will still be with you in the very depths of Hell itself. This is how we demons differ from you humans." The redheaded demon gingerly scooped up the boy, cradling him as if he were the finest Bru doll. "We do not lie."

"Hn. Good. You are never to lie to me, no matter what, is that clear?"

"Crystal, my lord."

"So I assume we've solved the 'Kyuubi' case. I expected it to be a bit harder," the boy griped as they strolled past Orochimaru's unconscious body. They'd leave the rest for the police to sort things out.

"We'd best hurry before Sir Mizuki and his men show up." The demon's master gave a noncommittal 'hn' then Gaara slightly tightened his hold before leaping out the attic window and onto the roof.

Upon hearing a strange noise, a certain pink haired girl rushed to the terrace balcony looked to the roof above to see…

Nothing.

"That's odd," Lady Sakura murmured rubbing her now sleepy eyes, "I was sure I heard something on the roof."

Sasuke let out a sigh of relief, grateful Gaara had been quick enough to hide them on the other side of the dormer.

The next day…

"'Kyuubi' strikes again?" Lee gasped as he read the latest post out loud.

"Guess that means you were wrong about Orochimaru," Lady Kushina remarked, sipping her tea.

Across from the other side of the drawing room, Gaara's teal eyes narrowed dangerously at the red headed woman as he silently hovered by his little master.

"This is hardly the time for games," Sasuke ground out as he moved a piece along the shogi board.

"Sasuke, sweetie," his aunt chided, making a counter move, "it's not healthy to obsess over it. And besides, what good will it do? It won't help this awful case get solved. Just leave it to Gaara."

"He's just a shogi piece," shot the raven haired lord, moving another piece. "I may be the one moving him by giving orders, but Gaara's no ordinary pawn. He can move as many spaces he needs. Like this." He then took one of his knights and knocked Kushina's rook off the board.

"Hey!" the redheaded woman protested, half jumping form her seat and almost upsetting the board in the process. Her nephew had just made an illegal move. "That's against the rules!" she huffed before sitting back down and moving another piece.

"It was," Sasuke agreed smugly, "But we both know that real life isn't a game, Auntie. There's always a knight who'll go against the rules and pawns who'll switch sides. Ignore that, and it's checkmate." He then took his second knight and placed it in front of her vulnerable king. He continued to smirk, knowing he'd just won their little game.

"Sasuke sweetie…" Lady Kushina began grimly, disliking how her adopted nephew had become so jaded and guarded. He had been such a sweet and happy little boy. What had happened to him two years ago after his parents' murder when he went missing… she had to force herself not to think of that. If whatever it was made the boy like this, then it was better that she didn't know. "Surely you don't have to do this. Can't someone else be the Hokage's watch dog? My dear friend Mikoto, your mother, couldn't have possibly wanted this for you. You don't have to be the one to avenge your parents sweetie."

The fourteen year old took a sip of tea before answering his aunt, his only visible eye staring at her just as grimly. "Revenge is a funny thing, Aunt Kushina, it can't bring back dead nor can it give them happiness," he replied, absently playing with his father's ring upon his thumb. "As for your question, I didn't become head of the Uchiha clan or the Hokage's guard dog for my parents. I did it because I **wanted** to, not because anyone else thought I should." There was a palpable silence fro several more moments before the Uchiha heir continued. "I want to find those scum responsible for my parents' deaths. I want to find them and make them suffer exactly as I have. The **same** pain, the **same **humiliation."

"Oh sweetie!" cried Lady Kushina, rising from her chair, "My poor sweet boy! I still remember how tiny you were when you were born," she said, rushing to his side. She wanted to scoop the boy into her arms and snatch him away from this hellish life he'd made for himself; snatch him away and hide him where none could find and do him any further harm. Hokage be damned!

"I remember," she started again, placing a hand on her nephew's raven head, "saying to myself, 'no matter what, I must protect him, believe it!' I can't have children of my own now, so I came to see you as my own precious little boy. So I'm begging you, Sasuke. Quit this. Thell that old hag of a Hokage to find another fool to do her dirty work."

The raven haired boy stared at his aunt in shock for the space of a few seconds then angrily slapped the comforting hand away. "_I _chose this," he snapped, "and it's still _my _choice, not yours, not Gaara's, not even the Hokage's. I don't regret becoming her guard dog so please don't you dare baby me Aunt Kushina."

That last statement had been the unspoken command to drop it. Kushina respectfully obeyed that command, but still did not like that the boy was so determined in this matter. She could only pray that he didn't wind up like his parents one day. Policing the country's underbelly was **no **job for a child. How could someone who adamantly championed for the rights of children be so hypocritical by allowing her nephew to engage in such dangerous business? The red haired woman had lost what little respect she had left for the Hokage the moment she'd learned of Sasuke's 'duties'.

A few minutes later found Madame Red at the Uchiha manor's main entrance. She had no more desire to finish their game of shogi and it was getting rather late anyway. "Thank you," she said as Gaara helped her into her favorite red trench coat.

"Ma'am," was the redheaded butler's reply.

"Promise me, Gaara," the taller redhead said sternly, "promise me you'll **never **leave that boy's side. This world is much too dangerous fro a child like him. Don't you ever let him lose himself."

The demonic servant gave her a rueful smile. It was not in his nature to have feelings for his prey, but somehow this small lost lamb of a boy had grown on him over the past two years. The thought of his young master losing sight of himself along the path he'd chosen for himself left a bad aftertaste. He surprised the woman by getting down onto one knee and placing one hand upon his heart. "You have my solemn promise, my lady," he began, "I shall be with the young master till the very end."

Kushina was utterly stunned by this man's actions and profession of loyalty to her nephew. She had been so busy staring at Gaara in awe and newfound respect that she jumped when the front door opened.

Standing outside with an umbrella over him was Naruto, a black cloak with orange trimming hiding his butler's uniform. His mistress's carriage was parked directly at the bottom of the steps, waiting for her whenever she was ready to leave. "I'm here to pick you up, my lady," stated the chestnut haired butler.

"So?" the boy asked as his demonic butler entered the bedroom after knocking.

"I keep coming to the same conclusion no matter how I look at it," Gaara stated, glancing through his files on the 'Kyuubi' case once more.

"Viscount Kuchinawa didn't kill that girl yesterday."

"Correct, young master. Nor could have any of those at the party."

"It would be humanly impossible for anyone to move so quickly," the Uchiha lord said, rubbing at his tired eyes. "Tomorrow we'll…" He gave a gasp as what he had just said sunk into his fatigued mind. "It was you, Gaara." It was more of question than a statement.

The demon gave his master an amused Cheshire grin, "You know very well I didn't do these messy crimes, young master," he mockingly chided, "A demon never lies." Sasuke looked away, trying his best not to seem sheepish let alone ashamed for even thinking such a thing about his butler. Gaara continued to smirk, enjoying the boy's embarrassment before getting back to the matter at hand.

"Now given all the data we've gathered, the only _human _suspect is Viscount Kuchinawa."

"Alright Gaara, spit it out!" demanded the fourteen year old, "What are you not telling me? I know you know something and you're hiding it from me!"

The red haired demon refused to answer right away, instead choosing to keep the Chishire grin upon his handsome face. "I only act upon those orders you yourself give me directly," he stated, "and since I am 'one hell of a butler', I follow them to the letter." Sasuke growled, mismatched eyes blazing in fury at the demon. The redhead certainly knew how to find loopholes in every single order he'd been given. There'd be no answers from him tonight.

"With but a few simple words, my lord," Gaara continued, "I can either become your knight or your pawn. Now, young master, put me into check."

The next night, the Uchiha heir and his demonic butler stood in a slum alley by the only entrance to the residence of one Michiru Kanzaka. As to prevent any suspicion upon them, the fourteen year old nobleman had donned children's clothing of a commoner while Gaara being the creature he was, simply wore a blood red trench coat, a shade darker than the one Madame Red usually wore when visiting.

"You sure this is the right place?" the boy asked, tugging slightly at the collar of the plain shirt he wore under the vest. The coarse fabric was itching him something fierce and he was unused to such inferior material touching his pale skin.

"Yes my lord," was the demon's emotionless reply.

"You know," Sasuke began, leaning against the wall, "I've noticed something. These murdered women had something in common other than their… profession."

"The most beautiful, glossy, black hair," muttered Gaara.

"I just don't understand why 'Kyuubi' had to kill them all."

"So loveable, it's sinful," the demon continued to mutter.

"Another thing is I…"

"So soft… so very soft."

A vein began popping on the Uchiha lord's forehead as he turned to face his servant. "How dare you ignore me when I'm talking to you!" he exclaimed in frustration.

His butler was currently crouched on the cobblestoned ground, a small black cat cradled in his arms. "Forgive me, young master," Gaara apologized, the feline meowing happily as the demon continued to dote on her. "But she's so lovely and soft." He then went to rub his cheek against the cat's causing her to purr.

Sasuke was about to launch another tirade at the demon while stifling the sneezes forcing their way out of his nose – he was allergic to the infernal things – when a woman's scream pierced the air.

"What the…?" Sasuke glowered at the demon, who was now leaping into action. The cat had jumped out of his arms upon the earsplitting sound. "They snuck by us! No thanks to your goofing around!" The raven haired lord then dashed down the alley. Gaara chased after his master in a vain attempt to prevent him from seeing he was dead certain had happened. Lee was absolutely correct in that matter. A crime scene of such a nature as 'Kyuubi's' was something **no **child should even be exposed to.

Sasuke immediately shoved the faded and peeling door open upon reaching Kanzaka's hovel of a room. A single drop of red splashed on his face and the boy stood frozen at the gruesome sight before him. Michiru Kanzaka laid lifeless on the dirty floor, her corpse torn to pieces and a gaping hole was in what one could only assume was her abdomen.

"Don't look anymore!" commanded Gaara, snatching the child away from the nauseating view, quickly covering Sasuke's uncovered eye. Said fourteen-year-old gasped and panted a few moments before promptly spilling the contents of his stomach. That had been his first corpse and he was already wishing he'd **never **have to see anything even remotely like it again. How could anyone like Mizuki handle things like this without losing their sanity, let alone their dinners?

"Quite the mess you've made of things," Gaara called as it began to rain, "Kyuubi… no, Naruto Uzumaki."

Lady Kushina's butler stepped from the shadows inside the run down home, Kanzaka's blood all over his body and uniform.

"H-Hey!" the other butler stammered, "Y-You've got it all mixed up, believe it! I heard her scream and ran right over, but…"

"Drop the act, Naruto," Gaara snarled, "You've lost. It's over. You know, this is the first time I've run into someone like you here in the ningenkai*. That was quite the 'dead last' act, you almost had even **me **fooled."

"Really," the revealed murderer chirped, "That really means a lot!" he grinned, a set of demonic looking fangs making themselves known. He yanked off the orange ribbon holding back his now bloody hair. "I'm an actor ya know, a darned good one too, believe it!" He ran his hand through his unbound hair. The long chestnut locks instantly fell off just above his shoulders and lightened until they were a blinding sunshine yellow and rather spiky. His skin which had been pale, yet a shade darker than Sasuke's, quickly turned to a light caramel tan color and three whisker like marks appeared on each of his cheeks, giving him a bit of a foxy appearance.

"So I'm guessing here that 'Gaara's' not who you really are either," the now blond butler said smirking at the demon who was still covering his young master's eyes throughout the whole exchange.

"'Gaara' is the name my master has given me, so I am Gaara. For now at least."

"Hmm, so that's the type of role you like to play, ne? Well, you sure are good looking enough to play the 'faithful dog'. Well, since we're all here, Gaara… no, I'm gonna call ya Gaa-chan, why don't I introduce myself properly. I'm Naruto Uzumaki, the super awesome Namikaze butler! Say Gaa-chan, since you 'n' me are both butlers how about we get along?" The hyper blond then winked at his redheaded 'colleague' while blowing him a kiss.

Poor Gaara blanched. It was embarrassing for one such as him to be flirted with while the young master was present. Not to mention extremely disgusting when the one doing the flirting was one of **their** kind.

"It's awesome that I can **finally** talk to you in my real form, Gaa-chan. You're the first demon I've ever seen playing at being a butler, believe it!"

"I can say the same about you," Gaara spat back, veiling his hatred and disgust with an amicable smile, "I find it rather odd for one of **your** kind doing the same. You're supposed to be liaisons between humans and the Gods, a shinigami*. Now would an immortal such as you pretend to be a human servant I wonder?"

"Ya wanna know, Gaa-chan?" Naruto parroted, the prostitute's blood now completely washed away by the rain and the menacing grin still plastered on the shinigami's tan and whiskered face. "Let's just say I did it outta love."

"Oh, and that person would be…" Gaara requested, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

"I don't think you really need to ask, do you Gaara?" a woman replied, coming from the murder scene, her blood read coat and dress hiding all or any stains.

Upon hearing that voice, Sasuke shoved the arm blocking his view out of the way. "Auntie," he said sullenly.

"Well it looks like I goofed," Kushina said crossing her arms, "I didn't think there'd be anyone who'd know what Naruto really is."

"Hn. To tell the truth Aunt Kushina, you were on the list of suspects, right from the start. However, each of your alibis were airtight."

"Sasuke sweetie!" she cried in dismay, "I can't believe you'd suspect your own darling aunt, believe it!"

"I was ordered to find 'Kyuubi'. I could care less who he or she was," the raven haired boy replied coldly, "As for your alibis, as airtight as they were, Auntie, they would have worked perfectly since none of the **humans **on the list were capable of being 'Kyuubi'. But what if any of them had an acquaintance, one that **wasn't** human? That would have changed this game completely. The accomplice would have to be someone who can come and go without ever being noticed. A person who could travel from one end of Konoha to the other in an instant. So it's come down to this, only **you **two could be 'Kyuubi', Aunt Kushina, Naruto Uzumaki."

"I began to notice one other thing," the Uchiha heir continued, "All of your victims may have been prostitutes, yes, but they also had a certain operation at the Kohona Memorial Hospital, the same hospital where you work, Auntie." He then reached into the vest and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper. "This is the list of those women who came to see you for that operation. The only one still alive on this list was Michiru Kanzaka. That's why we were here. We knew you'd come for her sooner or later. But we weren't…" Sasuke looked away briefly, an immense guilt beginning to make itself known, "fast enough."

"I tried to get you to stop this ghastly 'work' of yours, Sasuke," Kushina said forlornly. "You should have just let it go. We would still be able to play shogi together. But now… YOU'VE RUINED **EVERYTHING**!" she screamed.

There was the sudden sound of a motor roaring into life and Naruto came barreling toward the raven haired Uchiha with a strange type of bladed weapon attached to a small box like motor. Just as the rapidly spinning blade was about to hit the boy, Gaara caught it between the palms of his hands.

"W-What the hell is that thing?" Sasuke sputtered, still reeling from the unexpected attack as the demonic butler shoved the weapon and blond shinigami away.

"A shinigami uses a tool to collect the souls of the dying," the redheaded demon explained, making sure he was between said shinigami and his master, "To be precise, a scythe"

"Oh, puh-leaze," Naruto huffed indignantly, "You don't know how long it took me to make this baby so don't ya dare call it a lousy old scythe! This beauty will chop anything up into itty bitty pieces, believe it!" To say the shinigami was proud of his self made deathscythe would be a grave understatement. "Ya know Gaa-chan," the blond began again, 'I've been such a good boy lately, I'm gettin' out of shape. So how about you 'n' me get some training? I'll make it worth your while," said with another wink.

"Be a bit more respectful," the redheaded demon butler scolded, "I'm on duty."

"I just loooove it when they play hard to get," gushed Naruto, "That just makes ya soooo much more irresistible! Did I ever tell ya I love the color orange?"

Gaara frowned. That much had been obvious since every time they'd seen each other, the shinigami had been dressed in that hideously garish orange and black uniform.

"It's just the thing for hair, clothes," the blond went on, "heck I've even seen a few chicks with orange lipstick. But I **really** love the shad of freshly dried blood. It's not red, but not quite brown, a kinda darkish, reddish, orange. So that's what I did to those sluts. I made them all over with that pretty, pretty orange. And now, I'm gonna give ya a makeover too. As good lookin' as you are now, you'll be even more handsome when I'm done! Trust me, you'll looove every second, believe it!"

"You should be quietly collecting souls like the rest of your kind, shinigami," Gaara said, turning away form the flirtatious death god. "Not gallivanting about and flirting with men like a common whore." He yanked off his burgundy trench coat and draped it around Sasuke's shoulders and over the boy's head to ward off the increasing rainfall.

"And since you're so fond at playing butler," the demonic redhead persisted, "You must be a shadow of your master. You have failed as a shinigami and as a butler. Frankly, you disgust me, Naruto."

Naruto looked as if he was about to cry, the sexy demon didn't have to be so harsh with the rejection. "That hurt, Gaa-chan," he moaned, pouting, "I may not look it, and I admit I can be a bit idiotic sometimes, but I'm **deadly **efficient, believe it!"

Sasuke glared at his aunt, letting the taller demon handle the shinigami. He reached for the medical badge that had been covering the contract marked eye. "I order you Gaara…" he commanded, the now uncovered optic glowing a fiery crimson, "In my and the Hokage's names, end those two!"

"Yes, my lord," the demon answered, a hellish smirk on his face as his normally teal eyes glowing a bright aquamarine. The demonic servant bit the end of one black glove, pulling it back down, making sure it was secure. He really hated getting his pristine nails dirty.

Naruto revved up the chainsaw like deathscythe again and began lunging at the slightly shorter demon. "Go ahead and run, Gaa-chan!" the blond purred as Gaara leapt backward out of harm's way each and every time the shinigami swung at him. "I loooooove playing tag!"

The redhead's back hit a nearby wall, but the demon didn't flinch for an instant. Instead, he nimbly performed a side flip as Naruto's deathscythe came barreling down toward his head. The blond grinned, enjoying their battle immensely. It had been **so **long since he'd ha a worthy opponent. The shinigami took another swing at Gaara yet again.

This time the demonic butler was unable to dodge the blow completely, the force of the swing knocking Gaara firmly against the wall and causing the inferior plastering to crack and dent slightly. However, he did manage to keep the constantly whirring blade from doing too much personal damage due to the two hands made of sand that were currently gripping the deadly reaping tool.

"That's what you get for not being quick enough, Gaa-chan," sneered the taller blond, "You get cut. I bet that's gotta smart like heck."

The red haired demonic servant glared as the blade pressed against the hands, causing it to cut deeper into Gaara's right shoulder.

Meanwhile, Lady Kushina started approaching her adopted nephew, a mad gleam in her eyes. "Ever the loyal guard dog I see," she said, her rueful smile never leaving her face, "I truly did want to save you from this life," she continued sullenly, "But you always were so stubborn Sasuke sweetie. So now, you've become prey." The redheaded woman then reached into the sleeve of her coat and pulled out the large surgical knife she'd used in her 'off duty activities'. "If it's gonna be hunt or be hunted," she resumed as she ran toward the boy, "Then there's only one thing I can do!" The blade grazed the fourteen-year-old's upper arm, slicing through Sasuke's shirt and skin in a vain attempt at the boy's life.

The Uchiha lord grunted in pain and stumbled back against the brick wall of Kanzaka's hovel. "How could you do it, Aunt Kushina?" he demanded, grasping his arm to staunch the blood flow. "You're a doctor for kami's sake!"

"A child like you would **never **understand!" yelled Kushina, "Not even if I told you, believe it!" She abruptly whirled on him and snatched the Uchiha heir's throat, shoving him against the wall. "Y-You gaki*!" she ground out, squeezing the delicate neck, causing Sasuke to gasp desperately for air and weakly clutch at the vise like grip of the woman's. "YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN BORN!" The insanity in the redhead's eyes softened a tiny bit as if something were pleading with her to stop. Kushina gasped as the boy she'd been so intent on killing suddenly took on the appearance of her deceased beloved best friend.

"YOUNG MASTER!" Gaara screamed, teal eyes flaring at the sight of his lord's immediate peril. He directed the sand hands to release the blade and he surged forward. Naruto's deathscythe continued to slice into his right shoulder until it had cut the entire arm clean off at where it joined the torso, causing an enormous gush of demon blood to spray onto the wall and reaper. Ignoring the pain, the demon dashed over to the woman, deadly intent shining in those glowing aquamarine depths.

"No Gaara!" ordered Sasuke, "Don't kill her!"

Gaara's hand of sand paused mere millimeters from Kushina's head, its fingers were outstretched in a squeezing gesture. The grainy substance fell apart and onto the ground as Sasuke's aunt dropped her knife, the blade clattering against the cobblestone.

Both servant and mortal stood panting heavily. "You're injured," stated the boy, mismatched eyes wide in utter shock at Gaara's missing limb. In these two short years he'd known him, not even once had the raven haired child seen his demon butler allow himself to be so gravely wounded like that.

"Oh how precious!" Naruto giggled, yanking his still gyrating deathscythe out of the wall, Gaara's blood rapidly drying on the blade. "You're a real prince of a guy, giving up an arm for that gaki. But," he went on, turning his disappointed and disgusted gaze onto his former 'employer', "You lady, really make me sick. Stop wasting time and get rid of the stupid kid already!" he ordered.

Kushina ignored the scorned shinigami, her head in her hands as she wept bitterly. As much as she wanted to and knew she had to kill the boy, she could not nor would she ever be able to harm her beloved best friend's only child.

"I-I loved Mikoto," she sobbed as flashes of her dearest 'family' ran through her fractured mind, "I loved Fugaku, I love, Sasuke. I just can't. I can't kill Mikoto's darling little Sasuke," she whispered defeatedly.

"Hey! Don't be goin' soft on me now!" griped Naruto, fully baring his fangs, "Not after all those women we've killed! Look lady, if you don't do it, it's gonna be the end of you, believe it!"

"Aunt Kushina," Sasuke pleaded.

"I-It's Mikoto's boy," the redheaded woman murmured, "This child's…" she started to yell, turning to face her bloodthirsty partner.

However, Kushina would never get to finish what she wanted to say. Utterly disgusted now, the blond shinigami revved up his chainsaw and drove it straight through the woman's heart, her blood mixing with the dried demon blood. "It's too late to grow a conscience," jeered Naruto. "What a shame, it looks like you were just another dumb chick after all. I have no use for that kind of woman."

As Madame Red fell backwards, reels of film sprung from her gaping chest.

"That's…" started the demon.

"Yup, you guessed it," smirked Nauto, "We shinigami don't just collect souls, we judge 'em too. We have to see what kind of people you humans are so we can decide if you deserve to go on living or not. That's where the cinematic record comes in."

"'Their lives flash before their eyes,'" Gaara said, quoting Nauto's words from the day the shinigami spent 'training' under him.

Kushina's cinematic record

A MUCH YOUNGER KUSHINA SAT CHATTING WITH HER BEST FRIEND MIKOTO TAKEUCHI*, ENJOYING A LOVELY AFTERNOON OF TEA AND GIRL TALK WHEN MIKOTO'S FATHER ENTERED THE DRAWING ROOM FOLLOWED BY A TALL, STERN LOOKING MAN WITH SHORT BLACK HAIR.

"MAY I INTRODUCE MY DAUGHTER, MIKOTO," LORD TAKEUCHI PROCEEDED, "AND HER FRIEND LADY KUSHINA UZUMAKI."

"LADIES," THE MAN REPLIED, BOWING POLITELY.

"THIS IS LORD UCHIHA," MIKOTO'S FATHER EXPLAINED, "HE HAS BEEN KIND ENOUGH TO OFFER HIS ASSISTANCE WITH THE FAMILY BUSINESS."

_'How I loathed my red hair that I got from my clan,_' Kushina thought as she lay dying and watching the strips of film as they played out her past.

"MY WHAT VIBRANT RED HAIR YOU HAVE, LADY UZUMAKI," LORD UCHIHA COMMENTED, "AS RED AS THE LYCORIS IN MY GARDEN. IT IS QUIET BECOMING."

'_It was because of _**him **_that I no longer despised my red hair. I had come to love any shade of red. And I came to love Fugaku.'_

"I HAVE THE GREATEST NEWS, KUSHINA!" BEAMED MIKOTO, "FUGAKU'S PROPOSED AND I SAID YES!" A STUNNED AND DEVASTATED KUSHINA STOOD BEFORE THE SMILING COUPLE, HER HEART SHATTERING TO PIECES.

SIX MONTHS LATER, A VERY SUBDUED KUSHINA SAT WATCHING AS HER BEST FRIEND STOOD BEFORE THE PRIEST ALONG WITH THE MAN SHE'D SO DESPERATELY DESIRED. A FALSE SMILE WAS PLASTERED ON HER FACE WHILE INSIDE, KUSHINA WAS SCREAMING.

'_Because of my beloved and dearest Mikoto, I one again began to hate the color that _**he **_said looked so good on me. No matter ho much I wanted to, I could _**never **_hate either of them. Eventually, I found happiness in marrying Minato, an acquaintance of Fugaku's. He was such a kind, loving and gentle man.'_

"SO WHAT DO YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO BE?" HER HANDSOME BLOND HUSBAND ASKED AS HE LAID HIS HEAD ON HER SWOLLEN BELLY. "A BOY OR A GIRL?"

"YOU'RE ALWAYS SO IMPATIENT, MINATO!" CHIDED KUSHINA, GIGGLING WHILE GIVING HIM A 'NOOGIE'. "YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT TO THE KID GETS HERE TO FIND OUT."

"AW NO FAIR!" HE WHINED.

_'It certainly didn't go as I had wanted, but still, I was happy. Once again, I came to love that brilliant crimson color. Then _**it **_happened.'_

THE CARRIAGE SHE AND MINATO HAD BEEN RIDING IN TOPPLED ONTO ITS SIDE, THROWING THE TWO OF THEM VIOLENTLY ONTO THE ROAD.

"SOMEONE'S BEEN HIT! SEND FOR A DOCTOR QUICK!" SHE COULD BARELY HEAR, THE PAIN IN HER MIDDLE RAPIDLY BECOMING UNBEARABLE AND SHE BLACKED OUT.

'_The day I thought I'd lost it all.'_

KUSHINA HAD LATER AWOKEN IN A HOSPITAL BED. FRANTIC, SHE WAS ABOUT TO LEAP FROM THE BED, BUT A KINDLY LOOKING ELDERLY DOCTOR HAD CHOSEN THAT MOMENT TO ENTER HER PRIVATE ROOM.

"I SEE THAT YOU'RE AWAKE," HE SAID NERVOUSLY, "HOW ARE YOU FEELING?"

"WHERE'S MINATO?" SHE DEMANDED, GLARING AT THE FIGETING DOCTOR. "WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?"

"I AM TRULY SORRY, LADY KUSHINA," HE REPIED, PLACING THE CHART ONTO THE BEDSIDE DRESSER AND LAYING A SYMPATHETIC HAND ON HER SHOULDER. "YOOUR HUSBAND, SIR NAMIKAZE, IS DEAD. HE DIED INSTANTLY WHEN THE TWO OF YOU WERE THROWN FROM YOUR CARRIAGE."

THE RED HEADED WOMAN LOOKED LIKED SHE WAS ABOUT TO THROTTLE THE OLDER MAN, BUT JUST SILENTLY STARED AHEAD BLANKLY AFTER LOWERING HER HANDS TO HER LAP.

"THERE'S MORE SAD NEWS, I'M AFRAID," THE DOCTOR SPOKE ONCE MORE. "THE ONLY REASON YOU ARE STILL ALIVE IS THAT WE WERE FORCED TO REMOVE YOUR WOMB ALONG WITH YOUR UNBORN SON. I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. I WISH THERE WAS SOME OTHER WAY TO SAVE YOU AND YOUR SON, BUT THAT WAS OUR ONLY OPTION."

_'Nothing. I was left with nothing. I lost the only man I ever truly loved to my best friend. I l lost the child and husband I had come to love. For the third time, I had yet again hated the color red. On _**that **_day, it looked as if that accursed color had stained the very world itself.'_

KUSHINA LEAPT FROM THE SLOWING CARRIAGE AS THE UCHIHA MANOR DREW NEAR. HOWEVER, INSTEAD OF A PEACEFUL, STATELY MANOR HOUSE, SHE WAS GREETED WITH A BLAZING RED INFERNO. ALL HER EYES COULD SEE WAS THAT HIDEOUS VERMILLION AS IF THE HOUSE WERE BLEEDING FROM EVERY PORE.

_'My dearest Mikoto was buried with her beloved Fugaku. I had so wanted to bury rip out my own heart and bury it with them.'_

"I KNOW WHUT I'M DOIN'," THE LOW BORN WOMAN SAID, TOSSING HER HAIR TO THE SIDE, "A BRAT'S NOTHIN' BUT BAD FER BUSINESS. 'SIDES I DON'T MAKE ENUF TA FEED MYSEL' MOSTA THE TIME."

KUSHINA HID THE DISGUST AND HATRED SHE WAS FEELING BEHIND A MASK OF PROFESSIONAL INDIFFERENCE AS THE WHORE WENT ON AND ON.

_'I had absolutely nothing left. Those b*^#es had what I wanted more than anything, what I can _**never **_have now. They all threw that away like yesterday's rubbish without a second thought. How I wanted to stain them in that loathsome color.'_

"OH IT'S YOU!" THE LATEST WHORE SHE'D OPERATED ON SAID UPON HEARING FOOTSTEPS FOLLOWING HER, "W-WHAT ARE YA DON' 'ERE?"

THE WOMAN QUICKLY BECAME FRANTIC AT SEEING THE MADNESS IN THE RED HEADED DOCTOR'S EYES. "N-NO STAY AWAY!" SHE SCREAMED ONLY TO BE IGNORED. SHE CONTINUED TO SCREAM AS KUSHINA'S KNIFE STABBED HE BELLY OVER AND OVER.

"THAT WAS SOME SHOW LADY," CALLED AN UNEARTHLY VOICE.

KUSHINA GASPED AND LOOKED AROUND FRANTICALLY, WORRIED SHE'D BEEN DISCOVERED BY THE AUTHORITIES. THERE WAS A MAD GIGGLING BEFORE THE VOICE SPOKE UP AGAIN. "UP HERE, BABE."

GLANCING UP AT THE STEEPLE OF THEH NEARBY CHURCH, SHE SAW A BOY ABOUT TWENTY OR SO SITTING ON THE HIGHEST PART. HE GRINNED AT HER, GIVING HER A SAUCY WINK.

'_That was when I met that maelstrom of a reaper, Naruto. A few months later, the child of my best friend reappeared after being missing for almost a year.'_

"SASUKE!" KUSHINA CRIED AS SHE BURST INTO THE DRAWING ROOM OF THE STILL UNDER RECONSTRUCTION UCHIHA MANOR, A LOOK OF UTTER JOY UPON HER FACE. HOWEVER, IT QUICKLY TURNED TO SHOCK AND CONFUSION AT SPYING THE REDHEAD DRESSED IN SCARLET LIVERY WITH HER 'NEPHEW'.

_ 'With him was a butler, a man that was red from head to toe.'_

"IT'S REALLY YOU!" SHE SHOUTED AND RUSHED OVER TO THE BOY, IMMEDIATELY SCOOPING HIM UP INTO HER ARMS. "THANK THE GODS!"

_'I was so sure I had one precious thing returned to me, the son of my beloved Fugaku and dear Mikoto. But why? Why didn't Fugaku come back? Why did he have to pick Mikoto? It was at that point in my life I decided to fix everything that had been wrong in my life._

Kushina's cinematic record ended and a single tear spilled from the dying murderess. "You really were beautiful, Kushina," Naruto said as the last bit of life left her body with that tear. "all covered with blood as you slaughtered those whores. I could almost have loved ya. Shame you had to go and ruin it all by growing a conscience." The blond shinigami then forefully yanked her red trench coat off her cooling corpse. "Now that I think about it, red looks better on me, dontcha think? Well, jya ne* 'Madame Red'." With that, Naruto donned the coat, which was a bit small for him and wound up being draped over his elbows, and commenced to nonchalantly stroll away.

"What are you waiting for?" scolded Sasuke as he gingerly closed his aunt's eyes and covered her with Gaara's coat. "Didn't I tell you to stop 'Kyuubi'? Do you think this is over?" he called to Naruto, "Kill him already, Gaara!"

"Of course," replied the demon.

"You know," the blond death god said, pausing, "I was going to let you go, Gaa-chan, as a professional courtesy, buuuuuut if you're insisting…" The shinigami's chainsaw roared into life, anxious for more blood. "I'll send you and the two of you straight upstairs!"

"Don't be stupid," Gaara chided, smiling as he once again began to evade the attacks with grace and ease. "You should know, one of **my **kind isn't welcome in heaven," he quipped, placing a well aimed kick to Naruto's face.

"Hey! Not the face!" the blond whined, "Don't ya know how many ladies have gone for this gorgeous hunk of flesh?"

"My apologies," the demonic redhead quipped with mock sincerity, "But you see, I'm simply 'one hell of a butler,'"

"If you think a demon can beat a reaper, then bring it pal!" he challenged.

"Indeed. Though I feel compelled to want you, if the young lord orders me to win, I **will** win."

"My, my, you're quite attached to that gaki, aren't ya Gaa-chan?" huffed Naruto, "You're making me jealous. You may be immortal like me, but one hit from this baby and it's game over. I'd start gettin' scared if I were ya, believe it!"

Gaara smirked at the boastful shinigami, placing his remaining hand upon his heart. "Don't count on it shinigami. I am my master's servant. I belong to him, mind, body, and soul, down to every last hair. Our contract is still intact, thus I will follow his **every single **order. That is what being a butler is all about."

The redheaded demon gave the blond shinigami a Cheshire grin, eyes blazing with an icy fire.

~TBC~

A/N:

* Ningenkai – human world

* Shinigami – literally 'God of Death' but can also be translated as Grim Reaper

* Gaki – brat

* Takeuchi – since Kishimoto-sensei still hasn't given us much info on Mikoto Uchiha, Sasuke's mom, I had to come up with a last name for her so this is what popped up.

* Jya ne – slang term like 'see ya' or something. I'm not too sure, but that's what I think it is.

Anyhoo, I know you're all gonna want to kill me for this, and not just for the cliffy either.

Naru: Damn right I'm gonna kill ya, ya crazy freak! How could ya make me do that to my Ma?

Gomen nasai Naru-chan! I HAD to! It's n the script see? (Holds up the BB manga)

Lee: That was most unyouthful of you miko-sama! No son should have to kill their own mother!

Oi! Take it up with the boss if you have complaints Bushy Brows! She's the one who demanded I stick to as close to the show as possible.

Gaara: We'd rather not, thank you.

Smart man, Gaa-koi.

Asch: And I thought Dist was a freak.

ASCH! DARLING! (Glomps the God General)

Asch: GAH! GET OFF! GET HER OFF!

Jade: My, don't you make a cute couple. ^_^

Asch: S-Shut up and get her off me!

Ghirahim: (snaps fingers and diamond linked chains yank the miko off him) I thought you were working on a story with me and that sky child, and here I find you with another man! Oh how shameful! How utterly scandalous! My poor heart is broken!

GHIRA! (Glomps the sword spirit)

Link, Shadow Link, Vaati, and Ganondorf: …. -_-'''

Zelda: (sighs) I guess I'll have to be the one to do this. (clears throat) Please tell Sakura-san what you think of this. She'd really appreciate your feedback. Thank you. (bows)


	6. Chapter 6

Kuroshitsuji – Naruto Style

By Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Episode 6

The blond's chainsaw roared into life once more as Naruto rushed the redheaded butler. With the grace all of his kind was gifted with, Gaara leapt into the air and flipped backwards.

"Would you look at us," Naruto jeered, grinning insanely, "A shinigami and a demon." The demonic servant's sand formed a spear like object and swiped at the death god. Naruto, however, just floated upwards and out of the spear's reach. "Looks like we'll never work this out, these forbidden feelings we have for each other. Why it's just like Orihime and Hikoboshi*!" he all but squealed.

Gaara blanched at the shinigami's wild imaginings. Utterly disgusted by Naruto's flirtations, the redhead promptly leapt after the blond and attempted to give him a boot to the head. Naruto dodged the potentially damaging attack with mere seconds to spare and landed on one of the city's many rooftops, the demon close behind. "Ne Gaa-chan, what don't ya ditch the brat? I'm **so **much better than a child could ever be!"

The redhead smirked maliciously. "The moment he called me 'Gaara', that simple word became our solemn pact. I was reborn as his and his alone. Ever since that day, I've been 'Gaara' and my master's only. I swear this by the moon above."

"How can I believe a thing you say," replied the blond shinigami, showing off his love of literature, "when you swear by something as inconstant as the moon? But I can see what you're really doing, you naughty demon you. You've been checking me out all this time and undressing me with those icy eyes of yours, haven't ya?" He then stuck a suggestive pose, leering lustfully at the demonic butler. "So how 'bout it lover boy, wanna make some li'l demons with me?"

Poor Gaara started to turn a vivid shade of green at Naruto's lewd suggestions. "I must ask you to cease and desist such talk. You're being nauseating."

"Why must you treat your one true love so cruelly Gaa-chan?!" Naruto cried with mock hurt. The shinigami yet again revved up his chainsaw causing Gaara to immediately increase his guard.

"You bewitching tyrant!"

The demon leapt and did a mid air split as the deadly blade came rushing at him.

"Hellish angel!"

Gaara leant backward and rolled out of harm's way.

"My blood soaked tanuki!"

Gaara rolled again in the opposite direction causing the blade to slice into the roof's shingles. "Ahh if only the night would **never **end," moaned Naruto as the red haired demon stomped onto the hand holding the chainsaw, effectively pinning the weapon down and rendering it useless. "We could stay here like this forever and ever in love under the moon's magic glow. But I know it's not to be, so I'm afraid it's end of the line for you, my seductive demon lover." The blond surprised Gaara with a classic and well placed head-butt. "How 'bout a kiss before you go? No? Well then, parting is such sweet sorrow 'n' all that jazz."

Due to the death god's surprise attack, Gaara hadn't enough time to recover and gasped slightly as the deathscythe whirred and slashed clean across his chest. Strips of film began to explode forth from the fatal wound. "So show me your cinematic record, Gaa-chan. I bet it's sooooo much better than any old mortal's."

Naruto grew increasingly annoyed as frame after frame of the Uchiha lord's bumbling servants flashed by. "W-What the heck is all that junk?!" he demanded. "Where's the good stuff?!"

"Sorry to disappoint you," Gaara said, smirking and rising to his feet. Lucky for him, demons healed extremely fast. "But you'll have to pay fro the juicy bits," he added from behind the blond's ear.

"Cheapskate!" snarled Naruto, whirling around only to face an incoming boot to the head from the demon. The shinigami flipped back and landed a few feet away, out of the demon's reach.

"My clothes are ruined again, thanks to your shenanigans," grumbled the butler, frowning at the gash in his uniform jacket.

"Hey! You shouldn't be worrying 'bout your stupid clothes," shouted the blond, "Or are ya that confident? But then, I can't say I blame ya either. A guy's gotta look good for his sweetheart, ne Gaa-chan?"

"I was hoping I didn't have to resort this," Gaara replied, fighting against the nausea and tearing off his ruined jacket with great flourish, "but it seems I have no choice."

"Ooo, gonna get serious now, are you?" the shinigami asked, getting psyched up at the thrill. "Ok, bring it on, Gaa-chan! I'm gonna end this in one blow, believe it! Sayonara, Gaa-chan!"

The two combatants lunged at each other in what appeared to be a very deadly game of chicken. However, true to his fashion, the redheaded demon shoved the remains of his tattered jacket into the workings of the death god's chainsaw, effectively jamming the spinning blade. "T-T-The hell?!" sputtered the blond as he fell flat on his face.

"That coat was made of the finest Kusagakure wool," Gaara said, smirking triumphantly, "It's a rather tricky fabric. Once it gets caught in something, good luck in getting it out."

"H-H-How could you do this to your beloved?!" wailed Naruto as he desperately tried to remove the stubborn jacket.

"The young master acquired that coat for me and I certainly did **not **intend to ever use it in such a disgraceful manner. But of course a certain bothersome person did destroy it already," he added, looming over the shinigami. "So, shall we settle this like gentlemen?" the demonic butler inquired, cracking his knuckles a devilish grin on his face. "I should warn you, I am rather good at pugilistic endeavors."

"W-W-W-Wait!" pleaded Naruto, "N-N-N-Not the face!"

Of course, being the hellish being he was, that was exactly what Gaara did. The redheaded demon struck the poor blond's adorable face over and over again with hand and foot.

"I-I-I said **not** the face! S-S-Stop please!" begged Naruto as he went sailing over the edge of the roof. Just as the shinigami was about to land on top of the boy kneeling by his murdered aunt, a red and black blur knocked the still wailing death god a good few yards away.

"Forgive me, my lord," Gaara apologized, landing gracefully before his master. "I miscalculated the distance of my attacks."

"You're filthy," was all the child said in response.

"That one was rather troublesome to deal with, young master."

"I-I-I-I'll kill ya, ya b $ rd!" groaned Naruto, his once handsome face a bloody unrecognizable mess.

"I guess you can't kill a shinigami with your bare hands after all," quipped the demonic butler, picking up the blond's discarded weapon and yanking out the jacket in one practiced jerk before turning it on. "There," he said leering maliciously at the cringing and whimpering reaper. "Now it should work perfectly. Should we test it? Perhaps on you, _**beloved**_?"

"N-N-N-N-No wait!"

The blond's pleas fell on deaf ears as the demonic butler stomped again on Naruto's head and started toying with it, much like a cat would its prey. "I must admit, kicking is much better than being kicked," he quipped, "My lord, as vile as this thing may be, it's still a divine being. Are you sure you'd be willing to accept whatever punishment we may receive for killing him?"

"Must I repeat that order, Gaara?" huffed Sasuke.

"Of course not, master. Oh look," jeered the redhead as he returned to toying with the blond, "we found something you're actually good at, screaming. As a reward, why don't I kill you with your own precious toy?"

"N-No w-w-wait! I know who killed the brat's parents!" screamed Naruto.

The last of the Uchiha clan gasped and was about to order Gaara to stop as the chainsaw began its descent toward the reaper, when a flash of silver and the clang of metal striking metal rang throughout the alley.

All three present whirled their heads toward the rooftops where the immensely long hedge clippers had come from.

"Sorry for interrupting your little get together," the figure holding the clippers said as he retracted the weapon to its normal length. "I am Sora Furido." The clouds obscuring the moon moved aside to reveal a primly dressed boy a year or so older than Naruto. His black hair cut short with the sides angling down toward his chin. "Head of the Shinigami Staffing Association. I'm here to collect that idiotic shinigami there," he said scowling at the bloodied and bruised creature that was Naruto.

"Sora! Hey there, buddy!" Naruto greeted cheerfully upon realizing he was about to be saved. His superior leapt off the roof and landed right upon the poor blond's head, causing it to get smashed into the cobblestones yet again. "Naruto Uzumaki," Sora began reading from a notebook he'd taken out, "you have violated copious amounts of rules and regulations not to mention, 1) Killing people before their appointed times, 2) Using an illegally modified deathscythe, and 3) Willfully volunteering highly classified information regarding the Uchiha murders." He then roughly ground the blond's face into the pavement at that last bit.

"I must apologize for the trouble my baka subordinate has caused you," the boy said, reluctantly bowing to the demon. "My card," he added, handing a business card with his clippers. The redhead begrudgingly accepted it, the scowl never leaving the demon's face. Oh how he hated having his fun ruined. "To think I'd live to see the day I'd be forced to bow to demon filth like you. What a disgrace to us shinigami," Sora said tersely.

"Then I would suggest you keep better watch over your employees so they won't bother us filthy creatures," Gaara shot back, inwardly seething at the brat's insults in spite of the civil smile upon his handsome face. "Mortals are so easily tempted," the demon baited, "When forced with complete and utter despair, there's no telling what they would do. Desperately grasping onto whatever flimsy thread they can if they think it'd save them from suffering, regardless of the outcome. _**You **_of all people should know that, Mr. shinigami."

"Such charming hypocrisy," spat Sora, "you demons take advantage of that more than we ever could."

"Too true," was the redheaded demon's smug reply.

"Though as of now, it appears that you've been collared, demon scum," the dark haired death god noted, glancing over to the Uchiha child and frowning at the glowing contract seal in Sasuke's right eye. "which means, you're less of a threat than the many wild animals running amok these days. We're leaving, Naruto." With that, Sora began dragging the blond by his hair. "You damned well _**knew**_ we were understaffed and _**still**_ went off and got me even more overtime," he groused, "The higher ups aren't going to be happy about all this."

As the two were about to make their way back to the shinigami realm, the sound of Naruto's chainsaw came barreling toward the older death god. Sora deftly caught the deadly weapon between two gloved fingers.

"I believe you forgot something," Gaara called cheekily, grinning.

"My gratitude," replied the boy, not bothering to look back, the demon's Cheshire grin was quite palpable. Sora promptly released the silenced blade and the deathscythe landed on Naruto's stomach, causing the blond to groan in pain. "Now do pardon us," the dark haired shinigami continued, "we'd be on our way." Then proceeded to continue dragging his moaning subordinate into the shadows.

"My deepest apologies, master," Gaara said, returning to his charge, "I let half of 'Kyuubi' get away."

"Whatever," Sasuke mumbled defeatedly, "What's done is done."

Gaara knelt and cupped a hand to the boy's cheek. "You're practically cold as a corpse, my lord. We need to get you back to the house at once. Then I'll have some nice hot tea made to help warm you up."

"Sounds nice," the raven haired lord replied sullenly, rising to his feet.

"Young master!" Gaara called as the boy started to stumble and sway. He went to help his lord only to have his arms promptly smacked away.

"I can stand by myself!" snapped Sasuke. "I'm just a bit tired, is all," he added in apology.

"Of course, my lord," the redhead acquiesced, wrapping the torn and bloody tatters of his jacket around the boy before accompanying the Uchiha back toward his town home.

"What are you still doing here, Umino?" Sir Mizuki asked as the inspector carefully picked up a few strands of blond hair from the scene of 'Kyuubi's' latest murders. He had just come from meeting a certain bunch of worthless higher ups when he spotted his subordinate crouching and crawling around the now closed crime scene.

"Something doesn't fit right, sir," Iruka replied, "I can't just believe it's really all over and we must continue to look into this further. All this shadowy business is making me ill."

"You're a good man, Umino," the head of Hi no Kuni's police force began, "So I'll give you a good piece of advice. You know of our country's long and rich history, I assume." The younger brunet nodded, "Well with that history there are certainly going to be plenty of secrets. Secrets which I suggest you stop poking into, if you want a long, prosperous life. It's been determined that the 'Kyuubi' case is part of our country's 'underworld' so let the 'underworld' deal with it."

"W-Who decided that?!" demanded the inspector, not liking these recent turns of events, that such a violent and heinous criminal was to be 'swept under the rug' so to speak. "On whose authority?!"

"Take my advice, Umino. Some stones are best left unturned. But if you still insist on knowing, then get a bloody promotion," huffed his superior, "You'll regret it though, mark my words, Iruka."

The inspector said nothing as the silver haired man returned to his carriage, his teeth clenched in righteous indignation.

So you're not telling them who 'Kyuubi' was?" Lee asked as he leant against the museum window.

"Hokage-sama ordered me to 'stop the murders', so I did," Sasuke answered, turning to gaze at the city outside instead of the paintings laid out before him.

"You're treading on quicksand, my youthful friend, letting yourself get sucked in deeper and deeper like this. Yet you just refuse to call out for assistance. But that's just how you are, guard dog of the Hokage. You're quite the challenging opponent, Sasuke-kun. I must be extra cautious around you."

"Indeed. Your opium dens are becoming a nuisance, Lee. As your 'friend', I suggest you get out now while you still can."

"Ah, but if I did that, I'd have to find another line of work. Organizing businesses isn't exactly easy nor is it youthful."

"Then go back to your home in Ta no Kuni*," quipped the Uchiha lord as he made to leave.

"I don't think so, my most youthful friend," the green clad man protested, laying a hand on the boy's shoulder before continuing to whispering his ear. "There's so much more in your charming country that I'm interested in. You in particular, Sasuke-kun.

Sasuke froze, but said nothing as Lee made his way out of the museum. "I hope to have many youthful challenges from you, my lord," he called before leaving completely.

"We have appointments to keep, come Gaara."

The ever present red haired demon nodded and followed his master toward the opposite exit.

"So this is where she is?" Gaara asked as he and his charge stood before 'Kyuubi's' last victim, Michiru Kanzaka.

"She was the last customer sent to me by 'Kyuubi'," replied the Undertaker, a bouquet of lilies in one arm.

"It looks like she was a foreigner who came here looking for a better life after losing all her family," the raven haired boy explained as he solemnly stared at the simple headstone. "She practically had no land who could claim her body."

"Quite noble of you to request me to fix her up and give her a headstone, little lord," teased the eccentric mortician.

"What nonsense are you spouting now?" grumbled the fourteen-year-old, blushing slightly, "There's nothing noble about this. It would have been noble if I had saved her, and I could have if I hadn't been so hot on catching _them _first instead of putting that woman's life before anything else. I knew what was going to happen to her, but I _**still **_let her die, along with Aunt Kushina."

"My, is that regret I hear?" the silver haired man asked.

"Of course not," was the boy's firm reply, "'Kyuubi's' gone for good and I followed Hokage-sama's orders."

"Tsunade, ne?" queried the Undertaker, "To tell the truth, I don't particularly care for that woman. Always sitting back, enjoying her sake, while you're out and about doing her dirty work for her. Such a lazy Hokage. Not exactly fair, is it?"

"It is the duty of us Uchiha. You know _**nothing **_about that," snarled Sasuke, "Such a duty has been passed down generations along with this ring," he said proudly brandishing his father's signet ring.

"It's more of a leash than a ring if you ask me," the mortician spat.

"That's enough! I _**chose **_this life, so stay out of where you don't belong!" the boy yelled, smacking the Undertaker's hand away. Quicker than a King Cobra, that hand grabbed Sasuke's tie and yanked until they were face to face. Each other's single visible eye stared at the other's intensely.

"I'd watch myself, if I were you, my lord," the older man warned, "Your precious leash just may choke you yet."

Gaara's sand hovered dangerously by the silver haired man, but the Undertaker took no heed as shoved the last of the Uchiha against his demonic servant. "If you need my help again," the Undertaker said, leaving the poorer section of the grave yard. "you'll know where to find me. Do bring that wonderful butler anytime. He's **always **welcome in my shop," he added giggling as he walked away.

"He was right," Gaara began as his master placed the discarded bouquet onto Michiru Kanzaka's grave. "That **was **noble of you."

"I'm _**not **_repeating myself," snapped the raven haired Uchiha, blushing slightly again.

"Regardless of what you may say, **I **think it was noble. But if you insist otherwise, then perhaps it was weakness?" jeered the redhead. Sasuke whirled around, scowling at the demon. "So young master, why didn't you kill your aunt? I was so sure she was going to kill you. You had the ability to stop that woman and defend yourself, but at that moment, you faltered. You refused to pull the trigger of your gun. Why? Was it the fear of being guilty for taking her life? Perhaps you refused to kill her because she was someone you knew and not a stranger like this woman lying here now?"

"Why would I do _**your **_job, Gaara?" the boy sneered, "I know you'd **always **protect me, even if it meant your life as long as our contract stands firm. That's why I refused to kill Aunt Kushina. Was I wrong in thinking that?"

"Of course not, my lord, but you **did** order me **not **to kill her as well."

Sasuke sighed. "She was hesitating at that time; I could see the conflict in her eyes," he explained, "She wasn't capable of killing me, the son of the friend she considered a sister. Just like in chess, Gaara, one wrong move and you lose. She made that wrong move, that's why _**I **_don't hesitate," he remarked as started to leave, passing by the demonic butler.

"Now, that's my master," the redhead said smirking evilly, "Always manipulating your pieces with the skill of a grandmaster. It's the only way for you to survive isn't it?"

"I'll never regret the moves I make, so I won't hesitate, Gaara. Of all the people around me, you're the _**only**_ one who'll never betray me. That's an order!"

"As you wish, young master," the redheaded demon replied, placing his hand over his blackened heart and kneeling before him. _'I will be there,' _he silently promised, _'Even if you've lost all your pieces and the king has fallen with them. I __**will **__be there, right at your side upon the pile of the bodies of your fallen pawns.'_

It was a bright, sunny day in Konohagakure, the kind that made one whistle as they went about their daily mundane activities or take long leisurely walks aimlessly about and children run about and enjoy the simple pleasures only a child could understand. Certainly not the type you'd expect for a funeral of a loved one, but sure enough, the Undertaker's hearse carriage was stationed off to the side of the entrance to Konohagakure's finest, oldest, and richest church in the city's suburbs. The black carriage with it's equally dark horses looked out of place amongst the other fancy carriages parked outside.

"Hey look, onii-san," a little girl of seven or eight in plain simple clothes cried as she ran past the church and stopped to gape at the spectacle.

"Wow the church is sure is crowded today," her nine-year-old brother remarked as he ran back to her, "Wonder if there's a party or something."

"Search me," said a much older boy who also happened to be passing by.

"But you're older than us, mister," the first boy huffed, "Grown ups are supposed to know everything."

"Stupid mister! Stupid mister!" taunted the girl.

"Oi!" shouted the eldest of the three, "I'm only fifteen! I don' know ev'rythin' yet so shut yer traps, ya babies!"

"You've got a point there, kiddo," a man dressed in black and a mask covering half his face piped up from behind the church's wrought iron fence, not taking his eyes from the little orange book he'd been reading. "Still it's a shame that someone who's 'only fifteen' doesn't understand what's so special about today."

"Why's today special, grandpa?" the little girl asked, making the man's only visible eye twitch at the 'grandpa' remark – he did have silver hair after all.

"Why it's a **very **special Lady's big day, of course," replied the strange man.

The older boy gasped and backed away, finally realizing what he meant and **who** the stranger was. "What do you mean, gran-?" The fifteen-year-old quickly covered the girl's mouth in an attempt to keep her from asking further. No child so young should ever know about _**that **_kind of 'big day.'

"She's attending the **most **important ceremony in anyone's life," replied the Undertaker, grinning behind his mask at the child's innocence and naiveté. Too bad to go and shatter it in such a way as he was about to do, "a funeral."

Meanwhile back at the Uchiha manor…

"The funeral's probably starting about now," Hinata said, listening to the church bells in the distance as she and her fellow servants were enjoying a bit of a break on the manor's front steps.

"Sure is gonna be quiet from now on," Kiba added glumly, "with 'Madame Red' being gone 'n' all."

"Aww, c'mon, un!" scolded Deidara, "You've gotta get it together you two, un! The li'l guy's gonna be needing us more than ever right now, un."

"Y-Y-You're, right Deidara-san!" agreed the maid and dragged the gardener back into the house. Deidara shook his head, but followed them.

Asuma, however, continued to enjoy his beloved green tea and the fresh air. "So you've gone where we can not, Lady Kushina," he said, gazing at the clear blue sky, "You're with _**them **_now. My you finally know the peace you so desperately sought, my lady."

The sound of women weeping filled the church as they sat meekly and properly in their fancy dresses and hats. Their men, however, sat stoically at their sides, wishing they were elsewhere of course while the preacher droned on and on.

"She has been called away," the ancient priest continued in his soporific and monotone voice. "as we all must be one day ourselves. Her body will return to the dust from which it came, but her spirit will live on with those who have gone before…"

"S-Sayonara, A-Auntie," a black dressed Sakura whimpered as her remarkably stoic mother sat quietly at the weeping girl's side.

The clergyman continued to deliver his sermon fro a few more tortuous moments then the large heavy wooden doors burst open, causing him to pause in startlement and gasps from all those around.

"S-Sasuke…" the pink haired girl sniffled as her cousin and fiancé calmly strode through, carrying his aunt's favorite red party gown. Gaara followed in behind, surreptitiously daring anyone to try and stop them. But that did not stop the harpies from immediately whispering their venomous gossip.

Sasuke glared challengingly at one old biddy who had gotten a tad loud in her zeal to spread the rumors she'd heard and she immediately stopped her yapping and attempted to leave as gracefully as she could without further damaging her tarnished reputation. Gossip amongst nobles was deadlier than any war or disease combined.

Sasuke continued his trek down the aisle and did not stop again until he reached Kushina's open coffin. The fourteen-year-old scowled at the hideous chaste and white dress she'd been dressed in as she lay upon a bed of equally white lilies.

"Those weeds and plain clothes never did suit you, Aunt Kushina," he said for all to hear, "So why would they now?" He then carefully laid the bright scarlet gown over the peaceful looking corpse until it hid every bit of the white dress. "Red always suited you best," he continued, taking the Crimson Beauty rose from his suit's buttonhole and lovingly tucked it into the woman's blood red hair, "the color of passion; of the Lycoris* flower. Sayonara, Aunt Kushina."

As he placed one final kiss to her cheek, an enormous swarm of Lycoris petals swept through the church, each one gently lifted and caressed by an unseen wind or was it a hand? The attendees watched in awe as the petals started to float about until finally taking their final rest upon the coffin. Lady Kushina was now drowned in a sea of red. Just as she had been in life.

"You can finally rest now, 'Madame Red'," the Uchiha lord whispered.

~TBC~

A/N:

* Orihime & Hikoboshi – star crossed lovers of the Japanese Tanabata festival tale

* Ta no Kuni – Rice Patty County

* Lycoris – another name for the Spider Lily, a bright red flower that is often found growing in or near graveyards. Also a symbol of death and ill-fortune.

I know some of you are probably gonna nick-pick me for switching a few scenes around this episode, but I felt that 'Madame Red's' funeral should have been at the end of the original anime episode instead of after the 'eye-catch', it just feels right to me this way. Anyhoo, hope you all enjoyed this episode and have a safe, happy, and spooky Halloween, All Hallows Eve, Samhain, or whatever you call it where you are.


	7. Chapter 7

Kuroshitsuji – Naruto Style

By Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Episode 7

Disclaimer/Warning: The author of this fanfiction does NOT condone any types of animal cruelty whatsoever. Any mentions or scenes of animal abuse is strictly for plot purposes and therefore does not represent said author's views or ideas. Nor does Gaara's view on dogs reflect my own. I love both dogs and cats equally – or all animals for that matter.

"Vacation! Vacation! We're having a vacation!" The Uchiha servants sang – rather off key – as their carriage followed their master's. Sasuke did his best to keep the famous Uchiha cool while being subjugated to such ridiculous and heinous torture of Kiba and Deidara's horrible singing.

"This is so awesome!" Kiba crowed.

"Y-Yes," agreed Hinata, "I don't b-believe the young master w-would bring us to a health spa as well."

"Yeah, the kid's being generous for once, un," piped the cook.

"Those three seem rather pleased," Gaara remarked as he continued to drive his master's buggy. "Such a kind master you are."

"Hn," huffed the raven haired boy, "They'd only destroy the mansion if I'd left them unsupervised."

"True," was the butler's only response. "This must be the village entrance," the redheaded demon said, coming to a stop. The outskirts of Canis Collis was a desolate looking place. The welcoming sign, if you could call it that, was a simple plank of wood with 'Welcome to Canis Collis' sloppily scribbled on it in flaking black paint. A spiked dog collar hung from it on an old rusty chain. Several dead trees were scattered about, each decorated with dog collars on equally rusty chains. Bleached bones and dog skulls littered the ground around them.

"W-W-W-W-What?!" screamed the now shocked and disappointed servants.

"Oops," Sasuke said, smirking slightly, "I was sure I mentioned that there was no health spa here _yet_, that only Lady Tsunade was thinking of building one here."

"No you didn't!" they replied in unison.

"Well, I just did. Any more complaints?"

"No young master," was the dejected reply.

Earlier that week…

"A vacation? At this time of year?" queried Gaara after serving his charge's afternoon tea.

"Yes. Tell me Gaara, has someone such as you ever heard of a past time known as bull-baiting?"

"No my lord. I have not, though it does have an interesting ring to the sound of it. Care to enlighten me?"

"A bear is captured for the sole purpose of being tied or chained to a pole or fence, surrounded by dogs trained for one purpose only, attack and kill the bear. Of course the bear would fight back, thus dragging the battle on, sometimes for hours."

"Only you humans could come up with such 'past times', master," the demon said. In all the centuries of his life, he never grew tired of the evil and cruelty of those his kind preyed upon.

"Yes, well, it has been banned several years ago under the Cruelty to Animals Act. However, a loophole was found almost immediately. The dogs used were _not_ banned."

"Let me guess, young master," Gaara interrupted, "They now use dogs against dogs, am I correct?"

"There is a village that is known for just that," the fourteen-year-old lord replied, digging his spoon into his flan, "Canis Collis. Publicly, they're known for their intense hunting dogs, however…" he trailed off, leaving the rest to be unsaid. "Lady Hokage is heartbroken at this."

"In other words, she lost another bet, this time on a dog, I'm guessing. So now she wishes for us to stop them before they call upon her to collect."

"We'll be going there under the pretense of purchasing the land in order to build a health resort under her name."

"So we're going to a village of dogs then?"

"Yes. So?" Sasuke looked at his demonic servant puzzledly.

"Hardly a task befitting one of your station, my lord."

"Gaara…" warned the boy, remembering the demon's intense dislike for anything of the canine persuasion. "We are going to Canis Collis and that is final, regardless if it is suitable for an Uchiha or not, which it is by the way."

Gaara said no more on the subject, instead dutifully removing the now empty plate and cup.

Present…

"I don't believe it," muttered Kiba upon spotting an old woman with a baby carriage. "People actually live here. Yo, Asuma stop for a sec will ya?" The former Uchiha steward obeyed and pulled up alongside the woman.

"N-No don't!" Hinata stammered as Kiba leapt out of the carriage and made to help the villager. "Y-You m-might hurt the baby!"

"Hey, speak up Hinata," the shaggy haired boy called, the baby carriage already suspended above his head. Kiba **never **did really learn to control his monster strength. Realizing what he'd done, the Uchiha gardener immediately stammered an apology to the old villager and slammed the carriage back down.

"I-Is it ok?" Hinata asked, rushing over to help only to give out a shriek. Inside the baby buggy was a dog's skeleton wrapped in rags, just as if it had been a real baby.

"There isn't any baby anymore," croaked the old woman. "_It _ate it." She then cradled skeleton in her arms and began to rock it. "The white dog is a good dog, good," she sang as she walked toward the village proper. "The black dog is a bad dog, bad…"

"Now do you see why we're here?" Sasuke asked his butler. "There have been reports of villagers being violently murdered or have gone missing over the past ten years. Canis Collis is now reduced to a third of its original size. The other part of our task is to find out what's been going on and put an end to it.

"Oh how a-adorable!" squealed Hinata as they passed a young farmer training his dog. "I-I-I'd like someone to hug me like that," she added blushing as she snuck a glance toward a certain red haired butler.

"So they use the 'reward and punishment' method do they?" the demonic butler remarked, "However, dogs aren't exactly completely innocent. They worship their human masters, all too happy to let you put chains around their necks. I find that hard to understand."

"You've got something to say, Gaara? Just spit it out already," spat Sasuke.

"It's just that I truly despise dogs. Cats are far superior creatures."

The Uchiha lord silently glared at the demon. The redhead knew of his allergy to cats and never missed a chance to mess with the boy. "Bow-wow!" he barked petulantly. He hadn't missed the barb at the underground's nickname for him hidden in that remark.

"You are Lord Uchiha, I assume?" a blue haired woman in maid's dress inquired as Sasuke's carriage drove up to a large manor house that was starting to show signs of neglect. Welcome to Ninken Castle, his lordship has been expecting you."

Gaara's icy teal eyes narrowed upon meeting her steel gray ones as the maid rose from her bow to smile at them. There was no mistaking this woman's scent and it rankled him immensely.

Deidara let out a barely stifled wolf whistle at the maid's apparent beauty, the pale blue paper flower peeking from under her cap, accenting her cornflower tresses perfectly. "W-Wow, w-what a p-pretty maid!" called Hinata, feeling even more inadequate against the other woman. For once Kiba was at a loss for words, haven immediately fallen under this mysterious beauty's spell.

"This way if you please," the maid said, opening the door to her master's office only to immediately be set upon by the master's whip.

"What is the meaning of this, Konan?!" he bellowed not ceasing his whipping, "What's this Chihuahua doing here?! You were to escort the Hokage's watch dog some spoiled runt of a Pomeranian!"

"Gaara."

No need for explanation was needed, the demon instantaneously sprang into action and grabbed the man's wrist just as he was about to strike the poor girl again.

"Unhand me at once you flea bitten, Rottweiler!" snarled the man, only to have the redhead smile evilly at him and increase the pressure upon the bone ever so slightly.

"He'll only listen to me," snapped the Uchiha lord.

"And just who the hell are you?!" the manor lord growled.

"I was under the impression that you must have received my letter by now. I am Lord Sasuke Uchiha," replied the boy, sitting down smugly into a nearby chair.

"There is no way Lady Hokage would send a Toy Poodle like you!" their host spat indignantly.

"What have you got against small breeds, Lord Madara? Highly unfair if you ask me, since we both are so found of dogs." The lord of the manor growled but reluctantly gave up. If that runt was indeed who he said he was, then he'd currently be the alpha dog in this situation.

"Allow me," Gaara surreptitiously whispered into Konan's ear, when he noticed how badly her hands were shaking as she attempted to pour their tea. The maid glanced at him quizzically, but gratefully stepped away from the tea cart.

"There is no deal. I will not sell Ninken Castle to anyone, Hokage or not," Lord Madara snarled after reading through the proposal he'd been handed and slamming the stack of papers onto the table.

"And why not?" inquired the raven haired lord.

"The curse," was the host's reply.

"Come now, Lord Madara, surely you don't think I'd back down at such childish nonsense. There is no curse and you know it," retorted Sasuke.

"This is not children's nonsense!" the older man yelled, shooting up from his seat. "We have been here on this land with our dogs for thousands of years! Anyone who dares to interfere with or go against my family has met **very **messy ends! Not even the Hokage is immune to this curse!"

"Is that so?" the fourteen-year-old queried, "I must say you've piqued my curiosity Lord Madara. I'd very much like to se this so-called curse of yours, what makes you so passionate about it."

The man just stood there, towering over him and growling in frustration at this upstart's flippancy.

"You're the _only_ servant in this entire house, un?!" the blond cook said in shock as he and the other Uchiha servants enjoyed some tea with Konan in the manor's paltry kitchen.

"I-I'd never manage a-anything on my own, Konan-san. I'm impressed," the violet haired maid admitted.

"You really flatter me. But, truthfully, it's not that impressive. I do manage to mess up quite a bit."

"Well if ya need us for anything, we'd be glad to help. Us servants have go to stick together, un. Right kid?" Deidara kicked the daydreaming gardener under the table, snapping out of his romantic fantasies with the blue haired maid.

"U-Um right!" Kiba piped rather hastily, blushing rather cutely.

"You're all so kind to offer your aid, but I'll be…"

Just then the bell for the master bedroom rang. "I have to go," Konan said, rising from her seat immediately. "His lordship can be rather furious if I'm not prompt."

Later…

"Oh Konan!" moaned Madara as he ran his hands all over her bare legs and rubbing his cheek against the silky soft milky white skin, her skirts bunched up into her lap. "That hag of a Hokage wants _**my**_ village! You _**know **_what has to be done now, right? That I _**have **_to protect this village!" The maid merely sat as if she were nothing more than an expertly crafted porcelain doll, her face as blank and emotionless as one. "My Konan…" he moaned, "My lovely angel."

"Yes, what is it?" the Uchiha lord called upon the knock to the guest room door.

"What is it you need?" Gaara asked as Konan entered the chamber.

"I beg of you!" she pleaded, "Leave this place; leave the village. You can not be allowed to stay!"

"And why not?" the young lord demanded.

"I…" Konan was interrupted by the howl of a rather large dog, seemingly close to the manor. "T-The demon dog!" she gasped, frightened.

"Demon dog?" pressed Sasuke.

Konan whimpered, placing her head into her hands as the shadow of an enormous hound appeared behind the drawn curtains.

"Gaara!" barked the boy.

Once again the demonic servant sprang into action and flung open the curtains to only reveal… nothing but the bleak stony countryside.

"Well?" inquired the Uchiha lord.

"See for yourself, my lord," the redheaded butler replied, moving aside.

A glowing figure of a dog could be seen running towards the village.

"Oi! What's with all the noise, un?" Deidara asked sleepily as he and his fellow servants came bustling out of the manor.

"The demon dog came here," Konan grimly explained, "Anyone who goes against his lordship's family is punished by that fiend. Such is our way. There is no way to stop that hellish hound."

"Konan!" shouted the village headsman, as he and the entire village came running up to them. "What is going on?! The demon dog is back in the village again! His lordship must be told at once!"

"W-Who was it?" asked the maid, visibly shaken. She knew all too well that someone had just been 'punished' by the demon dog.

The body of the young farmer they had seen earlier that day lay before his kennel, blood and bite marks littered his rapidly cooling corpse.

"Don't you dare touch him!" Lord Madara roared upon seeing the raven haired lord about to inspect the farmer. "So it was Izumi this time."

"He broke the law," one man said, "We're only allowed five dogs each. Izumi had **six**." "He should have seen it coming then," sneered Lord Madara.

"How can ya be so cruel, un?!" demanded Deidara.

"How _**dare **_you!" snarled the manor lord. "That dog is what protects this village as well as the guardian of my family! It had every right to punish those who go against my rule!"

"The white dog is a good dog, good," the villagers began chanting eerily, "The black dog is a bad dog, bad…."

"You're lucky it had other prey tonight, outsiders," Lord Madara said turning to leave.

"I believe it's your move, master," said Gaara, his eyes never leaving Konan for an instant as she began following her master.

The next day found the Uchiha servants moping about in the rear of Ninken Castle. "Worst. Vacation. Ever, un," griped Deidara as he slumped over a crate.

"I-It can't be that bad," stuttered Hinata.

"What's going on?" asked Gaara coming over to them, "I thought you were thrilled to have this vacation."

"Yeah, about that…" started the cook.

"It's still a vacation, regardless of this unsavory turn of events," the demonic butler interjected, grinning very much like a Cheshire cat as he produced a picnic basket and bathing suits for all. "You should be relaxing and not moping about."

At the sight of the food, everyone's mood brightened considerably. Within minutes, the men were changed into their bathing gear and happily splashing about in a nearby lake.

"Now this is relaxin', un!" called Deidara, "It's been ages since I've gone swimin' and this here lake's not even cold, un!"

"Oi, Hinata! C'mon and hurry it up already!" shouted Kiba toward the lake's changing shed.

"I-I-I-I c-c-c-can't! I-I-I-I-I-It's…" the lilac eyed maid answered, her head peeking out from the curtain, which was redder than her lord's cherished tomatoes.

"Aww, c'mon, Hina-chan!" whined the blond, "How often do ya get to go swimming; un?!"

It was several moments before the maid gathered her courage and timidly stepped from the shed and into the lake. Deidara stopped his splashing to stare open mouthed at the vision before them. There stood the very vision of a nymph dressed in a pale lavender one-piece suit. The cut of the bathing suit was made to the girl's exact measurements and showed off her womanly figure to perfection, especially her well toned legs; the high cut making them appear much longer.

"I-I-I-I'm s-s-s-so embar-barrassed!" she stammered, desperately trying to hide herself from the others' eyes.

"Wow, Hinata!" said Kiba, unused to seeing his fellow servant in so little clothing, "You… uh… look great!"

"R-Really?"

"Yep. I bet you'd look even better without those glasses, un!" added Deidara, making to grab said spectacles.

"N-N-N-N-No! D-D-D-Don't!" she cried and ran from him, starting an all out, no holds barred splashing match between the Uchiha servants.

"You're not joining them, young master?" queried the demonic butler. Sasuke had opted to just sit in a beach chair a safe distance from his rambunctious servants and read one of his many books. "Oh I see," Gaara realized upon receiving an icy glare from the Uchiha lord. "You can't…"

"I just don't feel like getting wet!" snapped the boy, "Stop making such a fuss, what's so great about swimming anyway? It's just a resort."

"So you actually plan to make that ruse into truth?"

"Of course, it's what _she _ordered, isn't it?"

"Oh? What about that demon dog from last night?" queried the redhead, refilling the fourteen-year-old's lemonade glass.

"Since when were you one to pay attention to local superstitions Gaara? You and I both know it's some sort of trick. By the way, I'd like a word with you."

"Oh hiya, Konan!" called Kiba, waving from the lake upon spotting the maid sitting on their picnic blanket, a parasol shading her from the sun.

Sasuke glanced over to her before returning to whispering to his demonic servant. "Go," he ordered, once his instructions had been delivered.

"Right away, my lord," Gaara replied, turning to leave.

"You're being rather obedient today," remarked the raven haired fourteen-year-old, "Considering that you 'despise dogs'."

"I absolutely loathe them," the red haired demon replied, "I'd like to get this over with as soon as possible. Before all hell breaks loose," adding the last bit under his breath.

About an hour later, the Uchiha servants had enough of their frolicking and were ready for lunch. As always, Gaara had outdone himself for each of them were treated to a feast of all their favorite picnic foods.

"Try some, Konan," Kiba said offering the other maid a cucumber sandwich, blushing quite a bit.

"You don't mind sharing?" the cerulean haired woman asked shyly, "that was made for you after all."

"N-Not at all, Konan-san," stammered Hinata, "G-Go ahead, it's delicious. G-Gaara-san's a r-really g-g-good cook!"

"They got him! They got the bad dog!" yelled a group of villagers from across the lake. "We can't be late for the punishment!"

Outside of Canis Collis, the entire village had gathered at the makeshift arena they used for their dog fights. The 'bad dog' they had mentioned was no other than the now deceased farmer's sixth dog Sasuke and the others had seen yesterday. The dog was chained to the ruins of an ancient stone wall topped with wooden stakes, all the while growling furiously at the gathered humans.

"Oi!" called on of the men, "It's got sumfink in its mouth!"

"Get it out!" called another.

A third man approached the still growling animal, brandishing a club. "Give it, 'ere dog!" he demanded only to receive a warning bite to the leg. "Ya damned mutt! I'll show ya!" he growled back, striking the poor dog with the club. "Let go! Give it here! Filthy animal!"

"Such a poorly trained dog," Lord Madara said, as the villager repeatedly hit the stubborn pooch with the club. "Start the punishment!" he commanded.

Several villagers released their own dogs who had been anxious to attack their restrained kinsman. They rushed him en masse, hungry for blood.

"S-Stop," whimpered Kiba, the sight of the dogs attacking each other forcing memories of his own horrible past as a test subject to the front of his mind. "T-This is wrong. Let. The. Poor. Dog. GO!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, causing the jeering and cheering villagers to stop in their tracks. Before any of them could blink, the shaggy haired gardener rushed past them and lifted one of the enormous stakes scattered through the arena floor right out of the ground.

"Get the hell off him!" he bellowed, swinging the stake and causing the attacking dogs to be scattered about like croquet balls.

"Kiba!" shouted Sasuke and the others, running to join their distraught comrade.

"How dare they butt in!" fumed one of the villagers. That one statement spread like wildfire through the rest and soon every man, woman and child were ready for a mob lynching upon these interlopers.

The Uchiha lord knew they were outnumbered and refused to give the order to attack back. within minutes, the boy's servants were tied to another stake while Sasuke was chained to the wall by his arms and legs next to the barely breathing dog.

"Please, master!" begged Konan, "Show the boy some mercy this once! He and the others are outsiders!"

"That much is true, Konan," replied the village lord. "That scrawny pup is also Her Ladyship's own guard dog. However, if I can't reason with the runt…" He left the rest unsaid; all present knew what would be the boy's fate. "Leave here at once!" he demanded, "Tell your mistress to _**never **_send her minions to this village ever again! It doesn't need her interfering in things she'd never understand!"

"Hn. You're pathetic, _**Lord **_Madara," was the scoffed reply, "You're only holding onto that power of yours through lies, trickery, and foolish superstition. The only 'bad dog' I see is right in front of me."

"Insolent Pekingese!" snarled the larger man, "You'll learn what happens when a terrier challenges a mastiff like me! Sick him!"

At that command, the recovering dogs quickly leapt into action, hungry for more blood and violence. But before a single one could reach their prey, an enormous wall of sand rose up between the Uchiha lord and the dogs. Just as quickly as it had come, the grainy substance fell to the ground to reveal Sasuke's butler, an expression of utter disgust upon his handsome face. Sensing that something was not quite right about this new opponent, some of the dogs hesitated and started whimpering, giving him the chance to knock them away from his master.

"Your timing's getting sloppy," complained Sasuke.

"And you're still getting into trouble, my lord," quipped the demon, "I do apologize for my tardiness."

"You damned Doberman!" bellowed Madara, "Kill him!"

The dogs, those that were still conscious, gave a few warning growls otherwise, they were being extra cautious with this odd smelling human.

"Such harsh voices," the demonic servant lamented, "That's one of the many reasons I despise such creatures as these." Gaara's eyes narrowed to slits of black and gold. The dogs gave frightened whimpers and immediately la down, their tails tucked under them.

"W-What the hell did you do?!" sputtered the village lord.

"Enough of this travesty, Madara," called Sasuke, "Everyone listen! The demon dog is a fake! That man's been tricking you all these years because of his obsession with power! He'd do _**anything **_to keep that power!"

"P-Prove it!" challenged Madara.

"There is this for one thing," the redhead retorted, pulling a dog's skull from one of the unconscious dogs' mouth, "It was at your manor. The marks on the corpse of last night match perfectly with this skull's teeth." There was a gasp from crowd. "Also," he continued placing a portable slide projector onto the ground then turned it on. The shadow of a large dog appeared on the thick gray clouds above. "That is the demon dog's true form; nothing more than a mere parlor trick. As for the glowing, ordinary phosphor ground into dust," he added producing a glowing crystal vial of said dust.

"So you see," piped the fourteen-year-old, "Madara is nothing but a power hungry liar."

"All circumstantial!" protested the exposed lord, "You can't actually prove I was behind it all!"

"Really now, Lord Madara?" mocked Gaara, going over to the chained dog. "You did your duty to your master," he said to the animal with begrudging respect. In an ironic sort of way, one could almost call him a dog himself. "Rest now, I'll see to it from here." The dog weakly wagged its tail in thanks and released what he'd been so doggedly hanging onto from his mouth before giving one last whimper and closing his eyes.

"My, what do we have here?" called the butler, grinning, "Pretty expensive fabric for a farmer's dog to be playing with. Wonder why it was so important to him. Quite unusual behavior don't you think, Lord Madara?" He then held up the torn bit of cloth for all to see.

"T-T-T-That's…!" stammered the village lord, recognizing he was in serious trouble now.

"A bit of your trousers I believe," Gaara finished grimly, "That animal there tore it off of you as you attacked his master."

The now denounced man gave a frightened grown as he attempted to back away only to find himself surrounded by the once again incensed mob of villagers, each one shouting their opinions, demands and questions.

"You've lost, Madara!" shouted the Uchiha lord.

One of the villagers yanked their lord's pants leg up. Upon seeing the still red and bleeding teeth marks, the mob fell upon Madara and promptly started carrying him back to the village with him vehemently protesting his innocence.

"T-T-Thank g-g-goodness that's over," Hinata said, once they were all freed.

"You're a good boy," Kiba said solemnly, crouching down to pet the wounded animal. "You defended and protected your master to the very end." He clasped the dog's body to his chest in a most unusual bout of gentleness, rivers of tears falling down upon his tattooed cheeks. "S-Such a good, good boy you were!" he wailed.

"Yet another reason for me to despise dogs," huffed the demon.

"This case is closed, don't you think?" Sasuke asked later that evening. "We'll leave as soon as this rain stops."

"Yes, young master," his redheaded butler replied, not pausing in turning down his master's bed for the night.

A bloodcurdling scream ran through the castle, causing Deidara and Kiba to rush down to the dungeon where Hinata had been sent to feed the now imprisoned Madara.

"Oi! You ok, Hina-chan?" asked the frantic cook.

The frightened maid could only point and whimper as she sat on the floor, the tray of food lay scattered about, forgotten a few feet away.

Before them lay the corpse of Lord Madara, his crimson blood splattered all over the cell walls and a thick pool was rapidly gathering on the floor. Behind the murdered man was a giant gaping hole, indicating an enormous amount of power or an equally enormous entity had broken in.

~TBC~

Duh, duh, dun! The evil cliffhanger strikes again! What happened?! Who or what killed Madara?! Does Dei have the hots for a certain shy maid? Are Kiba and Konan the latest 'it' couple? Answers to this and many other burning questions next episode minna-san! As always, feedback is encouraged and welcome. Thanks to all of you who've favored and/or followed this madness.


	8. Chapter 8

Kuroshitsuji – Naruto Style

By Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Episode 8

_The frightened maid could only point and whimper as she sat on the floor, the tray of food lay scattered about, forgotten a few feet away. _

_Before them lay the corpse of Lord Madara, his crimson blood splattered all over the cell walls and a thick pool was rapidly gathering on the floor. Behind the murdered man was a giant gaping hole, indicating an enormous amount of power or an equally enormous entity had broken in._

"The hell?!" cried the blond cook as he stared in utter disbelief at what they had seen.

"Lord Madara!" Konan gasped as she came running after Sasuke and Gaara. She was about to demand what was happening when a loud knocking resounded throughout the manor.

After rushing to answer the rather urgent and insistent knocking, they were greeted with a very frantic and out of breath villager.

"I-It's the d-devil dog!" he panted, "I-It's down in the village!"

A few minutes later found the group out in the in the pouring rain back at the ruined wall they'd been chained to mere hours ago. The entire village and even some of their dogs were kneeling before it, chanting the odd nursery rhyme they'd heard earlier. No one cared they were in danger of catching pneumonia, so frightened were they.

"Oi! What the heck are ya doin', un?!" Deidara snapped, shaking one of the praying men. "Snap outta it, un!"

Gaara made his way past the throng and crouched down to examine what was lying on the ground. Before them was Lord Madara's hand, the lord's signet ring still on its ring finger. Icy teal orbs narrowed at the obvious teeth marks barely visible at the jagged edge of the wrist.

"Great devil dog!" cried a woman, "Forgive us!"

Upon recognizing her master's ring, poor Konan fainted dead away, the shock of finding her employer's body and severed hand adding to the already piled up stress of the day.

Kiba rushed over to his crush, carefully cradling her limp body as gently as he possibly could, given his monstrous strength.

"Rather regrettable don't you think, my lord?" Gaara queried once they'd been settled back in Ninken Castle's drawing room. "That such a thing should occur now that we've solved this case. You must be a tad irritated.

To say irritated, was quite the understatement at the moment. The young nobleman was rather furious that the perpetrator had gone and gotten himself murdered and dismembered. "That's enough, Gaara," the fourteen-year-old snapped.

The redheaded demon decided to leave his current teasing of his master and turned to other matters at hand. "Where is Konan?" he asked the three Uchiha servants.

"S-S-She's resting, i-in her room," Hinata stammered, "S-S-She looked s-s-so worn out. Poor thing."

"Got that right, un," agreed Deidara.

"This place has totally cut itself off from the rest of the world," Sasuke began, "All because of this ridiculous curse. I was dead certain it was Lord Madara who made up this whole 'devil dog' mess. All so that he could have total control over the village. However, with him gone, this case has been reopened. I need to think things over again."

"Those were bites all over his body weren't they, un?" the blond cook asked, "You know, young master, maybe these folks are right about there bein' a demon dog, un."

"M-M-Maybe it's a-angry for b-being blamed for L-L-Lord Madara's actions," added the violet haired maid.

"Be as that may," Gaara started, "we can only be sure of one thing. Whatever killed his lordship wasn't human."

"Something the matter, young master?" queried the demonic butler as he readied his charge for bed.

"I don't like how you phrased it earlier," replied Sasuke, "No human killed Lord Madara. Were you implying it was that dobe of a shinigami again?"

"My, how fast you're learning these days," smirked Gaara. "But you are incorrect in thinking it was _'him'_ this time, my lord. I do believe that Hinata's thought may not be wholly mistaken. This 'devil dog' had been after his lordship therefore, I do not believe you or anyone else is in danger at the present," he went on, hanging up his master's suit.

"I can't hand her majesty such shoddy information," the boy spat petulantly.

"I am touched by your loyalty to your Hokage, young master."

"That's not what I meant. There's more to this case, and you know it, Gaara. Why else would you be so flustered when you're the one's who's usually so calm and steadfast? This thing you have against dogs intrigues me."

"Indeed, you are learning fast each day, my lord."

Meanwhile in the servants' quarters…

Kiba, having been unable to sleep, was wandering down the hall toward Konan's room. "I hope she's ok," he whispered to himself. He'd been extremely worried ever since the poor woman had fainted outside at the wall. There was a sudden creaking sound and he froze. "W-Who's there?" he called.

He was suddenly glomped onto by a violet haired blur in a nightdress.

"Oi!" he hissed, "What are you doing, Hinata?!"

"I-I-I heard a s-spooky s-sound," the maid stammered, releasing the rattled gardener.

"You too, huh? What do you think it was?"

"I-I-It could b-b-be L-L-L-Lord M-Madara b-b-b-back for r-r-revenge," she replied, shivering from the chill of the hall and fear before letting out a squeal.

"U-Um, Hinata," Kiba asked, giving her a puzzled look, "Why are you happy about that?"

"I-I, um, a-adore s-spooky stories," she answered. "L-Let's go ghost hunting!" Before he could even blink, the enthusiastic maid had once again latched onto the brunet and dragged him off toward the source of the creak…

…which had seemed to be coming from Konan's room.

The door was slightly ajar and the candle they had left behind was still burning as its glow could be seen from the inches wide opening. Curious, Hinata ran to the door only to have her face heat up and turn beet red.

Inside was, Konan, wide awake and giggling. On top of her was a naked man with short spiky white hair and he was licking all over her face and neck. "T-That tickles!" she admonished between giggles, "Not so fast. Slow down." The man obeyed and slowed his movements, "That's a good boy," praised the maid.

Outside the room, Kiba's heart was breaking upon seeing his crush enjoying the company of another. "Oooh, how scandalous!" whispered Hinata, quickly pinching her bleeding nose. "H-How could m-miss Konan a-act like this? H-Her master w-was just killed h-hours ago! K-Kiba?" she queried when she received no answer from the gardener.

The poor male was sullenly heading back to his room, devastated to learn that he **never** even had a chance with the angelic woman. Unable to bear it any longer, the brunet ran down the hall as fast as he could and straight out of the house into the still pouring rain, knocking several trees down in his wake.

"O…hayo, un!" yawned Deidara as he entered the kitchen, an equally tired and unusually reserved Hinata following behind. A rather haggard and forlorn Kiba joined the two a few moments later, not bothering to acknowledge the others as they sat down at the table.

"Ohayo," called Konan as she brought them a pitcher of milk and glasses.

"Should ya be out of bed, un?" asked the blond, "it can't be easy for ya, right now, un."

"I'm fine, thank you," she replied with a smile, "I must apologize for all this trouble though. His lordship would have been so disappointed in my weakness. He always did value showing guests the proper courtesy. What's the matter, Kiba-kun, you look a bit pale. Are you unwell?"

The brunet refused to look the woman who'd stolen his heart then crushed it to bits in the eyes. "J-Just a cold!" he sputtered backing away from her as she made to touch him. "Y-You'd better stay away or you might catch it!" He then dashed out of the kitchen, leaving the others to wonder at his sudden odd behavior.

"Pretty spry for a sick guy, if ya ask me, un," quipped the Uchiha cook.

"K-Kiba!" Hinata called, running over to the brunet sitting on one of the fallen trees.

"You seem calmer," Sasuke remarked to the redhead at his side, digging into his blackberry cake.

"Only because we're not being rushed this time," replied Gaara.

"G-G-G-Gaara-san!" screamed Hinata as she slammed open the dining room doors.

"What did you break this time?" the butler bemoaned.

"I-It's miss Konan," sputtered Kiba, joining his frantic fellow servant. "We can't find her anywhere!"

"Yeesh, un!" Deidara griped, "She's out in the field somewhere, you two. Said she was goin' to pick some herbs for medicine, un."

"Y-Y-You let her go alone?!" sputtered the maid, "W-What a-about th-the devil d-dog?!"

"Crap!" spat the blond, realizing his mistake.

"Why the heck would she do that?!" demanded Kiba, "She knew that that thing's still runnin' around!"

"She was worried about ya, un," replied Deidara, "Since you've got a cold, un."

"Because I said… Oh no!" Kiba then rushed back out of the house.

"Oi! You're comin' too Gaara, un!" the cook ordered, dashing after the gardener. The redheaded demon remained where he stood, "Hmph! Some red-blooded man you are, Gaara!" spat Deidara, "C'mon Hinata, we can find her without his help, un!"

"Y-Yes, sir!"

"Oi, where's Asuma, un?"

"Over here you two," the former Uchiha steward answered. He was dressed in full safari gear, complete with a rifle.

"Now there's a real man, un!" cheered the blond cook, "Alright, forward march, troops!" The impromptu squad promptly ran out of the manor in search of the missing maid.

"By the way, Gaara," piped Sasuke, after wiping his mouth of blackberry juice, "What color is your blood?" The demon refused to answer. "No matter. It seems we're being rushed again, doesn't it? Make sure you give me a spectacular show. That's an order Gaara."

"Yes, young master," the demonic servant replied, bowing slightly.

"Konan-san!" called the Uchiha servants as they searched through the open countryside of the village. "Konan-san!"

"Where are you?!" shouted Kiba, feeling immensely guilty that the maid was out in that wasteland alone because of his lie.

"Aaaaaah!" screamed Hinata, causing her blond companion hurry over to her.

"What is it, Hinata-chan, un?" he queried. She pointed at the rather gruesome sight she'd come across. Straight ahead appeared to be a field littered with what seemed to be human corpses, but these were blackened and misshapen. Though the resemblance to human limbs was uncanny.

"I-I h-hope w-w-w-e don't get any more surprises," she stammered. Ghosts were one thing, but trees in the forms of human bodies were another.

"Oi, isn't that…." Deidara started, noticing an all too familiar hand and ring sticking out from a mound not too far away.

"L-Lord M-Madara's hand," finished the violet haired maid.

Before any of them could investigate, an enormous howl rang through the area causing them to rush and duck behind a nearby boulder. Shortly afterward, the naked man Kiba and Hinata came walking by and stopped before the mound that had caught the blond's attention. Now that they could get a better look at the still naked stranger, Hinata noticed that the man's nails were black and much longer than normal also the barest hint of a fang or two peeked from his mouth, giving him a rather animalistic appearance.

The stranger sniffed at the hand and moved it to another part of the mound, sniffing again, satisfied.

"It's a trophy, un," Deidara whispered, "That guy probably killed Lord Madara and not some mystical demon dog, un."

"H-H-He's strangely attractive," muttered the maid, clutching her nose in her hands and desperately trying not to stare at a certain part of his anatomy.

"So if he killed him," went on the cook, "then why, un? A grudge?"

"M-M-Maybe K-Konan-san asked him to," suggested Hinata, remembering what she and the gardener had seen the night before.

"Why'd ya say that Hinata-chan?"

"Yeah!" protested Kiba. No matter who she may be with at the moment, the poor heartbroken brunet still had feelings for the cornflower haired maid. "Do go accusin' folks like that! She's got nothing to do with this!"

"Sssh!" hissed Hinata and Deidara.

However, it was too late for the man had heard Kiba's shouting and caught scent of the intruders. He slowly turned around, licking his lips as he locked eyes with Kiba who had the classic deer caught in the headlights look.

Just as he was sure he was done for, a thundering sound came roaring closer and closer until the villagers were seen running enmasse, each and everyone dressed in bathing gear. "Oi!" Deidara called, "what the heck's going on, un?"

"We're going to bath in the waterfall to please the devil dog," replied one of the men.

"We heard its hideous howling all _through_ the night last night," the old woman who he'd been giving a piggyback ride went on to explain.

"It's still angry!" added another man.

_'It must have been Kiba-kun,'_ thought Hinata, the memory of the brunet's heart-wrenching cries still fresh in her mind.

It seemed that the gardener had been thinking the same thing and hightailed it out of there before he'd cause the poor villagers anymore suffering, forcing the other servants to dash off after him.

Not too long later, the group found themselves at the ruins of an old church. Suddenly another howl rang, making them jump. As the afternoon mist slowly began to thin out, before them stood a white wolfish looking dog as big as a small house, its fur bristling. The beast open its enormous jaws to reveal razor sharp fangs. Its eyes were a fiery red that reflected the fires of hell itself.

"Well, I'll be," said an awed cook, "the darned thing's real after all, un."

"D-D-Devil d-d-d-dog!" stammered Hinata, pointing at it.

The demonic canine growled then swiftly began charging towards them.

"No!" whispered Kiba, noticing a scrap of fabric caught in the dog's nails. "What did you do to her!" he screamed commencing a charge of his own.

"K-Kiba!" yelled Hinata, too late to stop her fellow servant.

The brave or perhaps reckless and stupid gardener latched onto one tree sized foreleg only to be swung about as the devil dog attempted to throw him off.

"Gimme that, un!" the blond cook demanded as he snatched Asuma's rifle from the older man's hands. "You're about to see what a real man can do, un!" he crowed as he took aim and…

BANG!

However instead of bullets, confetti and colored streamers sprang from the weapon.

"Damn it, Asuma! Why'd ya bring a pea shooter toy with ya, un?!"

Meanwhile the hellish hound had succeeded on throwing the brunet off of its leg and was about to slash at it with its gigantic talons. Hinata and the others could only stare in fright, unable to save their friend.

"Well, well," came a new voice, "Someone's trained you well. You even know how to 'shake hands."

Before them stood Gaara, the devil dog's paw in his hand.

"T-Thanks Gaara," Kiba once the shock wore off, "you were just in time."

The demonic butler ignored the boy, too focused on the matter at hand. "As well trained as you are," he sneered, "I'm afraid we can't keep you." With that, the redheaded demon threw the much larger animal causing it to land several meters away.

"We don't have time to play with puppies," Sasuke retorted, approaching the group.

"Young master!" the servants cried in surprise.

"I'm about to finish up here, my lord," Gaara replied.

The demonic pooch rose to its feet and paused, sniffing an enticing scent.

"Is this what you smell, mutt?" the redhead asked, producing a box of rather expensive doggie treats.

The devil dog began to salivate and let out an excited bark then rushed toward the offered goodies. Hinata shrieked in worry for her superior.

"There's only one fool-proof way to get a dog to behave itself," Gaara started, his eyes turning black with gold diamonds, "Reward and Punishment. First a reward." He then leapt onto the hound's head and began nibbling just above its nose. The dog stopped in its tracks and shut its eyes in pleasure. This strange human was good at what he was doing. Too good. He immediately sat down on his haunches and let out a giddy howl.

"Uh…" wondered Kiba, "Just what is he doing?"

"I-It looks l-like… training?" Hinata suggested.

"You've had your reward," Gaara said, leaping into the air, "Now punishment!" he then promptly kicked the devil dog's side knocking the pooch back a few feet and onto its side. "Good boy," he said holding out the box of treats again, causing the canine to drool once again. "Bad dog!" the butler punched him on the chin.

This went on for several minutes until it hand gotten so rough that as the two were barreling to the ground at super sonic speed, their combined impact created an enormous hole dead center in a square of crumbling bricks.

"G-Gaara-san!" Hinata cried, rushing up to the hole, the others following behind.

"That's enough horsing around, Gaara," snapped Sasuke, irritated at his butler's antics, "Get up here this instant!"

"Yes, young master," echoed the demonic servant's voice from deep within the hole.

There was a strange low rumbling from the hole and suddenly, the area was pelted with steaming hot water as it gushed from within the earth.

"If we're to make this place a resort for the Hokage," Gaara said, from inside the still shooting geyser, "It'll need a main attraction don't you think? A natural hot spring would be just the thing to make tourists forget their worries."

The water eventually died slightly down to reveal a remarkably dry redhead, a naked white haired man in his arms. He then leapt off the watery platform. "Some butler I'd be if I wasn't able to locate such an attraction as this." It was at that moment that the man in Gaara's arms chose to – much to his disgust – lick the redhead's cheek, causing poor Hinata to hurriedly pinch her bleeding nose.

"Akamaru!" shouted Konan, hurrying over to them.

"Aka… maru?" parroted Gaara. That _**thing **_had a name?!

The naked man leapt from Gaara's hold, letting out a happy bark and rushed over to the blue haired woman. He then proceeded to lick her face in excitement. "Good boy," she crooned, stroking his spiky locks.

Once things had calmed down a bit, Konan sat on a few stones, 'Akamaru's' head in her lap as he began to doze off. "I must apologize to you all," she said, stroking the man's hair again, "I found Akamaru last month, and being the huge dog lover I am, I simply had to take this little cutie home."

"Little… cutie?!" sputtered the cook and violet haired maid.

"Akamaru does have the nasty habit of turning into a human whenever he's overly excited though."

"Lady, ya've got to be nuts if you call that a habit, un!" snapped Deidara.

"So basically what you're saying," interjected Gaara, "is that you kept from anyone finding out about him for this past month."

"Yes," she replied, "Lord Madara had been using that old legend to control the people well before I found him. However, the one who believed in that legend and feared it most was his lordship. No telling what he'd done if he knew about Akamaru. It's my fault that my sweet boy is so spoiled. I'd never thought for an instant he'd hurt Lord Madara. I beg of you, Lord Uchiha!" she pleaded, "I beg you to take Akamaru with you. I know it's all so sudden and inconvenient, but he can no longer stay here!"

"Now I know you're crazy!" protested the cook. "There's no way we're keeping a monster like that, un!"

"But if you were to train him, Gaara-san…"

"Absolutely not," refused the demonic butler, "I'm a butler not some dog whisperer."

"It might be amusing," the fourteen-year-old Uchiha piped.

"Young master…" began the redheaded demon, "Surely you don't mean to order me…"

"I do and I am, Gaara," smirked the boy.

"As you wish, my lord," the demon sighed reluctantly.

Just then the villagers came rushing toward them, still dressed in their bathing gear. "The curse!" someone shouted gleefully, "The devil dog's curse has been broken!"

"What are you going on about now," demanded Sasuke.

"There is another legend," explained Konan, "That once we've atoned for our ancestor's sins against dogs, the land will cry tears of joy."

"What fools," jeered Gaara, "Surely someone must have known about the hot spring being here all along."

"Obviously not," quipped his young charge, "Anyway, our job is done Gaara."

A few weeks later, the young lord and his entourage were back at Canis Collis to inspect the progress of the construction of the Hokage's new resort. "Quite a change," the boy remarked as he leaned back against the pool, enjoying the heat of the water, "it's just perfect. Do you think Lady Tsunade would approve?" he asked his demonic servant as the redhead slid a tray of tea and cookies into the water.

"I am sure, but I have a feeling my concerns are only going to increase as he frowned at the currently human Akamaru who was blissfully doggy-paddling to and fro in the water.

"Just a moment," Konan called as the Uchiha group was about to leave, "I was able to procure this for Akamaru." She then produced a spiked leather collar and proceeded to put it around the humanoid canine. "Now you be a good boy for these nice people Akamaru," she said, kissing his cheek, "and don't forget me ok?"

"Oi!" griped Deidara, eyeing the demonic dog balefully, "put some damn clothes on if you're gonna stay like that, un!"

"Um… Konan-san," stammered Kiba. He never did get to settle things with the maid.

"We'll see each other again, Kiba-kun," she replied giving him a quick peck on the cheek, "my dear boy."

"We'll be off then," said Gaara.

"Maybe I'll come for a visit, to see how Akamaru's adjusting."

The demon butler frowned slightly, "That may not be good," he replied, "It's no easy task to tame a devil dog. I doubt there aren't that many people who can do so. That's quite a skill you have, being able to subdue lesser beings like that."

Konan's golden eyes narrowed slightly at the veiled challenge.

"Gaara," called Sasuke, "I'm anxious to get back."

The redhead obeyed and snapped the reins to his carriage while Deidara did the same with the other carrying the servants and demonic pup. "I hope ya come visit!" called Kiba as they drove off.

Once they were far enough away, the cornflower haired maid smiled. "Oh I will," she said, an eerie tone to her voice, "Someday soon."

~TBC~

Whew! Finally got around to this thing again.

Sebby: You're work ethic is severely lacking. I can only be glad that you are not a member of my master's staff.

Oh hush, Sebby! We all can't be 'one hell of a butler' like you. Anyhoo, hope you enjoyed yourselves everyone.


	9. IMPORTANT NOTICE

I apologize for this A/N, but I have an important message to all my followers and readers. Please click on the link to my DA account in my profile to read it. This note will be taken down and replaced as soon as I have the next chapter available.


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